please can someone tell me who's being weird here!

[wigparty]

I posted a while back (have name changed since I think) about DP's attitude to food (washing pre-packed lettuce to be specific!).

We went away last weekend on Saturday afternoon and came back on Sunday afternoon. Before we left, we made a jug of real coffee and left the jug in kitchen overnight.

When we came back, I poured out the rest of the coffee, added milk, and, before putting it in the microwave to heat, I took a small sip as the mug was very full. DP shouted in amazement and looked totally horrified. He started ranting about 'don't you know the germs you'll have picked up from doing that'

I then mentioned that - funny that - it was him and most of our friends who came down with a stomach virus a week earlier, but I breezed through without catching anything, despite the fact this virus is apparently highly contagious.

This is messing with my head! I keep the house clean and I really don't think I'm unhygenic, but he's making me doubt myself...

Am i being unreasonable paranoid?

It depends on to what level it controls someones life. If they spend their whole life considering everything is dirty and avoiding situations or things that are dirty then it is a problem. I do not believe that anyone could say that rushing to the shower because an insect landed on their shoulder comes down to a matter of opinion. It is excessive.

I'm about half way in between the two of you so I guess you both seem wrong to me. I do think as someone said that the little things suddenly become very important when stressed. I've noticed that in myself. You probably do need to talk about it. I just thought medical help was a bit OTT.

Is the insect thing just about being dirty or is that a seperate phobia? lots of people have those.

I think (if I understand Wigparty's post right) that you are mixing two things up. Wigparty freaked out when a beetle landed on her, her partner removed it for her, he then asked if she wanted a shower. It had landed on her t-shirt and not even touched her skin, even if bugs were dirty.

Have you ever lived with OCD? It is far more than just about being clean, not eating food past it's date etc. It is disabling and has a big effect on those around you. I don't have the cleaning version (though there are a few in my family) but it still has a major impact on my life.

Brilliant, thanks TBM. I'll definitely look at the link this evening.

You did understand my post right by the way, I freaked out, he took it off me.

Greyriver, it's very interesting to hear people's views but I still think his reactions are on the side of extreme.

(I'm also not in the habit of picking up a sandwich off the road and eating it!)

I think there is a scale of what could be considered normal and reasonable, and what couldn't. I guess me and DP are pretty different, although I definitely wouldn't say I'm in the 'unhygienic category', far from it.

Pembslass, I think I have a 'normal' attitude to hygiene and like you have hardly had a lurgy or bug in the past few years.

TBM it's been really interesting to hear about things from your point of view. Does the fact you know it can be made worse by stress make it more manageable to deal with then?

well tis true that there may be loads of germs BUT you will be immune to them of course!!

I didn't get a diagnosis until the end of last year, because I don't have the cleaning thing and most of it is internalised no one realised. Even I didn't know that's what the weird things I do are because all you hear about OCD are the cleaning and lock checking as though if you haven't got those you don't have it.

I have PNI and I'm not sure if the feelings I had about Tink were what made me do something or the PNI had made it worse.

Oh I remember that thread about the bagged lettuice! I only washed it whilst I was pregnant, since then and before I am happy to eat it out the bag! I think he is a little bit over the top, however, I would eat off the floor so I'm probably not the best judge! My dh is a little more cautious and tends to look down on me when I eat the malteser I dropped on the living room floor. I don't care though, just laugh it off!

You're right. I should just shrug it off, but I am worried about DP as if it is an issue, then he may be troubled by it. But, I want to try and stop his attitude from making me paranoid.

Hmmm, well the cold coffee heating will continue and I'm reformed on the lettuce so I think that's a good compromise for now

Thanks all

....may I refer you all to an acknowledged expert in this field. Ms Poly Styrene

If you're going to wash lettuce why pay a fortune to have prewashed bagged lettuce? Why not buy ordinary lettuce and wash it?

And whilst we're not on the subject, why buy lettuce at all? It doesn't taste of anything and has negligable vitamins, minerals or fibre. Have a tomato instead.

Thats my contribuion.

Well I really think, given your name kew, you should be promoting the cucumber surely??

Have a tomato cucumber instead

I'm a bit like your DH tbh...

I wash pre-packed lettuce too and I wouldn't dare eat ANY food that is out of date. In fact I'm a bit iffy about eating it if it is even coming up to close to it 'best before' date.