To think my 2 year old deserves a proper Christmas even if I’m on a budget

[ChooseNight]

So I’m trying to be organised and I’ve nearly done all my Xmas shopping already and I’m honestly quite proud of myself because I’m not made of money and I’ve got everything from charity shops pound stores or Facebook marketplace and I don’t see the point of spending stupid money on toys when you can get loads if you shop smart

So far for my 2 year old I’ve got

big plastic ride on digger from Facebook marketplace 8 pound
12 bath bombs shaped like Xmas trees
4 different tool sets (one has plastic nails and hammers and screws)
huge bag of sweets from Home Bargains
Crayons
Sticker book with 900 stickers
3 soft toys (Cocomelon lion and a random blue bear)
finger paints
playdough set
bubble machine
glow sticks (a whole tub only 3 pound)
one of those microphones that echo REALLY loud
sippy cup with dinosaurs
dinosaur slippers
pack of marbles
face paints
a kids gardening set
plastic tea set
light up bouncy ball
2 stocking fillers full of chocolate coins and candy canes
kids tablet case (I dont have the tablet yet but will get on payday)

All this only cost me about 42 pound altogether which I think is amazing. I still want to get him more for his stocking so maybe some tiny toys from the pound shop, they had bags of bouncy balls for 99p and also small party bag toys which I think he would like

My sister keeps saying I’m over doing it and that he won’t even remember Christmas but that’s not the point is it I want him to have a MASSIVE pile to open so it feels magical. I didn’t have that growing up and I want it to be different for him. I don’t get why people spend like 200 pound on one thing when I can get loads for cheaper

AIBU and should I get MORE or is this enough. I just want Christmas to be proper and special. I don’t think anyone can say I’m being stupid when I’m literally saving money. He will love it.

What you've got is more than enough for his age. You need to do a few things in the run up to Christmas, see the Christmas lights in your town, go on a walk in the local area and count how many houses have decorations, make some Christmas cards, if you can bake a cake and let him ice and decorate it. Go to a church for a Christingle service, make Christmas decorations. These things to a child are magical and don't cost much or don't cost anything at all. Christmas will also be special because he has a loving Mum not a never ending massive pile of stuff.

All that for 42 quid is brilliant. Well done!!
I avree that ita nice to have a bunch of lresentd it feels all special. Lits of unwrapping. Its definitely also true that they won't remember it, but they will temember the magical christmas that you created, with or without a huge pile, but I think, yes go for it if you want to.
You can always put some stuff aside and get it out later in the year. For ecample, new crayons, they open then you put them aside and ina few months when their old ones are broken you have a new set ready. This works well with little kids as they don't remember all the items.

I'll also say this op.

My childhood was shit and abusive, and my dc only have me.

I've tried so much to make up for my childhood by going OTT for my kids. They don't get it though, they have never experienced what I have, so there's no point in me trying to make up for my shitty childhood. It was all about me, quite honestly.

Now my oldest 4 are all teens and adults I often hear them sitting and chatting about things, and when christmas and birthdays are mentioned it's never about the presents I stressed myself out getting, it's about the daft little things I did to make some magic for them, things that cost nothing or very little but just take a bit of imagination.

I would give the tablet a miss for a year and count the digger you and anything ‘bigger in size’ as main presents and everything else in a stocking ( although more like a sack looking at amount you have - ) it’s absolutely plenty OP at that age - I honestly think too much can be overwhelming - well done by the way though on both choices and budget - Xmas isn’t about quantity being magic , it’s about a nice warm fun filled day with his favourite person - use the difference to have lovely food, the heat up ( unless it’s warmer than average) a fake tree if you don’t have one etc

Just to add, as you probably know given your own comments, it's easy to say children don't remember their presents. But they do remember if they didn't get any (though maybe not at 2). That's why there are toy banks for disadvantages children. It does matter.

When my youngest was 2 she opened her dream present (a fire engine) and then became very distressed about opening anything else because in her head that meant giving up the fire engine. We had to leave most of the rest for Boxing Day.

I came here to say this - he's only 2 so WILL put things in his mouth and could easily choke.
Don't let a magical Christmas be a tragic one.

Buy your toddler a massive pile of crap if you want, you won't be alone. Bragging about it on MN is a strange choice.

When DD was that age, we made a sleigh out of an apple box from the supermarket. Every bloody day for about a month, everyone dragged her around in it “delivering presents” - giving us all her existing toys.

Our poor backs.

But the sort of Christmas thing toddlers like.

That is a lot for a 2 year old to process, he will probably get overwhelmed or bored half way through opening (I get it though, I've been guilty of doing the same thing so have personal experience of said bored & overwhelmed toddler)

Maybe keep some things back for his birthday or space gifts throughout the day? Well done on getting some great bargains though, mine are older now and the things they want are so expensive I've had to resort to Vinted for a lot of things.

OP you have done really well with your budget. As others have said some things are not appropriate yet. Especially the marbles.

Keeping the garden set till Easter is a great idea too.

When my DS was two my sis and BIL came to us for Xmas and they are big believers in the big pile. Their three children had a big pile each under the tree and I had felt I needed to do the same so DS had similar. It was horrible. DS was overwhelmed. Just wanted to play with a few things especially cars as he loved cars then. Nephew aged 4 and niece aged 3 just pulled parcels out, unwrapped, threw to one side and moved on to the next parcel. My parents were there as well and everyone felt really uncomfortable and sad. It was a frenzy of tat and young children being totally overwhelmed and I have to say spoilt.

We never had big piles growing up and I know that’s why my sister did it. But it’s not necessary. It really isn’t. Spread it all out a bit.

I wouldn't define "a proper Christmas" as one that is filled with material goods, most of which the toddler will play with for 5 minutes and then forget, but one that is filled with love.

My adult son quite literally had 2 toys - 2 cuddly animals - until he was three years old, because we were living in the middle of nowhere in a very LEDC country. Everything else he played with was found items from around the house, or sticks and mud in the garden. I could have written the book on 101 one things to do with a cardboard box. He's just fine.

A proper Christmas? What you’ve described just sounds like an over the top festival of materialism with some inappropriate presents thrown in for good measure. Ugh.

There’s nothing “magical” about “a massive pile” of presents. As PPs have said, experiences will make the day magical, not a huge number of gifts.

I assume you work hard for the money you earn. So don’t use that money to buy a tablet for a 2-year-old. As for the rest of the presents, why not put most of them aside for your son’s birthday and other special occasions? He’s unlikely to appreciate an overwhelming number of gifts on a single day. If you bring them out over time, he’ll probably get more out of them.

I don't think anyone is saying you are a bad mum but maybe it would be better to think about things differently

The above is what I would do.
I would keep the gardening set for Easter
No way would I give a 2 year old marbles!!

I hope you have a lovely Christmas

I think your child is going to be overwhelmed tbh. Good for you for looking for bargains, but I would put some things away to pull out later in the year when they will be much more appreciated.

A massive pile of presents is not what makes a “proper Christmas”. You have got your priorities all wrong.

In fact, too many presents can be overwhelming, especially for little children. What you already have is more than enough.

Christmas is about spending time together and enjoying the magic. That’s what kids remember, not a couple of extra 99p bouncy balls and other tat.

It's sad that people, myself included, have made op upset about all the items, because it's hard for them to focus on the one really big no no, which is a tablet for a 2 year old.
All mums short on immediate support need 10 minutes to themselves now and then. Not all mums see a tablet as literally the only way of achieving that. It's a parenting style, it's a choice, and we re saying it's a really damaging one.
The other stuff-plastic! sweets! breakable! dangerous! That's just us all being judgy.
But a tablet for a 2 year old? That's the worst parenting choice out of all of it. And the reason given is ridiculous.

I would do this too and OP , please , please do not give marbles- kids that age have been known to think they were sweets and end up with them stuck in airways and in A&E -

Beyond one big present and some chocolate I just get things they need day to day for Christmas but maybe just a little more interesting than normal supermarkets shop and wrap them. I still do this now they're 6 and 10. So instead of normal hand soap, bubble bath, sponges, flannels etc I get Christmas versions and wrap them. They need new lunch boxes and drinks bottles so I will get them slightly nicer than supermarkets own and I will wrap them. Both ready for new clothes as outgrown so they will just have to last until Christmas! They love ribena but its a treat as it cost so much so i will probably get them that too!! I hate just getting a load of bits for xmas to make up a pile. Its seems a bit spoilt.

I am made of money, I could spend stupid money on any new presents I saw, but that’s not what makes Xmas magical. Also, it might work for you for a few years (I hope you live in a large house as otherwise it’ll be a tip if you keep this up) but what happens when your child is older and you have set the precedent of a mountain of parcels under the tree?
You could have got it all for free and it would still be, objectively, too much.

You do seem to have bought quite a lot, regardless of budget, so possibly over the top but thats fine.

Are you wanting to buy more though for the social media photo you can post of the pile of presents or because you want child to have more?

The best Christmas our two ever had was when we’d just had a massive American fridge freezer delivered. The cardboard box, that was the size of a small shed was repurposed as all sorts, from a rocket to a submarine. Didn’t get chucked out till march if i remember correctly!
Mine would have just been overwhelmed and have lost interest after the first 5 or 6 unwrappings. I’d spread that number out over a few days OP, little kids often like the unwrapping as much as the gift.

I think it's lovely that you want Christmas to be magical for your lo (and buying second hand is fab, it saves money and is great for the environment... I get as much from marketplace and Vinted as I can).

But I'd be careful with the giant pile of gifts. Little kids can find it really overwhelming and it makes it harder for them to enjoy the stuff they unwrap.

Other magical touches might be more appreciated. You could do Santa footprints, a themed breakfast (mine loved snow man pancakes last year), and put festive music on for when they go downstairs?

“I’m not teaching him to be grabby I just want it to feel special. I know he wont remember but I will. Its one day.”

This is what people mean when they’re saying you’re doing it for you and not for him. In the kindest possible way, I agree with your sister that you already have more than enough.

I didn’t get a “pile” of presents at Christmas. We were really poor. However, I was loved, and I appreciated the small amount I did get and the other parts of Christmas that are special (the decorations, the dinner, family time etc). I have never felt the need to compensate for my sparse Christmases as a child, because I had what I needed and was loved. My guess is that your childhood was not necessarily so happy, and you are equating that with the size of the pile.

I am not saying this to be mean or unkind. I don’t think it will do you or your child any good to focus on the size of the pile at Christmas time as a means of determining how good or magical your Christmas is. It really isn’t about all that.

I got absolutely pilloried on here for describing the efforts I went to to get my son to sit in a high chair in a restaurant, but am proud that he now sits, chats and eats for about 40m, not a tablet in sight, age 2.

He was absolutely amazed that we got him a Gruffalo for his birthday a few weeks ago. He gave up after present 4, and the rest took weeks to come out.

OP - the best advice I'd say is that don't make YOUR Christmas wishes become HIS Christmas reality if he doesn't like it.

At 2, this is the last Christmas that he won't want a bit of a say in the type of Christmas you have. Next year he might not want your massive, massive pile of stuff. He might want one big thing a lot.