Has anyone been bullied for having a teen mum?

[Vixxyvixen]

Has anyone been bullied because their mother was in her mid teens when they were born? In a class of 30 are there likely to be many others with mums that young?

Never been an issue for DS1. It's me who gets surprised comments rather than him. His friends/classmates don't really care who someone's parents are. "Your mum" jokes are not about the actual mum (despite inbetweeners!)

I had him at age 20 and have been out of step with other parents at every stage. Been mistaken for his sibling, a nanny, etc. I had DS2 and 3 at age 30/33 and felt totally normal.

Oh yes it’s the other parents that are often problem. I’ve found that some people are very chippy and insecure about parental age, and young parents really bear the brunt of that. I’ve also had a lot of “you are so lucky” comments later in life coming out the other side of the tricky elements of it, once you’ve ticked those other boxes of home ownership, career, marriage etc you are in the same position, but younger.

I can remember at primary school being very pleased that I had one of the youngest mums. DM was 24 when she had me.

I think adults are more judgemental about this than children are.

From the age of 16-19 all the snide comments went straight over my head I didn’t even think I was that young because I’d seen the documentaries on tv/news stories about 13 year olds having babies and thought that was way more common than it actually is. When dc started nursery and I saw the same parents every day and had to talk to them was when I realised.
looking at old photos of me when I was pregnant I looked super young even younger than I was god only knows what people thought when they saw me

I don’t think this is something kids really bully for, I wasn’t a teen mum but had my first at 22 last at 28. My mum had me at 35 and I must admit I was very envious of my friends who had much younger mums I think a lot of teens would prefer a younger mum? My mum was 50 when I was a teen but most of my friends mums were younger.

I was a Mum at 19 and was the youngest Mum in my eldest dc class. It was never a problem. Some girls said your Mum looks so young (Ias a positive comment) and he said yes she does and that was it.

They tried but I knew they were jealous because my mum was so gorgeous and wore lovely clothes and took me to concerts etc. I felt sorry for them all with their old boring parents 😂

I was a nanny for a while in my 20’s and looked younger, people assumed the child or children were mine and I got a few tuts and comments about “teenage mums” but always from older people. Children wouldn’t bat an eyelid though, as other said, all grownups look ancient to them.

My best friend, her mum was a teen mum. Well pre teen, she was 12 when she had her. Was no issue to any of us when growing up. We found it pretty cool at the time.

Why??

I think that some kids get bullied for anything - the size of their shoe, the colour of their jacket etc. It's shit, but it's not on you.

DD's BFF's parents were 19 when they had her. friend hasn't had any issues although the friendship group do like to discuss how big he potential gap between her and any future siblings might land up being! Mostly because they're jealous because none of the other parents are even vaguelly considering a new baby (they're all 10).

the mum did tell me that she found the first few years quite difficult and SHE felt very self conscious at school events etc, and she had some issues where she felt the school didn't always take her that seriously. But I think that was a mix of genuinely happening and her being self conscious.

I'm actually one of the older mum's in DD's year group becuase I was a bit older when I started and there's a big gap between DD and DS, and DH is even older and is fully grey. So DS got a bit of teasing for that, but I don't think ti was major.

With BFF's mum we are friendly and have been out a few times and I like her a lot. But we're never going to be BFF becuase the gap is just too significant in terms of life experience etc. DD finds it hilarious that me, and even more so DH, could be BFF's grandparents!

I think if kids are going to get bullied, they’re going to get bullied.
Bullies choose someone vulnerable and then zero in on ways to single them out.
This can be anything and there’s not much you can do to prevent it unfortunately.
You can have two or more kids in a class in very similar situations or with the same attribute (red hair for example) and only one gets bullied for it.

Personally, my mum was a teen mother and I never got bullied for it or got any negative comments.
Never got any comments about anyone fancying my parents either and certainly no one thought they were cool or anything like that.
Sometimes my friends envied me because they were very permissive compared to their own parents, but in reality my parents just hadn’t a clue what they were doing and they were actually negligent.
In general, I don’t think kids notice parents as much as you’d think.

No but a friend was bullied because her mum was a older mum. Some kids can be horrible.

I guess the opposite is also the same - I’ll be 43 when my youngest starts reception. Before kids I thought it wouldn’t be an issue (I was very young looking, was being id’d until my thirties) but now all the sleepless nights have caught up with me I look and feel my age.

I had just turned 17 when I had my son and I’m only 5ft so always looked even younger than I was. My son was never bullied for it as kids just seen to think all parents are old. I was often mistaken for a student by teachers though as my son got older (14-17, at things like open days etc). By that point I was confident enough to take it as a compliment. I wish I’d had that confidence when I was younger and just held my head up high. How good a parent you are has nothing to do with your age. Ignore any judgement you might get and know that you are doing an amazing job!

I’m 5ft too dc was playing with a little boy at the park the other day and after staring at me for a few seconds he says “you look extremely young like you could be 12” lol that would mean having dc when I was 4.
I assumed his own mother must be much older but when I finally saw her I thought she looked like she could be my age (although I know it’s unlikely, she’s probably just good looking in her 30s) anyway she was a fair bit taller than me, so I think heights a big part of it (napoleon syndrome? 😂)

I don’t know anybody who was a teenage mother, apart from when I was at school and a girl got pregnant at 14. She had to leave school and I remember one of the teachers accidentally calling her name out in registration. She then said ‘Oh X is no longer here is she? And we all know what happened to her.’ To be honest she never came back to school, and none of us ever saw her again. I have no idea what happened to her.
Just thinking, another girl got pregnant at 17 which was still scandalous. She married the father and they are still together and grandparents now.
To young children all adults are old. I don’t think they can differentiate between old or young.

Must of been a while ago if they’re grandparents now which surprises me you knew so few I was led to believe everyone settled down young back in the day

Well she had a child and then her child had a child when they were a teenager. So the woman I knew was a grandma at 36 ish. I knew her mother too and bumped into her when I was pregnant. She was upset that she was going to be a great grandmother at a very young age. My mum was going to be made a grandma at the same time if that makes sense. When I say upset she was saying she was felt far too young to be a great grandma. For context her other child was in their 40s when they had their first child and was a lot younger than the oldest child. So a mixed bag of ages.
Sorry getting a bit confusing now!

There was a very young mum at our sons last primary school, she was in year eight when she had her little boy, so late 12/early 13. She was in her first year of college when he started school, as far as I’m aware he wasn’t subjected to any bullying. But a lot of the school gate parents were really really awful to her and about her. That in turn had an impact on him being invited to parties etc.

That’s insanely young she must of been abused poor girl terrible the school parents would treat her like that

My son had questions like why does your sister drop you at school. I was 18yr 2 mths when I had him but was a size 6/8 5ft and had a baby face was Id till I got to 30 as was short and looked so young. Once he explained they didn't care. In my day I was teased for no dad on the scene but most class mates thought it was cool to have a younger mum.

It is rare that a teen Mum is a teen when the child goes to school (a 16 year old would typically be 20 by the time their child goes to school) and small kids think even older teenagers are old so by the time the kids get old enough to realise everyone is an adult.

There would definitely have been more teen Mums in my day but to us kids they were old.

I know you don’t want to hear this but to your child’s peer you are old just like the rest of us oldies.

Total mix of parents at my kids state inner city primary- including teen parents. Never heard of any bullying for parents ages, or heights. It became more 'noticeable' if grandparents ever collected... Some in 70-80s, some in 40-50s,....