To feel physically repulsed by my husband

[LeopardPrintIsNeutral]

I feel awful admitting it but I just cant
hes currently unemployed playing video games, with such exertion that he’s panting like a dog.
He’s horrid to me
and honestly 🤮🤮🤮

He is abusing you. Please seek help as PP have suggested, from Women's Aid or Citizen's Advice Bureau -- you don't have to pay anything for these. Do it for your daughter as well as for yourself. She should not be learning this is how women are treated. Best of luck to you and her.

I'm entirely missing the point here but how do you play videogames with enough vigor to be out of breath? Because right now I'm picturing someone playing Wii tennis or Beat Saber but I'm genuinely curious.

See a shit hot lawyer and try and get him out of the house in a divorce.

Just YouTube it.

Killing someone apparently
it was vile.

I can’t afford a solicitor

Then see your local Citizens Advice Bureau or contact a women's charity.

How much equity do you have in the house?

It’s a pile of bricks - that’s all a house is, and you can buy another on your own without this leech.

I dont need the house or the equity or anything I just need not be homeless with small children

YouTube what? "Man plays videogames and gets out of breath"? I play videogames all the time and I've never been out of breath playing anything that wasn't Wii fit.

Urgh, now I'm a lover of games and even I think it's a bit fucked up to get out-of-breath excited about killing someone in one.

He sounds awful, I'm so sorry you're stuck with such a gross human, genuinely.

Speak to Womens Aid and see about getting him out of the house. Not you. I assume you are the main carer for the kids despite his unemployed status so require the home to continue this.

Well he is controlling and coercive so call the police and have him removed.

Put the house on the market, give him his share and then get as far away from him as possible.

Divorce now.

This, go homeless if you have to but contact womens aid first for advice, your children will thank you in the long run.

Honestly OP speak to womens aid now. Find out what your options are before you give up, you may get help with the solicitor. Xx

Do it for you Dd so she doesn't grow up thinking this is what a healthy relationship looks like. You will be 100% better off.

That is what he wants and what he has deliberately been doing - to make you feel so low and trapped that you can't leave.

Please prove him wrong, for the kids and also for you. Please listen to the people on here OP, sound advice been given. Sure, it's scary to make the move but I bet you'd not regret it once out the other side. Hugs

Luckily he definitely won't be able to afford a lawyer, the grotesque exploitative prick.

Well done on your promotion, you are going places!

Please take out a small loan to see a lawyer.

Please talk to the lawyer BEFORE you start divorce proceedings to make sure you do everything you can to ensure he cannot claim that he has been a SAHP - this is very important.

In two years this will all seem like a weird nightmare.

Why won’t you contact Women’s Aid?

Your children are being damaged.

I’ve never said I won’t contact women’s aid?

Will you?

Leave. Do NOT let your children grow up thinking that this is a normal and acceptable marriage. I grew up not knowing what a healthy relationship looked like. Trust me, you don't want that for your children. You owe it to them to move out ASAP and start divorce proceedings.

I’ve just checked
we don’t have women’s aid here. But we do have domestic abuse services and I can book a call back with an IDVA.

You're not in the UK then? Where are you?

@LeopardPrintIsNeutral I really feel for you. You shouldn't have to live this way and your daughter shouldn't have to grow up in a household like this either.

However, YOU DO NEED THE EQUITY OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!! Specially, if you have paid the lions share into it.

Please speak to Womens Aid, the Womens Trust, your GP, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, Refuge, Citizens Advice etc etc. You may even find that your own local council has a domestic abuse hub - maybe that is the IDVA you are referring to? Get some proper help and advice from the experts in this field and make a plan for yourself and your daughter to bring an end to this situation.