Me and DH have 2 kids, aged 18m and 3 years. My PIL live about 90 minutes away from us and have asked if we would like to spend Christmas with them this year. They have a big breed dog which is untrained, boisterous and has been known to snap/bite both dogs and people. He's only 3 but being a big breed still acts very puppy-like. He's drawn blood from my FIL multiple times.
We have said we are only comfortable visiting if the dog is muzzled or locked in a different room for the duration of our visit. PILs have refused, saying this isn't fair on the dog and they don't believe in muzzling as it's cruel. They think he's a big softie and "he's only snapped a few times, it's not like he's an aggressive dog"- their words not mine. They think it's our responsibility to keep our children away from the dog. While I don't disagree, this doesn't sound like a pleasant visit as we would constantly be hovering, especially over the youngest who isn't old enough to understand to stay away.
We've just said it doesn't sound like this set up works right now so maybe it's best left until the kids are a bit older. We are now being accused of dictating what PILs do in their own house, and blackmailing them by withholding access to their grandchildren if they refuse to 'bow to our demands'.
Are we being unreasonable? I'm not anti-dog, we have a dog but he is smaller, well trained and very quiet and soft with the kids. I have no issue locking him in the kitchen or garden if friends come round who aren't keen on dogs.