Please someone be honest, is it really that bad?

[Coffeetimeagain]

In the uk now?

I’m British but live in another European country, I want to move back but Dh is adamant it’s too dangerous and wouldn’t be the best for Dd
All I keep seeing on my Ig is all these attacks and frightening things, is this realistic where you are??
I am seeing all of Europe is becoming more dangerous, including where we are and it makes me worried

For some reason I’m developing a bit of anxiety about this, so want honest answers if possible 🙏

I have lived in the UK for 60 years - over 40 of which I've spent living in a big city. Of course it's not dangerous! Western European countries, including the UK, are probably the safest in the world.
I happily go out and about as a lone female, including at night.

Of course there occasional issues, as anywhere else, and we all need to use our common sense, but it's most definitely not a dangerous country.
I think you need to change your instagram settings, and stop believing the utter nonsense you're being fed.

It depends where you are planning to live. It varies even in London, where i lives it is horrible, but where i work its lovely and safe.

So it’s basically the ‘90s again. OP, it’s fine where I live - hasn’t really changed from what I can work out. The COL, NHS, and poor services have been issues for decades. They’re what keeps the Daily Heil alive (that and celebrity upskirt/sideboob/fat shaming photos).

I live in Manchester and won't get public transport anymore. I also won't go to Manchester city centre on the weekends or the Trafford Centre.
Several people I know have been victims of violent crimes in the last 2 years. I don't feel safe here.

Depends where you live surely. I live in a lovely village just outside of a market town in EMids and we have v little crime or violence. I feel extremely safe

It’s not dangerous, but it is depressing.

I don’t see violence etc where I live, and my very local community is lovely but in my wider city I do see an awful lot of deprivation and deterioration- from roads not being swept, litter etc, through to high levels of homelessness and lots of drug/alcohol use in the street. these people aren’t dangerous though. I just feel gutted for them that that’s life.

More generally the tone of social discourse is vile. Racism definitely feels like it’s becoming acceptable again. Lots of misplaced rage amongst the middle and working class directed at each other rather than the people it should be aimed at which has horrible echoes of other times in history that ended in horrific atrocities. Lots of people looking at the economic and social challenges - and frankly exhausted after 15 years of austerity, Brexit and covid - are turning inward, rather than coming together to find ways to lift each other up.

I wouldn’t move here. In fact I’d love to get out. It’s a shame Brexit put paid to freedom of movement (though the conspiracy theorist in me wonders now if that wasn’t really about keeping us in, rather than keeping people out….)

I live in the South East. I gotta say, while I live in a 'naice' and affluent area, things have noticeably deteriorated. I can't get an in person appointment with the doctor for love nor money. Reports of 'everyday' crime on FB (stolen bikes, harassment by drunken yobos, overconfident and underoccupied teens, burglaries, break ins of cars) are up, and I'm prepared to say that reporting of it to police is down, as what's the point. . . Lets not talk about how filthy the waterways are.

Traffic is worse, in terms of volumes and aggression, as is the state of the roads, and public utilities in general.

I'm trying to think what to say to balance out the above! Um, well, there must be work on the roads and the utilities going on - given the proliferation of temporary traffic lights?!

As others have said it depends on where you would be living and your financial situation. The experiences of someone using private healthcare in the Cotswolds with kids at private school and the ability to shop in Waitrose and M&S is vastly different to a family living in Blackburn with average salaries using the NHS attending a poorly rated school. The city’s and large towns can feel ropey and more often than not look tired and run down. There’s a real sense of unease that’s started to permeate society whether it’s economic or social reasons is hard to pinpoint.

Honestly, in your shoes I would stay put. But it depends where you are.

Absolutely, this.

I bet you that the crime in the area of the UK you would love back to is comparable to where you live now! Look at the homicide statistics of both for yourself and show your husband. A lot of the hysteria around safety is a right wing narrative to blame the immigrants for all our problems.

I live in soggy North Wales. Hadn't noticed it being much different in this village than when I was a kid (40m years ago). The kids still hang out in the park and round the shop, the little walk to primary school with parents or in little groups once they hit the bigger classes. The big kids get the bus to the local comprehensive. The bus was always a bit of a baptism of fire, nothing much changed there. We holiday all around the UK and it doesn't feel scary to me or to my teen daughter. I suspect it's all about where you choose to live.

I live in a market town and never ending road works cause the most complaints.

I love living where we live and have seen noticeable improvements in our services in the last year too.

Hospitals seem to be turning a corner although SEN children’s needs and mental health services have been ravaged and seem to be taking time to turn around.

I feel as safe as I ever did in our area. No better, no worse. Lovely sense of community, often leave our door open by accident and that’s fine. Wouldn’t jog away from houses at night but never would as a woman.

Kids still seem mostly lovely individuals with a few silly giddy ones ruining it for the rest on occasion.

The flag shite is unsettling but same as above most people are either side of centre with a few gobshites seeing it as a way to jump on a racist bandwagon.

The main difference is online. X is almost unusable, Facebook is going the same way, local Facebook groups overrun by small minded bigots. On the ground things are much less polarised in my opinion.

Of course the UK isn't dangerous. 🙄

OP, I started a thread about 'what's happening on your Street WhatApp'. I think it gives a pretty good idea of what everyday life in the UK is like for most people - i.e. probably about as scary as the last time you lived here I expect. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5438897-what-is-happening-on-your-street-whatsapp?page=4&reply=148312721

Yes, I feel there is an undercurrent. There seems to be a lot of dislike and people are both sad and angry.

As everyone says - it depends where you are, but in my sleepy little corner of Suffolk we still leave the door open for the postie and let our kids play in the street 😁.

I’d say life in the UK isn’t as good as it used to be but it’s not necessarily dangerous, just expensive and unpleasant at times. I’m definitely conscious about my phone being stolen as that happened to me last year but I wouldn’t say that I’m concerned about it happening again if that makes sense, cause the person was prosecuted.

More generally the tone of social discourse is vile. Racism definitely feels like it’s becoming acceptable again. Lots of misplaced rage amongst the middle and working class directed at each other rather than the people it should be aimed at which has horrible echoes of other times in history that ended in horrific atrocities. Lots of people looking at the economic and social challenges - and frankly exhausted after 15 years of austerity, Brexit and covid - are turning inward, rather than coming together to find ways to lift each other up.

I agree with @TiredofLDN .

The entire country is depressed. So you really want to comeback to this? Stay away!

Yes, this resonates, although I am not in Manchester. On top of that I am priced out of the majority of public transport now (despite a regular train commute of c. £25 for work from 2010 onwards, which was factored into earnnigs) - certainly of 'spontaneously decided' public transport journeys.

I lived in the UK through the days of IRA terrorism. Seems positively peaceful here by comparison.

Well I won't let my 13 year old walk from Asda to a couple of hundred of yards away. Immigrants major problem where we live and it feels threatening.

How heartening. It's good to have a high bar.