I am feeling very much stuck in a rut lately. I have two children, 8 and 2. My 8 year old has special needs and is very demanding. My 2 year old doesn't sleep. I'm permanently exhausted and irritable. I feel like I've lost all sense of self as I have no time for myself. I have gained an awful amount of weight due to stress eating and not being able to leave the house a lot due to awkward school transport times and needing to be available for my 8 year old. Also it takes a long time to settle 2 year old for naps as they won't sleep alone.
I was saying to my mum that I wish I could go back to work and have something to focus on and that I am looking forward to my 2 year old starting nursery for 3 mornings a week so that I can have some time to go on walks and exercise and try to sort my weight and health out. She asked why I don't do this with my 2 year old already and I said because I am unfit and struggle with exercise so I don't like having to do it with a child climbing on me or on walks having to walk really slowly as they dont want to be in the pushchair or having to talk and entertain the whole way around. I am permanently tired, some times I just want to do these things alone without having to be in mum mode.
Anyway my mum told me that I should never have had kids as its awful I think like this and that I should want to do all these things with my children. She then made a comment about it being awful that I'm dumping my 2 year old in a nursery soon and that I'm a bad mum.
Do other people really do everything with their children with them? I grew up an only child with no extended family so I am used to spending most of my time alone so since having children it has been a big change for me to never get time alone and I have struggled with it but I thought most mum's put their children in a nursery to get a little time alone?