Having sex straight after baby

[hummous123]

I don't understand those who can be arsed.

Aibu

Edit - I don't mean straight away but generally. So tired, house is a rip, fat belly, body is tired, mind is tired. I just don't care if I don't have sex again

I wasn’t given a set time to wait, even after my very complicated c section, I was just told I could start again whenever I was ready.
I wasn’t pushed into it by DH(that is actually really insulting to both of us) he is however a very hands on dad who did his fair share and our eldest in particular was a really easy baby so we weren’t exhausted at all.

Same! Even with episiotomy and a tear they only recommended 2 weeks until stitches dissolved

Nope

Weird take.

Maybe some women ( gasp ) like sex?

Did I say they didn't?

Not really a weird take, I have several friends who have been pressured or gutted by their partners 🤷‍♀️. Weird you would assume these type of men don't exist

A gentleman would wait until after the placenta is delivered.

Never felt like it afterwards!

I breastfed, i always assumed that because that kills your fertility for a bit it probably went hand in hand with not fancying it.

I wonder if there's any correlation between being more keen for sex within a short time frame & not bf

Depends. First baby I had no interest for 6 months at least. After 2nd I was happy to after 6 weeks. YANBu though .

I would have jumped my husband 24 hours after birth both times. But obviously didn’t and waited six weeks.

Honestly those first few weeks were such a blur I couldn’t tell you what we did or didn’t do - not does it matter even a tiny bit now.

I think other than avoiding infection risks, individual couples need to do whatever they need to cope whether that’s avoiding each other entirely or getting it on 🤷‍♀️

I would have been up to it between 3 weeks - 2 months I reckon but husband never wanted it. Not while pregnant, not in early days of constant breastfeeding. I felt very hurt and rejected but can only assume it was some sort of Madonna complex? He couldn't see breastfeeding me as also wife me?

Guess we're all different. It literally took two hours to stitch me up after birth, so that took a bit of recovery.

But that's the point isn't it. It's different for everyone.

First two births were vaginal with a lot of bleeding and stitching, it was about 4 weeks.

Third birth was a c-section, easy recovery, two weeks.

There's no right or wrong.

No @Dibminoupqh what you said was that the women who had sex so soon after birth were pressured. It was a sweeping statement and it's bullshit.

First baby, episiotomy, vagina broken for 4 months. No sex for me and I was scared to try ever again! Had to have a smear to test it out first before I was brave enough.
second baby, home water birth, 2nd degree tear no stitches, vagina healed in 2-3 weeks (still waited the recommended 6 for sex though)

🤷‍♀️ the relationship board alone will tell you it's really common. If it's not you then there's no need to be offended is there 🤷‍♀️

Usually the ones so heavily protesting it's not the case are the ones lying to themselves

Where did you give birth? Because all UK, USA etc guidance is 6 weeks minimum

Not in the UK. Even the NHS says there’s no rules about when to have sex after giving birth and just warns women that you can be fertile as soon as 3 weeks after birth.

When you feel ready is what I was told both 3 years ago and 18 months ago when mine were born.

I’m in England. The NHS website doesn’t advise any particular set time just when you feel ready which is what I (and others on this post) were advised. My dc are between 9 and 15 so this was quite some time ago now but still seems be the same https://www.nhs.uk/baby/support-and-services/sex-and-contraception-after-birth/

YABU

A - to not clarify the time scale, because ‘not straight away but generally’ gives us fuck all to go on

B - because who cares if the house is messy in the context of having sex

C - one post and off you go

With my first Dc we had sex 9 days after my c section! Second dc was 2 weeks after, c section again.

That is because people who are happy don't post in the relationship boards complaining about things because they don't have issues. So the posts are the people who have issues and that's what you read. Should all the women who like sex with their partners post in the board? No, because they don't need advice. Not everyone's husband/partner is a massive controlling asshole.

I said YABU and that is to care what other people are doing.

It’s completely fine to not want to do it, it’s not fine to be rude about people that do want to.

@Dibminoupqh the relationship board is not a good example. Happy couples are not posting on the relationship board