20yo DD was home alone- 2 Proovia delivery came into house and stood over her until she transferred £60 into their own bank account- raging at response

[fanothetan]

Delivery came significantly earlier than agreed, and these men were angry that I had not answered the phone. I work in CAMHS and never take my phone into clinics- . beside the point anyway, I had no reason to think I needed to.
DD knew nothing about the delivery so totally blindsided by how they were behaving. From their demeanour she assumed I had messed up. They brought the item upstairs (I’m third floor) came into the hall and demanded £60 because they had been paid to deliver to the first floor. True, but would not have been an issue if the delivery has arrived at the agreed time. They stood over her while she transferred it on her phone. Understandably she felt scared and did not argue with them, which was the right thing to do.
The response feels like a parody. I phoned and repeatedly ‘corrected’ with variations on ‘your adult daughter’ ‘yes, but she is an adult’. The initial reply to an email was a bald ‘the transaction was cancelled by you’. This was untrue and anyway are either of these responses the point?
After providing evidence and much to-ing and fro-ing there’s no dispute this happened and they say the driver no longe works for them. Having said they would refund the money, they are now saying they won’t, and asking why it’s taken so long to request a refund. Now it’s only £60 and hones, I honestly could not care less, but it speaks volumes and makes me extremely skeptical that any action was taken by them to address this.
The question is can I do anything? I have one of their full names from the bank transfer and their phone number from the repeated phone calls. Taking it to the police seems trivial if it’s about £60 but it’s not, it’s about grown men intimidating a 20 year old girl in her own home. It’s about an employer who clearly give no fucks at all about this and is happy to prevaricate and hand out platitudes rather than respond appropriately.

AIBU to not just suck it up and accept this is how things are? Or should I post the entire email thread which would be hilarious were it not so totally enraging? If there is a constructive way to get this addressed I might be spared an ulcer.

I don’t know. We could get into a long debate about what people should be legally allowed to do when. We could have a whole thread on it. Multiple threads possibly. Why is the age of consent 16, age to drive 17, and age to drink 18? I didn’t come up with the rules. I’m not attempting to debate the rules. Rules made by society have literally zero effect on the scientifically proven facts about brain development.

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine Ok, give me some evidence that this is scientifically proven.

Oh dear god do you not have Google? Switch from Google to google scholar and go and read some interesting science. I’m not getting back on my desk top to trawl through scientific articles for you. 25 is obviously not an exact cut off, it’s just a ball
park figure that’s given for the pre frontal cortex to be more or less fully developed. That’s the bit of your brain that does rational thinking. You’ll find a fair bit of debate about exact time lines. I was taught this as part of my teacher training recently when studying how the brain acquires information. It’s important to understand this when working with teenagers and young adults.

jesus christ…Nothing is ever scientifically ‘proven’ that is the wh

Honestly this whole thread has damaged my faith I humanity. How so many people can’t understand that a young woman trapped alone with aggressive men was intimidated into complying with their unreasonable demands. I’m sure I could have expressed myself better, but it’s just so upsetting how little understanding there is. Your poor daughter.

you can’t ‘prove’ scientific theory. That is the nature of it, it is probabilistic, and embraces the idea that (sorry to rock your tiny world) nothing is certain, but there are degrees of certainty. This is called….statistics!

A very clever lady called Sarah-Jane Blakemore has done lots of thinking for those that find this tricky about adolescent brains. Maybe look her research up.

So you think verbal abuse is all nonsense? That unless one physically harms another, then no harm is done? Is this is all aspect of life? A mother screaming endlessly at a child? A husband constantly denigrating his wife? Is that all hot air? Just curious about your boundaries

Apparently some people's brains haven't developed empathy yet either, what age do you think you might acquire some? Plenty of women would find two angry men in their home intimidating. Goody for you tbT you wouldn't but it isn't a failure in life to be scared by larger, angry people. That fear is what kept her ancestors alive long enough to end up with her.