Stain on sofa I'm really cross

[Lotsnlotsoflove]

I have recently (in the last 6 months) moved into a new house and renovated it. I've been really pleased with the design and finish and I really enjoy being in this space I have carefully curated. Being in a nice space is important to me and this is my home. Recently, my MiL has come to live with us due to some difficult circumstances, including the death of my FiL. In general, she is helpful and no problem to have around. Anyway, the crux of this post is that today she managed to get a huge ink stain on my beautiful velvet sofa and it is not removable or a fixable stain. I am really upset, it has ruined the item of furniture, and we cannot afford to replace it. MiL is in tears, and DH is cross with me, saying I just need to suck it up, as it was an accident. MiL is not in a position to replace it either. I have told him I am going to buy another sofa on my credit card, and we won't have a holiday next year. Now we aren't speaking. AIBU?

Yes i would be silently fuming, but also, accidents happen.

Your MIL is in tears, give her a hug and tell her its ok

I agree with your husband it was presumably an accident and accidents happen. She's offered to pay to have it cleaned so it's not like she's just ignoring the issue. Suggest she buys a nice throw and draw a line under it. No one is perfect and being cross isn't going to help the situation, give the poor women a hug and tell her shit happens.

Is it on a section that could be patched by an upholsterer? For example if it’s on one arm only, could the manufacturer supply a fabric swatch to recover just that area?

Harder to clean than some of the alternatives?

Claim on your home insurance.

“Carefully curated” is the wankiest term I’ve ever heard. You’ve bought stuff you liked, that’s all.

Yanbu to be upset but unless your MIL spitefully rubbed ink on your sofa to piss you off then YABU.

Have you tried everything? I’ve got a velvet sofa and it is indestructible.

(edited, LIKED not KILLED, lol 😂)

I was like this with my John lewis garden sofas. But honestly it's better to care about stuff a lot less.It just sounds just an accident. I'd try not to make an old lady feel terrible about it
Thats what I'd suggest

YANBU to be upset about the stain
YABU to make an old lady feel terrible for an accident

Would it be possible to get a new seat cushion? or a couple of slightly different shade seat cushions made so it looks like a style choice

It’s new, call the shop and order a new cover, it’s probably still being sold.

I’d be annoyed too, that’s why I won’t have fabric sofas. I’d get a throw/cushions/ ban mil from using ink. Accidents happen though.

Have you thought about turnong the seat cushion over?

I actually feel sorry for MIL, if she is in tears. She won't have done it on purpose and will be feeling dreadful without being told off.
It's just a sofa. Annoying, hell yeah, but it's life, accidents happen.. (and I say that as someone who's banned her messy better half from eating/drinking on the new, very expensive sofa I treated us to, who I know eats and drinks on it when am not there!).

Absolutely agree the OP sounds ghastly

This.

I would be annoyed/upset but it’s not ok that your MIL is crying. Sounds like she is already in a bad place and now probably feels really alone and unwelcome.

And why don't you have content's insurance with accidental damage cover if your home is 'carefully curated'?

Presuming you don't as you are so upset.

This. I'm so thankful for my dark leather sofa. None of this kind of thing to stress over

I found hairspray great for getting ink out of clothes. Never tried on a sofa though

Another vote for your home insurance. If you have accident damage on your contents they'll replace it. Give your mil a break I think. It was an accident.

I do understand why you are upset.

But for your MIL it must be a very stark reminder she's not in her own home where I'm sure she'd like to be with her late husband.

Give yourself an hour to feel sad then paint on a smile and pretend you are over it.

In Deborah Devonshire's autobiography she describes a stay at Balmoral. She was writing a letter in her room and knocked a bottle of ink onto the floor. Appalled, she told a member of staff as she went down to dinner, apologising furiously. They told her not to worry and someone would look at it. When she returned to the room the stain was gone and nothing was ever mentioned.

Perhaps you could contact Balmoral house for tips.

How brave are you @Lotsnlotsoflove? You could try and remove it yourself.

surgical spirit (isopropyl alcohol (IPA)) is suggested online

check the care label first, (usually found on the underside of your sofa cushions).

How to get ink stains from velvet?

Ink stains can be tricky, but a mixture of rubbing alcohol and water can help. Gently dab the affected area with a cloth soaked in the solution. Make sure not to rub, as it can spread the stain. After cleaning, dry the area with a soft towel.

Worth a try, save a fortune on a new sofa?

Good luck.🍀

Honestly please just try and relax a bit, it was an accident not done on purpose. Yes it’s upsetting and it’s a natural reaction to be cross but take some time and think about it in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a material possession.

I grew up in home where everything had to perfect and I got screamed at for any accident like a cup being broken. I swore I would never be like my parents because they always made me feel like the absolute worst person for the most minor of things and whilst things getting broken or damaged here do upset me I just take the time to think it wasn’t malicious and it could happen to anyone.

Op try and find a way around it can you post it ?
Put a patch over it like you decorate clothes with I'm sure some clever arty people could help you out .