Stain on sofa I'm really cross

[Lotsnlotsoflove]

I have recently (in the last 6 months) moved into a new house and renovated it. I've been really pleased with the design and finish and I really enjoy being in this space I have carefully curated. Being in a nice space is important to me and this is my home. Recently, my MiL has come to live with us due to some difficult circumstances, including the death of my FiL. In general, she is helpful and no problem to have around. Anyway, the crux of this post is that today she managed to get a huge ink stain on my beautiful velvet sofa and it is not removable or a fixable stain. I am really upset, it has ruined the item of furniture, and we cannot afford to replace it. MiL is in tears, and DH is cross with me, saying I just need to suck it up, as it was an accident. MiL is not in a position to replace it either. I have told him I am going to buy another sofa on my credit card, and we won't have a holiday next year. Now we aren't speaking. AIBU?

I would be upset but not to the extent of losing my holiday or not speaking to family. She feels bad - I would be very cross if she didn't. At the end of the day it's just a piece of furniture. Get a throw or a cushion. How must you poor mil feel - lost her husband and now sounds dependant on you for a home and you've made her feel like this. Calm down and get over it

Of course your poor MIL feels terrible. Not only has she stained your new sofa , she now feels responsible for ruining your holiday. Claim on your insurance like everyone else would
And yes carefully curated is a wanky expression.

The first time I had a new sofa ( still got it now ) ever...within a day my DD got hold of a permanent marker I don't even know where from and wrote on it.

There are so many different options before you get to replacing the whole fucking sofa and cancelling a holiday.

I get the the feeling that they wouldn't make your MIL feel bad enough though would they?

Abit harsh.
I understand why OP is upset but I agree that it needs to be put in perspective. A nice throw will cover it as an interim solution.
This is resolvable, several problems aren't

What a nasty person you sound.

You do have options OP.

Contact the company where you bought it, ask if you can get a replacement cushion if applicable.

Alternatively, there are companies who can repair and match furniture parts who could make a new matching cover or recover the area, it might be salvageable.

It's all a bit dramatic isn't it? Have you never even so much as dribbled something on your sofa? Too full coffee? Wobbly wine glass? Juggle that paprika crisp?

If it makes you feel any better, my husband has literally shat on our sofa....

Well his Ostomy bag exploded on it his first night back from hospital. Seeped through my sofa bed and the springs too. I'd feel blessed with some ink.

A sofa with non removable or washable covers is utterly useless.

How did she get ink on it in the first place ?

Nope clearly the option is to just throw the couch away and buy a whole new one. There are no other options.

Apparently.

I would also be a bit gutted but this is part my reasoning to buy second hand furniture only going forwards. There is too much replacing of things now, for not really a good reason. Also, if it’s not ‘perfect’ when you get it, you can relax more and just not lose it when one of the kids spills a drink or leaves a pen on it or whatever. I feel for you OP, but threatening not to have a holiday etc is just going to make you feel worse in the long run. It’s not really one of life’s big events is it?

Harsh and unkind

Don’t you have accidental damage cover on your home contents insurance?

@ErrolTheDragon l find velvet sofas easier to clean e.g. when our cat vomiting all over ours

Ok, did you take out any form of insurance/stain protection guarantee when you bought the sofa? If so, that’s your first port of call. If not, you’ll think twice about it next tim3, sometimes we have to learn lessons the hard way.

if you don’t have a stain protector guarantee….look at your contents insurance, you may be covered.

if insurance is not an option and it really can’t be cleaned (I bet it can), ask an upholsterer for a quote.

Taking on credit card debt and not talking to your partner is incredibly childish. It’s a sofa. You need to take a step back, take a deep breath and evaluate your response to this accidental damage, it’s not proportional.

When you get your replacement sofa you need to pay for a care plan. Most places will do 5 years and cover professional cleaning or replacement if necessary.

Have you tried professional cleaning?

People saying you are being a drama queen are being mean, so is your DH. I would be devastated as well and your DH should be looking for solutions and comforting you not making you feel bad. Of course you are upset!

@GingerPaste lm just being honest. When l damage or lose something then l make it right. I don't see why OP needs to run around resolving or suck up having a throw, she like me might hate throws

Accidents happen. It’s frustrating but no more than that. Surely you can have the cushions upholstered, if it really isn’t able to be removed (is it ink?). It doesn’t require buying a whole new sofa, that is OTT.

Ffs; if you can afford such a princely sofa that means so much to you, either you have scrimped on getting it stainguarded, or on your home insurance cover. From someone who also likes a pristine home as much as practicable, I appreciate that my family are priceless belongings - both human and animal, they come with dirt, dust spillages and breaks, but they are uninsurable because they are priceless. My cream sofa and beautiful furnishings, not so much.

You sound insufferable and controlling. A home is for living in and using not being curated which is a totally wanky phrase only wannabe influencers use. Your MIL is a bereaved woman and it’s not for you to dictate what you spend family money on like a despot.

YWNBU to be annoyed but you need to take a step back, give your head a wobble and buy a throw. Or some replacement covers.

You’re going to replace it on credit and not go on holiday next year? Are you serious? And what happens when there’s another stain?

Ah mate. It is just a sofa.

If its the seat pad you could get it recovered.

I feel sad for mil.

Life is too short to be crying over spilt ink. Buy a throw and move on.

Use Things. Love People.

Have it reupholstered. We've done that with ours and looks good as new