To think my 2 year old deserves a proper Christmas even if I’m on a budget

[ChooseNight]

So I’m trying to be organised and I’ve nearly done all my Xmas shopping already and I’m honestly quite proud of myself because I’m not made of money and I’ve got everything from charity shops pound stores or Facebook marketplace and I don’t see the point of spending stupid money on toys when you can get loads if you shop smart

So far for my 2 year old I’ve got

big plastic ride on digger from Facebook marketplace 8 pound
12 bath bombs shaped like Xmas trees
4 different tool sets (one has plastic nails and hammers and screws)
huge bag of sweets from Home Bargains
Crayons
Sticker book with 900 stickers
3 soft toys (Cocomelon lion and a random blue bear)
finger paints
playdough set
bubble machine
glow sticks (a whole tub only 3 pound)
one of those microphones that echo REALLY loud
sippy cup with dinosaurs
dinosaur slippers
pack of marbles
face paints
a kids gardening set
plastic tea set
light up bouncy ball
2 stocking fillers full of chocolate coins and candy canes
kids tablet case (I dont have the tablet yet but will get on payday)

All this only cost me about 42 pound altogether which I think is amazing. I still want to get him more for his stocking so maybe some tiny toys from the pound shop, they had bags of bouncy balls for 99p and also small party bag toys which I think he would like

My sister keeps saying I’m over doing it and that he won’t even remember Christmas but that’s not the point is it I want him to have a MASSIVE pile to open so it feels magical. I didn’t have that growing up and I want it to be different for him. I don’t get why people spend like 200 pound on one thing when I can get loads for cheaper

AIBU and should I get MORE or is this enough. I just want Christmas to be proper and special. I don’t think anyone can say I’m being stupid when I’m literally saving money. He will love it.

Not saying you are spoiling your child by that OP...just re read. You're clearly putting a lot of thought into it. I just mean dont get into the cycle of feeling they have to have loads to open to enjoy themselves. I think they get overwhelmed sometimes and its hard for them to appreciate.

Do you remember anything you got for Christmas when you were 2? Do you even have a memorty of the day? I am willing to bet the answer is no. Of course you want to get gifts for your child, your money, your child, your choice but honestly that is masses of stuff that they will either get really tired of opening or will just get into a rythmn of opening things and then get upset when they finally run out of things to open. Are other people getting them presents too? if so that is even more things to overwhelm them and take up space in your home. And no to the tablet!

I don’t actually think the tablet is the worst thing.

i think teaching her child that the only way he can enjoy Christmas is with a huge pile of presents and valuing material things above all else is much worse.

A lot of these gifts are pointless plastic going towards landfill though.

why would a 2 year old want or need flowers sticks? You can't exactly play with them.
christmas tree bath bombs. I'm guessing he'll have those Christmas Day but he won't use all 12 so will have to be used after Christmas.
does he really need 4 different tool sets? One or two are plenty.
2 year olds don't need sweets
i wouldn't give a 2 year old marbles as they're a huge choking risk. Have you got him a marble run too for him to play with? If not a bag of marbles is essentially a bit pointless.

have a think about more suitable toys for him. Things he can actually play with and learn from. It sounds like you're on a bit of a kick to get as much as you can cheaply, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you're buying things that are pretty pointless and lots of, essentially, plastic tat that will end up in landfill.

books, wooden games and toys would be so much better.

Why do they need that much. Kids at that age aren't worried about what they get.

too much for 2 yr old. Likely to be calmer and happier with just a few toys and mothers full attention.

This! I used to live Christingle as a kid, I went with my auntie.

I’d say this problem with just buying a load of cheap bits is that some of it will just be junk that won’t get used, and some of it will be anticlimactic…… bath bombs? For a two year old?

It’s too much really but he’s your child. You specifically want a massive pile and that’s what you are doing. You are associating the massive piles of presents with Christmas being magical. The thing is that the kids don’t always think in the same way. When my dd was six I got her an enormous playmobil fairy castle. It was 180 second hand and it took two nights to build it. Halfway through Christmas Day my mum arrived and asked her what she had got for Christmas and dd couldn’t want to show her the new…triangle she had got. At the end of Christmas day she declared her triangle the best present and the best thing about Christmas was putting out the reindeer food with her sister and having jam (cranberry sauce) in her dinner.

You are doing him no favours whatsoever by teaching him that a 'proper Christmas' is all about how many presents you have. Imagine having him believe magical = getting
Would be much better for you to come to terms with what you feel your Christmases lacked as a child rather than trying to have a re-do via your 2 year old. I can almost guarantee that he will not react as you imagine in your imagined Christmas morning gift opening fantasy 🤷‍♀️

We didn't have a big 'pile' of presents on any Christmas and I never felt hard done by.

"Marbles aren't to eat". Tell that to a 2 year old 😂 That's why they're dangerous.

I was expecting a wholesome post about things you're doing on a budget to make Christmas magical, not that you've managed to get a load of mainly tat cheap so your 2 year old has a big pile of stuff to look at.

But well done on shopping frugally, I guess?

It’s more that a special Christmas is not the same as a big pile of presents. Do you really want him to grow up thinking a big present pile is what makes an event? Christmas is about family, who you spend it with, what you do, the special little family traditions they grow up with. If it’s just you and him for Christmas Day think up some lovely traditions you can carry on for years and he’ll always remember. A lovely Christmas stocking with thoughtful things in, maybe you always put a chocolate coin in, and you open it first thing together in your bed, a few presents each under the tree you can open together. Christmas Eve he gets a new Christmas book that you read together with the tree lights on, Christmas Day you get a game you can play together after Christmas lunch with some nice snacks, then a Christmas film. Things like that.

Agreed.

To confirm : I def dont think you are a bad mum. You spund like you are working hard on a budget to make it special.

My in laws went crazy with gifts last christmas and my then 2 yr old was glazed over the whole day. Like stunned amd vaguely "shut down" I think it was all just a lot to process. I removed a lot of ot in the middle of the day and then things got bsck to normal.

I think you can give it all but space it out amd do activities and playing together across december. You get more bang for your buck that way.

Btw finger paints amd great for making christmas cards! That could be a nice activity in dec run up

My daughter started using a tablet at around 2 - at that age looking at endless pictures of buses, and to play a wee shape game. Whether you use a tablet or not is up to you. It doesn't determine whether they can behave in a restaurant or not.

HRTFT but another with your sister.

I had crap Christmases as a child, really bad. As a result, I gave DC the Christmases I dreamt of. I was fortunate I could afford it but looking back it was insane to spend hundreds of pounds when DC1 (who was our only DC for the first ten years) was a toddler almost thirty years ago.

It also set a prescedent. Toddlers don't care, but going forward you could feel the pressure to top it each year and that can get very expensive. They might also wonder if they've done something wrong if Father Christmas doesn't deliver up everything they're expecting.

A huge pile or spending a fortune isn't what creates Christmas for a young child. Save your money for when they're older. DC get more and more expensive and it doesn't stop as they become adults. In the past two years alone we've had a wedding, a GC and one going off to university.

The choices you make now will guide future celebrations. At their age I guarantee they won't even remember what you bought.

That looks like an overwhelming amount of stuff. If you want to give him other things, I’d spread them out over the new year as rewards for good behaviour and achievements.

When my teenagers look back on Christmases from when they were small they don’t remember the presents at all. They remember making Christmas cards, decorating the cake, going to the local pub for carol’s and sliding form the beer barrel chute into the cellar to see Father Christmas, the school nativity, making a Christingle during the Christingle service in the local church, and decorating the tree and house with holly and mistletoe.

My lad is 5yr now and I've been able to take him out for a meal for a year or two now. Just the two of us, no screens in sight. We do often take books to read if we want to, but mostly just sit and chat, enjoy the food. He understands that at a restaurant you stay seated unless you ask to excuse yourself to use the bathroom, knows how to order politely, use manners, read the menu, that you sit and wait for others to finish, and so forth.

None of it came easily, it was hard won! Places like McDonalds were great for learning as they're still restaurants, you still can practice staying seated, eating with decent manners, tidying up after yourself, making conversation and so forth. Then we just took it from there.

I take pride in the fact that my child can go out and have a meal with others and not need to be lobotomised by a screen to tolerate what should be a pleasant, enjoyable treat. Not saying he's perfect at all, or that different kids don't have different challenges, but I honestly think a lot of parents just won't and don't put the effort in, they cba. Or they presume kids are incapable and reach immediately for the screen as that's what they see all around them.

How can you not know that marbles are a choking hazard?

I wouldn't give a child candy canes, either. Or a tablet for a two year old.

The microphone will likely drive you mad by New Year.

At that age, my son would open his presents and then go and get out his old, familiar toys or play with the boxes.

I don't see any books on your list.

You can't have too many books.

Books are the best gift of all imo. Even if a child isn't into a specific book that day, they'll often revisit it later on and enjoy it.

Went to a party recently, and instead of party bags everyone got a book to take home which was just so lovely.

If anyone ever asks my what my kid is into for gifts, and I can't think of anything specific, I go for books. Plus it's affordable for everyone, they can grab one from a charity shop. It's a lot of pressure on people at this time of year to feel they have to spend a certain amount and money doesn't go far these days!

At OP's toddler's age my kid was obsessed with books, it felt like all we did some days, I remember just sitting and him passing book after book after book, reading the same book ten times in a day or twenty on the trot. He just adored it. I think with small children they love the closeness to their parent, the snuggling, the laughing at things together, the sharing turning pages, as well as the actual story. It's magical.

I mean well done in the bargains, but that's an excessive amount of uncessary stuff for a 2year old who will probably play with the boxes.

I would keep some of it for his birthday.

The works book offers have always done me well for gifts!

Sounds great apart from the bath bombs, I would be worried about what’s in them.

If you want another thing maybe get The Night Before Christmas. Give it to him on Christmas Eve to read to him. Beautiful book to save for year after year.
One idea for the crafts is to wrap one item for each of the advents to spread things out and build up to Christmas.

If this is what you're going to do every year you'll end up with a materialistic money-grabbing child. One good quality robust present plus a fun stocking of small gifts is plenty.
And a tablet for a two year old is just bonkers.

The magic of Christmas comes from looking at the lights on the houses, going to the Christingle, carol singing, spending more time together, playing games, reading Christmas stories, eating delicious food.
You're over-compensating, OP, and I'm sure you don't need to.
But I do love the idea of buying presents from charity shops.

It’s good you haven’t spent much but the amount of presents does seem excessive for a 2 year old and you’ve built a rod for your own back for when they get older.

A tablet for a 2 year old?? Come on! How is overbuying, making Christmas magical and special? By doing this, you are reinforcing the idea, that Christmas is about goods and presents and it’s not ( particularly at 2). Sorry.