please can someone tell me who's being weird here!

[wigparty]

I posted a while back (have name changed since I think) about DP's attitude to food (washing pre-packed lettuce to be specific!).

We went away last weekend on Saturday afternoon and came back on Sunday afternoon. Before we left, we made a jug of real coffee and left the jug in kitchen overnight.

When we came back, I poured out the rest of the coffee, added milk, and, before putting it in the microwave to heat, I took a small sip as the mug was very full. DP shouted in amazement and looked totally horrified. He started ranting about 'don't you know the germs you'll have picked up from doing that'

I then mentioned that - funny that - it was him and most of our friends who came down with a stomach virus a week earlier, but I breezed through without catching anything, despite the fact this virus is apparently highly contagious.

This is messing with my head! I keep the house clean and I really don't think I'm unhygenic, but he's making me doubt myself...

Am i being unreasonable paranoid?

beautiful - 'I could eat the bin and live' would be a great slogan on t shirt - suggest it to the thread debating whether 'Daddy wanted a Blow job and Got me' on a sleepsuit is ok

I wouldn't touch the stuff with a bargepole (boak at microwaved milk) but it would be quite safe.

Seems totall over the top - did you explain that is why you have an immune system?

Yum microwaved milky coffee, it tastes like the coffee I used to get from my local trucker-type caff!!

He hasn't got OCD has he? - a relative of mine has and tis always difficult to know what to do when she starts freaking out about germs. On last visit was bringing in shopping for her and put plastic bags on ground by front door (outside but perfectly normal not mucky that I could see). She started shrieking about it and then went nuts when I carried them in an put them on a work surface (that wasn't clean to start with). Obviously would clean work surface after removing bags but still (or AIBU?). She goes completely bananas if anyone you've come into contact with have had any sort of bug and during one of periodic bird-flu scares would not go to town library as lots of students who might be infected!! This is a more reasonable turn - never know whether to go along with it for easy life - actually I do know, thats exactly what I do.

oops didn't see you'd already done the OCD malarkey. Still gave me a chance fora good moan

that definitely sounds like OCD stickbun, and serious anxiety.

I keep thinking it isn't with DP, but then think it must be as he is so odd about things. Tbh, I don't know an awful lot about OCD, and whether it can show itself in a very limited area (ie. happy to work in a far from clean environment (his office) but freaks when I sip cold coffee?!). I guess he could have OCD specifically about food germs?

What do I do about that though? Do I just carry on as normal or go through the motions of being as exacting as he is to make him happy? (I mean happy as in not anxious, the last thing I'd want to do is add to his anxiety if it is an OCD).

You should wash all food that can be washed (veg, fruit, meat, etc). Places that are supposed to have major hygeine rules and guidelines are often the worst places to produce, prepare or package food.

As for leaving coffee overnight then drinking it. Coffee fungus is present in all coffee, that's what gives it it's flavour (varies according to the region the bean comes from). Ground coffee beans begin to go stale within two days of being ground. Coffee has a unique residue that if, left becomes sticky and contaminates whatever it touches. Leave coffee to sit overnight and this residue (the coffee oils) become stale, and allows the existing fungus to begin developing and become toxic, The strength of the fungus varies according to blend - so in a way, your DH is right.

but I'm still alive - prrrrrrrraiiiiise be!!!

Wig - People are gonna be grossed out by some things like that. I don't see the problem and some other people won't either.

I think that your DP is just OTT about things normal (IYKWIM) would just cringe about inside.

Thanks LuckySalem, am off now as I have to wash all our windows in vinegar!!

Stella, have to clarify this before I go...

We had some day old BLACK coffee (real coffee that was left over in the jug). I added milk to it (from the fridge) and then put it into the microwave to heat up...cue total fit from DP...curtain down

Ranting and shouting is a bit OTT but bleurggh at drinking yesterday's coffee. Sort of thing my dh would do, though. And he never comes down with bugs and food poisoning, it's always me!

(Washing meat is a new one on me, is it really a good idea?!)

I could bury my whole face in a tin of ground coffee, I LOVE the smell!!

Really off to clean windows now before it gets dark, a germ-free household's woman's work is never done!

Drinking the coffee sounds OK to me, although it may have tasted a bit erm aged!

How I was brought up, was eat anything unless it is obviously off. i.e. out of date stuff, mouldy cheese (cut mould off), well old tins etc etc. Your nose will soon tell you if something shouldn't be eaten (but I make an exception for shellfish - that is a different matter).

There is an argument that we throw too much good food away because we look at best before dates and don't trust our senses any more. And are too "sterile" about everything when we need to be exposed to some germs.

Maybe find DH some research or something to read about when things are actually dangerous as opposed to having paranoia about "germs". If he understands about how bacteria, refrigeration, action of boiling etc affect bacteria and how they suppress activity and for how long, he may calm down.

Good luck with getting some germs into your DC - sneak them in when he's not looking (boggles imagination!!!)

Chukky - That's how I cope with things. DP is complete opposite. Went nuts the other day cos I cooked Belly Pork when it had been open for 3 days. (recoverd) was fine to me and never had any problems with it.

I think it is today's way of life that says we can get ill from everything.

Wigparty - from interweb research think appropriate response to OCD is supposed to be that you don't go along with weird controlling behaviour (like if they try to make you wash your hands loads or do rituals) but don't have to get in their face about it either. I try to keep my voice level and carry on as normal. What I wrote was understatement and process made me realise how far from 'well' she is - which in a weird way is something to thank you for as am probably in denial about it most of time as less upsetting. So ta

I just cook it all up and if DH squeaks "oh is that the leek that's been in the fridge for 6 weeks and the chicken from the roast last week" I just give him a look.

He is subsequently always delighted by the curry he gets dished up later. Or possibly a v good actor. Suffice to say he is neither thin, nor dead.

The easiest thing I find is if something is particularly manky, shufty it in when the germ fanatic/squeamish person is not looking.

Good luck wiggy!!

I've been trying to find a link for you but not doing too well. I haven't read all the replies but he sounds like he could have OCD. The link I was trying to find was for an OCD test that can either be taken personally or by a close relative.

I'll post it if I find it.

Feeling v flippant, sorry op, but I have found that men who are staggered at any lack of scrupulous attention to the kitchen are more than happy to, at bedtime, offer you something less than clean to put in your mouth. Does he whip out the hygenic wipes at these moments?!!

I have "odd" standards when it comes to out of date food. Meat, fish etc I am very cautious with, and go by the date.

I once attended a food hygiene course (for work purposes!) and we were informed that it is impossible to tell if some things are "off" by smell alone.

Yogurts, milk etc I will eat a day or 2 over the date, no problem.

I won't buy any "ready bleached salad" just don't like it.

oh my god, funny funny!!! That's a whole new post Chukky!!

Tinkerbellsmum, that would be great if you could find a link, but don't worry if you can't I can find something on the net (I probably haven't been looking too hard on purpose!)

Sticky - hope you can find some way to be with your relative, that really does sound hard

Windows are now clean enough for DP to eat his dinner off

Thanks guys for the input (except for anyone who thinks I'm an unhygenic freak ... joke!)