Stain on sofa I'm really cross

[Lotsnlotsoflove]

I have recently (in the last 6 months) moved into a new house and renovated it. I've been really pleased with the design and finish and I really enjoy being in this space I have carefully curated. Being in a nice space is important to me and this is my home. Recently, my MiL has come to live with us due to some difficult circumstances, including the death of my FiL. In general, she is helpful and no problem to have around. Anyway, the crux of this post is that today she managed to get a huge ink stain on my beautiful velvet sofa and it is not removable or a fixable stain. I am really upset, it has ruined the item of furniture, and we cannot afford to replace it. MiL is in tears, and DH is cross with me, saying I just need to suck it up, as it was an accident. MiL is not in a position to replace it either. I have told him I am going to buy another sofa on my credit card, and we won't have a holiday next year. Now we aren't speaking. AIBU?

Your MIL is more important than a sofa. She’s lost her husband.
It’s a bit upsetting sure, but there really are more important things OP.

I do, just honestly didn’t think of it as I have insurance for ‘big disasters’ and it didn’t occur to me this could be a claim, but will now make one. I can also see why the phrase ‘carefully curated’ is annoying. But I honestly have spent a really long time over the years sourcing and investing in things I am very (probably overly) attached to, it’s not like I just bought easily replaceable items from the high street was my point.

I didn’t ’push her to tears’ I told her not to worry about it, but she could also see I was upset.

She was using a pen with a fine liner tip to write something down and somehow left it without a lid on the sofa. She is old and going through a lot so I do know it was a genuine mistake and not in any way malicious. She is usually very courteous and respectful of the house.

My MiL hasn’t been involved in the conversations about replacing the sofa. She apologised and cried as soon as she saw it, as she could see I was upset. I told her not to worry and discussed replacing with my DH when she went out. She does not have the funds to replace herself. I have now calmed down and will call the manufacturer tomorrow to find out the cost of replacing the big cushion the stain is on and claim it in my insurance.

I accept this criticism. It does sound wanky. I work in the art world and the word ‘curated’ gets thrown about a lot.

Yes. Mil is genuinely having a hard time and it was an accident. She was genuinely mortified. I think this is a bit harsh. I overreacted and have now calmed down and will resolve this tomorrow probably by buying or claiming a new part on my insurance.

This actually not brand new - it’s something I had in our old home and is very practical but there are certain stains you cannot get out of it. This is one of them.

Sounds good OP. You got a shock, but sofa stains are small in the scheme of things.

Fair play OP, you have had a rethink and taken on the chin that you were BU.

A nod of approval from me.

Was just about to say this 😆.... although that might recreate the scene in Friends:
'I didn't sleep for a week after getting in on the sofa'
'Why didn't you just turn it over'
'I couldn't due to the huge spaghetti strain on the other side'

Problem solved OP - you have accidental damage cover. Just make an insurance claim.

Haha. Unfortunately it one of those long seat cushions with a different finish on top and bottom.

Does the cushion not turn over?

Just seen post above sorry

wow get a grip. Her husband has recently died and you are freaking out about a bloody sofa!

Bit harsh and personally I don’t do drama over a sofa.

You've 'lived through' a bereaved mil?
You make it sound as if that's worse than losing one's husband.
Good heavens; grief is not a character defect.

Off topic, I know, but I want to buy a velvet sofa; where did you get yours? Is it cotton velvet?
Agree about curated; influencers using big words, and the art world, which I'm half in, over using it for everything.

I wouldn't, sounds like it will tear your family apart 😂

Please be kind to yourself. It’s really upsetting when something you love is ruined. You’re allowed to feel that and to have recognised you over/reacted is great. I’m sure you are a lovely person. Having a parent come to live with you is a massive adjustment for everyone - especially if it’s an in-law. It just is.

No kids, no dogs, no mil!

I cannot believe a sofa is getting more sympathy than a woman whose just lost her husband and facing difficult circumstances.

Why are people so materialistic? It is a THING. Nobody has died, nobody is seriously ill. People are dying in the world and you are having a huge family drama over a sofa. @Mercurial123 is spot on

If professionals won’t touch it, have you tried to remove it yourself - maybe read reviews of some stain removing products on Amazon. Read about cleaning velvet. If you are at point of buying new than I would give it a go but just understand with stains the first go is the most important and it can set the stain - so choose best option you can see. We have a vax carpet cleaner we use to also cleaner sofas.

also have you looked at label to see manufacture maybe you can contact re replacing that section.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dr-Beckmann-Devils-particle-remover/dp/B0037RKENQ/ref=mpsa13?crid=2RAIQ0L4ZOL4A&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.GfM8SjYq8VIacOfKINqebu1Rfofux3ISKXL7pLq6b2XV3yElIzuGMBrNnRb9yBhGToSaENjQ9ZP7UWGpKKJ3uykAxCgNM6YjFtOYcdvLiIsXjjCxFDIr5LdWSmiLkXZh9nTCCwCqecSqQwbm3H-rWbUeX436DyjBMZMH0LPDzaEZuAtu33V25WYG3aBtwi5Phg9BFgyk9z4BxBAqXTQA.vSIyZnqF2yKCLQp5Xp05mgT7JIrMF7aPXcCI9oEdkx0&dibtag=se&keywords=velvet+ink+remover&qid=1762598438&rdc=1&sprefix=velvet+ink+remover%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-3

Glad to see you’ve realised you’ve lost the run of yourself, OP.

Poor MIL