To feel physically repulsed by my husband

[LeopardPrintIsNeutral]

I feel awful admitting it but I just cant
hes currently unemployed playing video games, with such exertion that he’s panting like a dog.
He’s horrid to me
and honestly 🤮🤮🤮

Begin by listening to the people on here and taking their advice. It seems very clear to many of us that you are in a highly abusive relationship. This is one of the very few relatively safe spaces where you will find support from people who have been through what you are dealing with or have professional experience. Take the support.

As to not being able to afford a solicitor. I get that you don't think you have the money to spare but for your own sake and your kids you can't afford not to. This man will continue to wear you down until you literally don't have the will or energy to get away from him.

Put the house on the market, tell him it's over and he needs to move out. Call the police and tell them he is abusing you. You can definitely move house. The police can help you

Citizens Advice Getting a divorce
If you need to speak with someone about your partner being aggressive
If your partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you should get help.
If you’re a woman affected by domestic abuse, you can call Refuge or Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 at any time.

What to do with children/home when you seperate

Do contact your local Citizen's Advice, they will be able to advise you what to do if you need help with housing. Some Citizen's Advice also have solicitors that provide a free half hour of advice or point you in the right direction. They can also tell you about any local Women's support groups. One local to me has solicitors who give free initial advice, housing, domestic violence advise/support, relaxation and craft workshops.

Law Works
LawWorks is a charity working in England and Wales to connect volunteer lawyers with people in need of legal advice, who are not eligible for legal aid and cannot afford to pay and with the not-for-profit organisations that support them.

You're not on the floor. You're a hero! You are the sole support of this family: you're its strength, its foundations and its protecting roof. You can do anything! Your slob of a husband is the one on the floor. Sweep him out the door.

Do not let him know you are planning to leave. The period once a victim decides to leave and in the 12 months post separation is the most dangerous time for the victim and children.

Speak to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

You are right, Women's Aid doesn't cover all areas. It doesn't cover mine.

You may also find it more helpful to speak to your local domestic abuse organisation as they will have good knowledge around local resources.

You can apply for an Occupation Order:

https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-occupation

OP - massive congratulations your promotion at work.

It must seem very daunting at this stage but you can separate and divorce.

The sooner you start, the less of your money he will spend and get in the divorce.

MN-ers will talk you through it step by step.

I hope you get to talk to Women’s Aid soon, it can take a while to get through.

But Google emotional abuse.

Are there any family members who would help you if you tell them you want to leave? Even just support you and be someone who is on your side? They know how horrible he is because that’s why they don’t visit.

If you don’t do this for you, do it for your daughter. She deserves a better life than living in that household.

if you’re in England, the number for women’s aid is 0808 2000 247.

can you contact your family and stay with them? And close work friends to confide in?

Thank you everyone. I’ve spoken to my mum and a friend today. Hopefully this is the beginning

I hope they were supportive. Good luck with getting him out of your life.

I hope everything works out for you take care.

Well done on reaching out. Stay positive, you can do this.

Well done for reaching out to family and friends.

Do you feel you can trust your line manager? Part of their job includes supporting people in a crisis and your employer may have employee assistance programmes including legal resources.

For your kids sake leave absolutely do not stay s services can help you get to saftey put them kids first

Yes - I really hope they’ve helped you.

You need to start with one step and the next. Before you know it everything will be moving forward.

You have to get out of this relationship for you. If you don’t do it now you’ll be tied to this piece of filth forever, he is vile.

Even more importantly you need to give your daughter a childhood where she lives in a happy and safe space. You need to take any help you can get and be free of him.