She's dying isn't she?

[McSteamyorMcdreamy]

Mum discharged herself from hospital today.

Hiatus hernia. She can't eat or drink anything. Literally throws it straight back up.

Can't walk because her lower back is buggered.

UTI in blood. Been given antibiotics but nothing seems to be giving her a boost.

Sat in a sodding chair for 36 hours at A&E. Not slept for at least 48. Said she just wanted to go home.

I'm really scared 😭

MNHQ EDIT to gently suggest that MNers new to this thread take the time to read through all of the OP's posts before answering

Take her to a different a&e
I really hope things improve 🙏

I don’t think the problem here is the wait time in A&E, more the time of getting a bed on a ward. Sounds like OP’s mum was seen by medics who started treatment & wanted her to stay in to wait for a bed, the issue is the bed capacity of the hospital to move her to a ward. So unless there’s another hospital close by that doesn’t have the same bed pressures (which I doubt) then she would have the same issue going back to A&E.

However OP, it does sound like she needs to be in hospital. With her back pain & UTI, it very much sounds like it’s travelled to her kidneys & she might need IV antibiotics to treat it. Unfortunately, the state of the NHS isn’t going to change anytime soon.

Sepsis! A UTI if not correctly treated can cause sepsis and without prompt treatment sepsis can kill!

UTIs in older people can cause changes in behaviour and hallucinations amongst other things, especially if she's also dehydrated. She should probably be on IV ABs and saline to rehydrate. She needs to go back to A&E.

Advocate for her and be insistent. If toileting is an issue at the moment because of her back pain, get her some incontinence pants, at the very least, she'll have a bit more dignity and confidence. If the back issues are causing the incontinence, meaning she's lost control of her bladder, that's a whole other medical issue and an emergency - so again - A&E is the best place.

“Sat in a sodding chair for 36 hours at A&E”

This is the state of our NHS, this is now what happens to you. Is she waiting for a consultant and possibly a bed OP? It’s scary and frightening and very uncomfortable but she must stay put if she can or she won’t he seen. She will have to start the process again. When DM was there people were slumped in chairs, elderly, frail people, younger ones (still 50’s) writhing and screaming in pain, one on the floor. It’s a horror. Your poor DM she will be ok if she can just stay there and be treated.
They should be giving her an antibiotic IV if she’s got an infection, I’d ask. Some things they’ll do before you see a consultant /get a bed.

Can the GP refer her to the medical assessment unit? It’s calmer than A&E but there’ll still be a long wait.

Speak to 111 or take her back.

If the bed situation is so dire then MAU will likely accept a patient but they'll ask them to wait to be seen in ED hence she's really in the same position. It's horrific but if there's no beds there's no beds. No getting around it. GPs cannot create a bed that isn't there.

It's the UTI. Makes people absolutely delirious. Get that fixed and you can deal with the rest.

Please get her back to hospital.

This happened to my Nan - she had a hiatus hernia and her stomach twisted after she got a tickly cough. They wouldn't operate and she died over 3 weeks in the hospital. It was awful and she was in so much pain.

3 days on a chair in A&E for an elderly lady who is in pain and poorly. What is wrong with our country!!

I have no words, I am so so sorry your mum felt like she had no way than to discharge herself to go home. Can you ring up a private/ online GP? Would be worth the money

It is really shit. The state of a&e is an abomination but she does need to go back unfortunately. If she can go armed with some things to make her more comfortable hopefully she can manage the wait.

I’m seeing the pressure on beds play out at home as well. My poor mum has been in hospital for 3 months and is in a far worse state than when she went in. Nursing care has been dire. Initially she was stuck in the AMU for 3/4 days where she for a stage 4 pressure sore through utter neglect. They then decided they were going to discharge her straight home with no care plan until I kicked up an almighty fuss. Everyone seems to agree with me it would have been dangerous so I have no idea how it became a serious consideration to just send her home.

The OP’s mum was vulnerable and in pain and still felt like she had to go home as couldn’t cope with the conditions. It’s easy for people to say ‘well she should have stayed’ but that is not easy in that environment and she won’t be the last person who can’t manage the a&e crapness despite being ill and needing care.

Actually your concerns could be valid. My late husband was diagnosed with the same- he also couldn’t swallow and kept being sick. It turned out to be something much much worse. Ask the doctors if it could be something other than the hernia.

OP why on earth did you leave her? I would phone 111 this morning and get her seen - she may need IV antibiotics to get into her system quicker. I used to work in a nursing home and UTI's would send people batshit crazy - not making any sense, confused and agitated. You could tell someone had one immediately. Discharging herself from A & E was very silly and the actions of someone with temporary incapacity.

Take her to see a different GP
Take her to OOO rather than A and E
Take her back to A and E and advocate for her
Take her to a different A and E and advocate for her
Make an appointment for her to see a Consultant privately (circa £300, depending on where you live)

It's very unlikely that she's dying but she IS ill and she DOES need constant support atm

I agree with this ^

She needs medical attention and to have an advocate with her constantly

If you’re in England, ring 111 and ask if they can refer you, or if you can do a self referral to your local Urgent Community Response (UCR). Explain your experience at A&E and that you don’t want to go back in if you can avoid it. They should be able to treat UTIs but unfortunately if there are other risk factors you still might end up in an ED.

I never understand this but UTIs affects the brain/symptoms of dementia so it’s essential that she takes antibiotics and gets more if it doesn’t clear.
Is she on HRT? If not she will get repeated UTIs so I would suggest she goes on a patch not tablets.

GP needs to come out to assess and refer her re her back and give her useful painkillers and sorts the UTI.
Im sure there will be better advice on here but I wouldn’t go the A&E route in future.
Good luck with it all, 67 is not old!!

No I know that, but A&E on a Friday night or any time is much worse. We just have rows of metal chairs fixed to the floor. When I was there, thankfully only once a man was urinating on the floor and touching himself, another was throwing up. I know where I’d rather be.

Totally agree with comments about nursing care in hospital, my mum’s care was very poor and at times neglectful despite me going in twice a day and chasing her care and referring it higher up the chain including managers. That was 15 years ago too! Once in a care home (I visited several before deciding) she got the proper care she deserved.

She’s not dying but she needs alternative means of receiving hydration and nutrition. She needs to NOT self discharge. Get her back in and make sure she stays there. She’s young and this can be sorted.

But she will be told to wait in A and E that's my point. There isn't really a back door. No GP can help other than to tell OP's mum to go back to A and E. Of she's this poorly then it's her only option. People are not realising this making ridiculous suggestions and just making it more complicated and delaying much needed care

Hope you can get your mum seen today OP. X

It can but at the moment she is getting treatment for the UTI.

It’s not a ridiculous suggestion- this is something that happened to my DM. We were ushered out of A&E.

I really don't know what you're saying and I'm going to give up after this post but take it from somebody who works for the NHS..

There is no back door out of A and E in these situations. If there was a bed you would be on it. If there was a ward that had the capacity to look after you you would be on it. Do you genuinely think that people who care for a living would leave you sat on a chair if there was any other choice?