The frustration is real… family drama!

[Baldylovingbeard]

On a lovely dog walk over the weekend, and my darling brother starts chucking a stick for our pup…. this is how the conversation went.

‘Hey bro can you not chuck sticks, I just don’t want to encourage the pup to chase sticks’

‘stop being the fun police…..’

’ok I’ll send you the vet bill when a stick gets stuck in her throat’

AIBU?????

I just feel like people don’t respect other people’s wishes. But why!?

It's well known in the dog world that chasing a stick can cause a LOT of damage, usually by running into it full pelt at the pointy end.

It's common sense really.. therein lies the problem for most.

His response was childish, but you should have just called your dog away and put it back on the lead if he refused to stop as he's obviously a tit who doesn't like being told no.

We never throw sticks for our dog, for the reasons PPs have highlighted. We do throw balls though.

As for why your brother acted like a dick, you know him better than we do.

Not in real life no

Apparently you have, it’s hugely dangerous, plus it causes joint trauma that will lead to early onset arthritis.

Is this your dog OP ? If so , he shouldn't be trying to take charge.
Regardless, you’re correct it is very dangerous.

https://metro.co.uk/2020/08/12/garderners-worlds-monty-don-nellie-impaled-months-beloved-nigel-death-13117524/amp/

i remember that from a few years ago but you can get Plastic sticks which are safe . kong do a good one.

Our NDN is a vet .years ago he said it was unwise to throw sticks. The danger is that parts of wood can splinter, and get lodged in the dogs throat.or he can swallow it and it get stuck in their throat esp with a pup.Tell your bro to maybe throw a safe rubber ball .My dogs never have anything like this just a walk /run

I knew you're not supposed the throw sticks for dogs, but I can understand someone who thought he was just playing with a dog, which the dog was enjoying, challenging it.

As long as he stopped when he understoood why, I don't known why this is drama.

Next time make sure you bring a toy to chuck for the dog. I always try to or else mine is hunting for sticks to bring me instead.

As for your brother, is it typical for him? I’ve had one of my brothers get narky when I asked him to stop throwing something for my dog as well. I think in his mind he was having fun and the dog was having fun so it was none of my business. Conveniently forgetting that it was my dog, of course. 🙄 He’s prone to being childish and sulky however (spoilt-rotten eldest child) so it doesn’t surprise me.

I'm absolutely with you op and after having a dog who in the end required an serious operation and the vet not being 100%sure she would pull through after getting tiny particles from a stick stuck in her throat- absolutely do not let my dogs go near sticks

Presumably he didn't know that sticks can be harmful to dogs, I don't know that it's that well known a fact outside dog-owners.

Rather than being passive aggressive and sarky could you not have just explained to him why you didn't want him to throw the stick? It would've taken you maybe an extra 15 seconds and you could have avoided a pointless spat.

Yes. Sticks can be incredibly dangerous. A dog in my friend's family died recently after a sharp bit of stick punctured its oesophagus.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35361664

https://www.bva.co.uk/news-and-blog/blog-article/the-perils-of-throwing-sticks-for-your-dog/

Also never throw a ball high in the air for a dog to jump up and catch, as they can get stuck in the throat

Balls can also cause damage, if it goes in the throat a dog can choke and die.

This was discussed on Fri AM on BBC1 - no I don't know which programme but a quick 1st aid lesson was given too.

I didn't hear the advice given but guess it's either a ball with holes or a ball too big to fit in the dogs mouth.

I used to throw sticks for my dog.
Thought nothing of it.

One day he sort of caught/landed his mouth on a stick, it lodged in his throat, he needed emergency surgery, almost died.

Years passed, another dog, and I never threw another stick. Until I did . Dog caught stick , stick lodged across the throat, dog started to convulse. In total panic I reached in and managed to remove this one as it was stuck sideways blocking the airway.
Second dog was fine.

But no more stick throwing.
Sounds daft, but apparently accidents happen more often than we think.

So yeah YANBU

How on earth is this in any way a drama ? You are a non-drama llama OP.

Erm.... yeah

https://www.bva.co.uk/news-and-blog/blog-article/the-perils-of-throwing-sticks-for-your-dog/

People used to say "Oh its fine" and "I had no idea" about dogs being poisoned by chocolate or grapes. If you are not a dog owner, its fine not to know, but if the dog owner tells you not to do something dangerous, its both rude and stupid to push back.

If you throw a ball for your dog then someone else throws a stick the next day - guess what. Your dog is going to be “into” chasing sticks. You can’t train them out of interest in sticks. You can tell your brother not to throw them and discourage your dog from chewing them and all that but you can’t just have a dog who doesn’t like sticks because no one ever threw them one.

The fact you would even call this drama gives the impression you are dramatic and tiresome. Sorry.

Yep I don't allow stick throwing either because one of ours once got a stick - which had broken down into a smaller stick - lodged upright in his mouth. Absolutely bloody terrifying.

I don’t throw sticks for my dogs but I also don’t call this a drama. Bizarre.

‘Hey bro can you not chuck sticks, I just don’t want to encourage the pup to chase sticks because they get stuck in her throat and cause lots of pain and vets bills’
‘stop being the fun police….. oh sure of course’

No drama

It's the title that made me think wtaf? Then I read it and realised what a slow day if this is what drama looks like nowadays.🙄
Your dog your rules OP.

Taking a fake stick with you would mean you are all happy, you, puppy and brother

But I do agree in principle that ignoring the wishes of others or calling people names is off and fairly common and the reason why it happens so often is because of how we bring up our kids and childhood trauma. Others thinking or feeling differently does not mean "wrong" but then again, there are lines where behaviour becomes wrong - such as calling people names. But someone choosing differently from you isn't wrong. So I think you are right that your brother was wrong. We don't place enough emphasis on learning to not call people names and even minor put downs all build up.

Your response was a bit weird.

Surely you just go with - my dog, my rules

‘Please don’t throw sticks as they can get stuck in his throat’ would have been enough, maybe the bitchy comment if he wouldn’t stop. No need to be quite so harsh. You only get one family in life.