To think my 2 year old deserves a proper Christmas even if I’m on a budget

[ChooseNight]

So I’m trying to be organised and I’ve nearly done all my Xmas shopping already and I’m honestly quite proud of myself because I’m not made of money and I’ve got everything from charity shops pound stores or Facebook marketplace and I don’t see the point of spending stupid money on toys when you can get loads if you shop smart

So far for my 2 year old I’ve got

big plastic ride on digger from Facebook marketplace 8 pound
12 bath bombs shaped like Xmas trees
4 different tool sets (one has plastic nails and hammers and screws)
huge bag of sweets from Home Bargains
Crayons
Sticker book with 900 stickers
3 soft toys (Cocomelon lion and a random blue bear)
finger paints
playdough set
bubble machine
glow sticks (a whole tub only 3 pound)
one of those microphones that echo REALLY loud
sippy cup with dinosaurs
dinosaur slippers
pack of marbles
face paints
a kids gardening set
plastic tea set
light up bouncy ball
2 stocking fillers full of chocolate coins and candy canes
kids tablet case (I dont have the tablet yet but will get on payday)

All this only cost me about 42 pound altogether which I think is amazing. I still want to get him more for his stocking so maybe some tiny toys from the pound shop, they had bags of bouncy balls for 99p and also small party bag toys which I think he would like

My sister keeps saying I’m over doing it and that he won’t even remember Christmas but that’s not the point is it I want him to have a MASSIVE pile to open so it feels magical. I didn’t have that growing up and I want it to be different for him. I don’t get why people spend like 200 pound on one thing when I can get loads for cheaper

AIBU and should I get MORE or is this enough. I just want Christmas to be proper and special. I don’t think anyone can say I’m being stupid when I’m literally saving money. He will love it.

A tablet used in moderation likely won't harm him, and certainly won't kill him; a marble might if he chokes on it...

I don't disagree with any of this.

My point is that a 2yo doesn't need their own personal tablet.

EDIT TO ADD: When we went on holiday recently we downloaded some children's TV shows onto my tablet for our son to watch on the plane, etc. I'm not anti-tech, but as soon as we got home the tablet went back in the bedside draw.

He sees me and my partner using tech at home and as you say, will be getting exposure at nursery too, so he's not going to be aghast at the sight of an iPad or computer on his first day of school.

But equally I don't want the tablet to become a 'toy' for him to 'play with' when he would otherwise be happy reading books, colouring in or doing imaginative play.

I have worked in EYFS for decades now, I have never encountered a child that came into a setting who has not previously used any technology at home who struggled to pick it up immediately. The only exception to this I would say is using a mouse.

No child starts nursery or reception and is given an iPad and struggles to get to grips with what to do.

But there's really no difference between allowing a child to watch 20 minutes of CBeebies and allowing them to play an age appropriate game for 20 minutes. As I said, it's not all or nothing.

Surely you can see the difference between letting your child watch the family TV and giving them their own personal tablet?

Not at that age, no, because they'd be given it when I allowed it. It's really not difficult with a 2 year old.

This is a complete myth. Kids who use tech at home for entertainment don't have any advantage. As a teacher I figured that out during COVID. My teenage students, most of whom spent hours gaming and on various screens, didn't know how to send an email, create a word doc, type, use a mouse, open a pdf, figure out Microsoft Teams etc etc.

Knowing how to play video games and use Snapchat isn't useful preparation for using tech in academic or work situations. There are some good educational games online, sure, but they could also practice that offline so it doesn't give them an advantage.

I’m genuinely curious, what’s the benefit of a personal tablet for a 2yo?

If DS wants to watch something on CBeebies, I’ll either say yes or no. If it’s a yes, they can watch it on the family TV for a bit, then it’s switched off when it’s time to do something else.

At that age, I just don’t see why they’d need their own device. They’re still so impressionable and it feels unnecessary to introduce the idea of 'my tablet' so early on. We all know screen time needs to be managed carefully, so buying a personal device seems like it encourages more of it rather than less, especially when there are simpler ways to handle it.

Nor have I. My first memories of Xmas and presents are from when I was 4. I'm in my late 60s and back then, everyone got a "main" present (mine that year was a kiddy tricycle) and 2 or 3 small ones (I cannot remember what these were, but going forward they tended to be of the Beano annual, small toy and a selection box type).

As others say, what makes it "magical" is not a vast pile - it's thoughtful, age-appropriate gifts that he can play with and especially that you can join him in playing with.

PLEASE do not buy your child a tablet - these are really, really bad for young children to get addicted to.

A 2 year old is not going to be using Snapchat and any video games will be age appropriate, and for a very short time, not even every day.

I can't remember what I got, but like a pp, I remember the 'main present' but probably from age 3 upwards. I can remember what I got age 5, because it said 'To UpMyself from Dad and Mum' on it, and I thought 'But isn't it from Father Christmas?'

Children's tablets are easier to hold, sturdier, have built-in safety features, literally only have have child friendly apps on them. I wouldn't give a 2 year old my iPad.

"Likely" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.

But that’s not really the point I’m making. The issue for me isn’t how to make a tablet toddler-proof, it’s whether a 2yo needs a personal device at all.

At that age, I don’t think it’s about finding the right hardware; it’s about setting boundaries and habits. Giving them their own tablet, even if use is moderated and it's full of child friendly apps, still normalises individual screen ownership at a very early age, which is what I’m questioning.

Precisely for the reason I stated. I wouldn't want to give a 2 year old my iPad, but I can see the value of educational games.

I think it's sad that we are teaching children that Christmas is all about presents. Yes, some presents are great - a few small ones in a stocking in the morning, a main present and presents from friends and family under the tree, lovely. Great food, family and friends rounds, games, celebration, fun. But a huge pile of loot, especially for such a young child? It's too much.

I think we’ll probably have to agree to disagree on this one. There’s quite a bit of research showing that too much screen exposure at such a young age can affect attention span, language development and sleep, so I’d rather avoid introducing personal devices until they’re older.

And while I understand the appeal of 'educational' apps, there are so many brilliant non-screen options for that age - puzzles, building toys, card games, even simple role play - that support the same skills without any screen time at all.

So I do see where you’re coming from, but we just have very different views on what’s appropriate for small children.

Is 20 minutes not even every day too much exposure?

It’s not really about the minutes, which I think I've made clear - it’s about the message that having their own device sends at that age. We clearly see it differently, and that’s fine.

You haven’t spent a lot and most of your list sounds lovely. I have however found that my children all get overwhelmed at Christmas, and that actually there’s a sweet spot where they have a bundle of beautifully wrapped presents and crunchy stocking that makes them go ‘wow!!’, and that’s perfect- any more doesn’t add anything it just becomes too much.

I can remember having loads of presents as a kid and whilst I loved that initial rush, I always felt weirdly flat afterwards- like that’s that done then.

Everyone has different ideas about how to make Christmas magical, and I’ve been guilty of way too many presents when mine were younger. Completely understand why you want to compensate for what you feel you missed.

The things I adored (and remember) about childhood Christmas’s are nothing to do with gifts- they are things like a trip out to see Christmas lights all wrapped up warm, stirring the Christmas pudding and making a wish (I never actually ate any come the day!), helping my mum deliver cards to neighbours, a Christmas film, board games on Christmas Day. Not say you won’t do all that too when he’s older of course. Just don’t get too hung up on the presents, is all I’m saying. You sound like a lovely mum!

Sure, I didn't say otherwise. What I'm disputing is you saying that kids who use tech at home have an advantage when they start nursery (or at any age). It's just not true.

There is a huge difference.

For me, it is all, or nothing for a two year old.

You've got a lot of faith in parents. There are a scary number of toddlers and small children out there watching tablets for hours a day, every day.

At 2 he will be overwhelmed and overstimulated with that huge amount of presents. And won't family be getting him stuff too? That's waaaaay too much.

I am also on a tight budget. I get mine a book, a toy, and an outfit at Christmas. Things they want, and it also manages their expectations so they're not wanting every occasion to top the last. Christmas is more about decorating together, singing carols, baking biscuits, decorating the gingerbread house, visiting Santa's grotto, seeing the lights.