20yo DD was home alone- 2 Proovia delivery came into house and stood over her until she transferred £60 into their own bank account- raging at response

[fanothetan]

Delivery came significantly earlier than agreed, and these men were angry that I had not answered the phone. I work in CAMHS and never take my phone into clinics- . beside the point anyway, I had no reason to think I needed to.
DD knew nothing about the delivery so totally blindsided by how they were behaving. From their demeanour she assumed I had messed up. They brought the item upstairs (I’m third floor) came into the hall and demanded £60 because they had been paid to deliver to the first floor. True, but would not have been an issue if the delivery has arrived at the agreed time. They stood over her while she transferred it on her phone. Understandably she felt scared and did not argue with them, which was the right thing to do.
The response feels like a parody. I phoned and repeatedly ‘corrected’ with variations on ‘your adult daughter’ ‘yes, but she is an adult’. The initial reply to an email was a bald ‘the transaction was cancelled by you’. This was untrue and anyway are either of these responses the point?
After providing evidence and much to-ing and fro-ing there’s no dispute this happened and they say the driver no longe works for them. Having said they would refund the money, they are now saying they won’t, and asking why it’s taken so long to request a refund. Now it’s only £60 and hones, I honestly could not care less, but it speaks volumes and makes me extremely skeptical that any action was taken by them to address this.
The question is can I do anything? I have one of their full names from the bank transfer and their phone number from the repeated phone calls. Taking it to the police seems trivial if it’s about £60 but it’s not, it’s about grown men intimidating a 20 year old girl in her own home. It’s about an employer who clearly give no fucks at all about this and is happy to prevaricate and hand out platitudes rather than respond appropriately.

AIBU to not just suck it up and accept this is how things are? Or should I post the entire email thread which would be hilarious were it not so totally enraging? If there is a constructive way to get this addressed I might be spared an ulcer.

The sodding job was to deliver it to the first floor, not to demand an EXTRA £60 INTO THEIR PERSONAL BAMK ACCOUNTS for varying it up extra stairs.

Hmm...
I’m not entirely sure about this, OP. The story feels a little too convenient in places.

FWIW, my concern is less with the delivery team and more with the situation your daughter was placed in (by you). Most people are aware of how deliveries work, especially for large items that require two or more people to carry. A time slot is always given, and yes, they can arrive early, late, or bang on time.

Leaving the timing aside, I’m surprised you didn’t think to keep your phone on hand that day, even just in case. It’s the kind of precaution most of us take because you never know. Similarly, giving your daughter a heads-up about the delivery would have been a sensible and useful thing to do. Again, you never know (as we've seen).

Also, it seems you opted not to pay the extra fee for delivery up to your third-floor flat, which meant the item was supposed to be left at ground level. From the delivery team’s perspective, how could they be sure that your daughter wasn't the one who arranged the delivery, changed her mind about where she wanted it delivered, and now owed them £60 for the change in delivery agreement? Even if she said she wasn’t, they had no way of knowing for sure as she's legally an adult.

Of course delivery staff don’t typically insist on payment before completing the delivery. They’re expected to bring the item to the agreed room/floor first. So no, they wouldn't have insisted on the extra payment before delivering to your 3rd floor flat. That would have been unprofessional.

It’s possible they’ve encountered situations where customers tried to avoid charges, which might explain why they insisted on payment, which they're entitled to by the way. It's not really their fault that you didn't make proper plans for this delivery.

As I said, I feel for your daughter. It must have been frightening just having to handle something you failed to prepare her for. The way this unfolded suggests she was caught in the middle of a plan that wasn’t fully thought through. I can see how the “intimidated by two men” angle could be used to strengthen a refund claim but the company may be well within their rights here.

@SleepingStandingUp I don’t understand why they didn’t leave it on the first floor either. Presumably someone opened the main tenement door for them and then they came upstairs looking for the third floor flat?
I suppose they needed a signature for the delivery, but if their instructions said deliver to the first floor…

Well exqctlym. One could have stayed with the table and one could have come up and knocked the door and said "delivery didn't mention it was up three flights, it's £20 a flight, what do you want us to do?". And even then it definitely should go through the books, not into their personal banks.

And they were already angry op hadn't answered her phone, despite the issue being THEIR time keeping.

But according to many on this thread, it can't possibly be the vile mens fault, they have every right to act aggressively to a lone woman to extory money from her.

If a delivery is planned between say 2-6, then it isn't ops fault if it comes at 10 and no one is there. As it was, someone was fortunately. Having realised the floors didn't match up, someone could have walked up the stairs and spoken politely to the daughter to explain it's extra for stairs and where did she want it leaving.

As for "it doesn't matter that you're a psychologist possibly in meetings with vulnerable children you should always have your phone on you", no. Not every job means you can be available to just step out and take a none urgent call.

I honestly would tell her not to answer the door to anyone, and that is the advice I would give any woman home alone. I dont care how many of the clowns on this thread pretend this is an overreaction.

How are those of us who live alone meant to live if we can never have deliveries? I sometimes get things delivered because I can't carry them by myself, and, living alone, I don't have someone else to ask.
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I hope you get some useful follow-up, OP. If they didn't tell her that going to the third floor involved an extra payment before they moved it, then they weren't giving her the choice to say no because of the payment. They might have assumed she knew because of their Ts&Cs, but it would have not done them any harm (if behaving honestly) to give a reminder and double check she was okay with it.

As for "it doesn't matter that you're a psychologist possibly in meetings with vulnerable children you should always have your phone on you", no. Not every job means you can be available to just step out and take a none urgent call.

This. I'm not allowed my phone in my office area. It's kept in a locker outside. I can pick up messages at breaks, and if I know someone is going to call at 10am, I can arrange to be available for that, but if it's a vague, "we'll call a couple of hours before," I probably can't answer.

If I was seeing someone like a psychologist, I'd probably not be happy to have my session interrupted by a call about a delivery, either.

She said 3rd floor so presumably once the daughter opened the door expecting to just be accepting a delivery she then found herself alone in a hallway with 2 men demanding money.. I think many women of any age would feel intimidated in that situation, nevermind a 20 year old.

the delivery was paid to the first floor, which would have been fine had they arrived at the agreed time. I had no reason to look into a scenario I had no reason to anticipate. Even if they were early, the messages sent (which I didn’t pick up so irrelevant really) said I if they could not contact me, they would rearrange delivery. Pretty sure it doesn’t say ‘delivery payments to be made subject to hareassment and intimidation, paid onto a random personal bank account’.

Really? ‘My not sure age is even particularly relevant here. I take it It’s the fact she felt scared by this that is blown out of proportion?
Yup, another of the ‘women can’t take a joke brigade? Woman left in fear, her fault for letting it happen. How about men stop casually using aggression and expecting everyone else to comply with what suits them?

Quite the well thought out response to something they never anticipated happening. Bravo!

And wait how long while they have the run of the house? She would not have had access to the main door buzzer to let them in, nor could she rely on neighbours answering- we are 1 of 4 flats.

She did not know about the delivery because we would have been home at the agreed time. No partcylar reason for this, just hadn’t seen her, and didn’t think it relevant.
They brought it into the house, then demanded the money. She was not aware there was any extra charge until then.

We can only be responsible for our own behaviour at the time. I wasn't there, neither were you, however your daughter was intimidated. A more confident person may have insisted on checking with you or the company first before paying up.

My suggestion was should she be in such a situation in future, to get on the phone with yourself or a friend to hear the conversation for her backup/protection.

As someone said, the men can't help their build, besides small men can be equally intimidating.

They very certainly CAN stand back and not stand over her though. And of course they definitely knew they were doing this, not a chance they'd have attempted it with a large bloke.

YANBU, OP. I'd be fucking livid and would be getting the police involved.

Indeed. Two men intimidated your daughter into paying money at home when delivering goods. It doesn't matter how confident she is or whether 13 or 53, their actions were wrong and appalling.

Jesus Christ. Once again.
There was an agreed time, they arrived well before this. Even if I had read the messages, they said they would rearrange the delivery if they could not contact me. This would have been fine. Instead they delivered early.

As I said, I was doing clinics and don’t take my phone in for obvious reasons. They were phoning my phone, the person who had arranged delivery. Had they needs to establish she was that person, they could have phoned her while she was there.

the plan was fully thought through-and would have been entirely unproblematic had they arrived within the severbal hous long slot agreed.

She’s 20. We don’t have weekly planning meetings. She treats the house like a hotel, as indeed she should given her age. Also, I tend to avoid asking her to do things because I can’t be arsed it’s usually treated like some massive imposition Again, age and stage appropriate but best avoided.

Can’t see how the demanding money into a personal bank account is justified.

So what would you have done? They were already in the house, then demanded the money.

They brought it up the stairs and into the house before they demanded the money

Thank you. I hadn’t thought about the local council.

Once again…. They brought it upstairs then told her about the extra charge when they were in the house.

According to you who was not there they 'demanded' the money, if the situation was video recorded and played back on here how many would see they asked for the money or they ''demanded'' it

I agree that what they did was wrong and intimidating but I just don't understand why she couldn't have gone downstairs to pick the package up as you would have if you were there.

the job would have been as agreed had they arrived when arranged. They knew they were early and the messages sent (which I didn’t pick up) said they would deliver another day. That would have been fine.