Having sex straight after baby

[hummous123]

I don't understand those who can be arsed.

Aibu

Edit - I don't mean straight away but generally. So tired, house is a rip, fat belly, body is tired, mind is tired. I just don't care if I don't have sex again

I was advised as soon as I was ready no you must wait X time. That was all three of mine spread years apart.

Never ever been told or warned of an air embolism.

Now that remember, midwife told me light exercise only no power walking or major lifting etc because you’re at risk of haemorrhaging whilst your uterus is shrinking. So yes there is a recommended healing period and you do also bleed for about a month.

Every woman is different but I was 3 weeks PP with my first, 2 weeks with my second and 10 days with my third. All vaginal births if that matters.

if it doesn’t suit you, that’s fine but don’t judge those of us, who do 🙃

I did not bleed for anything like a month. Not everyone is the same.

Without being TMI; everything about it. Relaxing, good stress relief, easy-going (as long as it's not rough).

Ooh look a one post wonder op wanting us all to share about our sex lives.....

What do you mean ? Maybe you do not enjoy sex or are doing it wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️? I actually love having sex and hate going without it with my husband for anything longer than a week . We waited 2 weeks after the births ( c sections ) and honestly it felt to long .

It would be great if men also suffered with their bodies after the birth of their baby. My ex turned into a complete sex pest after I’d given birth. I had an awful labour, a bad tear that took months to heal properly, a breast abscess and PND. All he cared about was his dick getting some action.

That’s great for you. Yes I’m aware not everyone is the same but generally after heavy bleeding which can last for about 10 days you can bleed (amount will vary and reduce) for up to 6 weeks.

I genuinely believe the ones who do are pressured or guilted by their partners

I was told to have sex whenever I felt ready, I was never told to avoid sex for a certain amount of time.

Because people are interesting! Why would you not want to understand them?

I have a higher sex drive than dh full stop. He would have waited as long as i wanted. He was very worried about hurting me but to be blunt I wanted it and I wanted it now.

I wasn't. Some women have easier births, like sex and are happy to get back to it after a few weeks or so.

By week 4 /5 I was usually keen to do.

I have friends who are happy not to several months postpartum. That's their prerogative but I get the sense they never really enjoyed sex with their partners to begin with.

Those fortunate to be able to have orgasmic sex are happy to do once it's safe and they feel ready.

I think I read a book - possibly Empire of the Sun - where a man has sex with his wife very soon after the birth of their child. It really made me feel sick.
I have never re-read that book.

I always felt really close to my husband in the weeks after giving birth. I think with all 3 we had sex about 4 weeks after, there was no pressure from him. I was fortunate enough to have straight forward deliveries so that may have helped.

A max of 7 days each time for me

It just depends doesn't it. I think the main thing is to have support and a choice.
Men that are pushy about sex post partum should have something violent and painful done to their genitals and abdomen so they can be helped to reflect on the physical aspect of childbirth .....
I think the OP is having a hard time here. There is so much pressure on women to snap back / recover ASAP after having a baby.
There is also the aspect of fluctuating hormones and breastfeeding. It can all add up to less of a wish to be intimate potentially.

Hope you are OK OP and getting the support you need ❤️

OK. But that isn’t really what the OP is talking about, is it?

Or women could shock horror actually enjoy and want sex?

I bled for less than 48 hours after my forceps delivery, definitely no where near a month. We waited 3 months to have sex again though

Agree 7days to 2 weeks bleeding with each child.

Which is exactly why it should be down to each women. There is no hard fast rule about when you can feel ready to have sex.

Straight away, I could not think of anything worse.

By the end of week 3, it didn't seem such a bad idea.

Week 4 and 5 is was climbing the walls. Never have I wanted it more 😳. I did wait until week 6 but I can see why people don't.

I think seeing DH look after me and the baby like an absolute dream husband and father was part of it. He exceeds my highest expectations so that I get all the time I need NOT to be always tired emotionally or physically. That along with hormones perhaps, however it's been 18 months and I still have a ridiculously high libido compared to prebirth.

I guess the boring answer is, same as everything, everyone has different situations/support available and experiences. So you might struggle to see why some women would, whereas others might struggle to imagine how they would not want it.

It really depends on the birth. Not everyone feels like shit. I think as long as both parties are comfortable, it is their choice.