Why’s the John Lewis’ Xmas Ad so bloody menacing!

[Purplefoo]

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2025/nov/04/john-lewis-christmas-advert-countdown-90s-club-classic-where-love-lives

I genuinely thought it was about an abusive dad or a murderous son at first! So intense……

I've just watched it again and I do see an interpretation of it in which the Dad is stressed/depressed and the record reconnects him to happier times (like when he starts listening you can almost see weight fall from his shoulders) - and it's as much about the son getting through to the dad as it is about the dad getting through to the son. But I think that just makes me like it even more.

I can't believe the amount of time I've spent analysing a ruddy advert.

Nervous excitement about giving a gift is not the same as ‘nervous around you’ for goodness sake!

I get what you're saying, and I am genuinely happy for you that that's the case. I have one teen who is the same, and one who isn't. Neurodiversity plays a role, as does personality - I remember feeling that way when I was young, for example, because I now know I am autistic and have hyper-empathy and a dread fear of getting it 'wrong', even and perhaps more so with the people I love, which is part of how my autistic brain works.

Are you being critical of parents whose kids might feel like that? I can't quite tell, perhaps not.

But, if you were: me and my DH have done so much to work on our relationships with our kids, we use our words, we reach out everyday, we find ways to connect, even when our kids push back, and we don't take it personally or make it about us. And my kids are thoughtful and deeply loving.

But they can also feel nervous and awkward.

I love them for who they are, and all that they are. They're OK to feel like that, and it's not a reflection of my parenting (and believe me, I have done a lot of soul-searching on that), and nor is it a 'fault' of theirs. It's just who they are.

We don't all have to be the same. Again, that's the joy of being human - we're all different, and so I read that advert as bloody lovely and you see it otherwise. That's OK, isn't it?

The male teen in the ad obviously suffers from anxiety, and is possibly neurodivergent. The constant headphones are a giveaway. I have a teen like that.

If you don't have children who suffer from anxiety, then you won't understand. Or maybe you could try to understand?

That’s exactly how I see it - beautifully put!

How condescending can you get?
I don’t even have sons. Or teenagers anymore. My DD is almost 30 and in touch daily. We are spending Christmas together. We do care about each other enough to be nervously hopeful our chosen presents go down as well as we hope though.
‘Open about emotions’ reads differently for different people and it’s massively arrogant to think your way is the only good way and everyone else is sad and having to convince themselves their children love them.
Nasty.

Haven't RTFT, but is the son supposed to be autistic? Is that why he had headphones on? - why they've drifted apart, maybe? But that would mean deadbeat dad who'd rather be free of his family gave up on his autistic son who seems to have more love & intuition than his father - not sure that's supposed to be the message. Also, the women were kind of wiped out of it, doing the tidying up. It doesn't say happy Christmas to me, but then I haven't shopped at John Lewis for years, so what do I know?

Haven't liked any of this year's ads yet. The only one I've liked in recent years was a perfume ad with a couple who were on each other's team.

My thoughts exactly! Full of stereotypes. Dad and son can't communicate, dad comes across as positively menacing 😳 Daughter compliantly lays the table with her mum. Supposed to be deep and thought provoking but actually like a scene from the 1950s! Mum clearly doesn't hark back to her raver days as she's too busy cooking for the men 🙄 What did the son give her, a pair of oven gloves?! It's glum. I prefer more uplifting things at Christmas, life is too serious as it is.

I can understand as in, I get what’s happening. Doesn’t mean the ad connects with me though, and I think regardless of the ‘story’ it’s still filmed in an oddly menacing and depressing tone and visual identity.

Same x

There's the Christmas spirit 😂

I am going to have to unwatch this thread so I don't see all the "My children are happy and well adjusted and share their feelings with us because we are such good parents" type replies 😆

The male teen in the ad obviously suffers from anxiety, and is possibly neurodivergent. The constant headphones are a giveaway. I have a teen like that.

But its not a giveaway though. Yes, i agree many neurodivergent people wear head phones, also many dont, but Neurotypical teens wear them if they are into their music and djing or gaming I go to my friends house and he has headphones dangling from his neck every time im there. When I do my house visits for work I have to ask the teens to take their headphones off for a few mins. These are kids that havent issues

You're basically saying because the ad doesn't resonate with you, it must be shit.

Same as the people who were complaining last year that the JL 2024 Xmas ad was about two women.

Dad isn’t deadbeat. He’s right there cleaning up after Christmas present unwrapping. And he hasn’t given up on anything.
The story is about the man and boy in this instance so the women aren't foregrounded (we could say that happens too often I guess) but the whole family are taking part in the clear up.

I can’t think of a profession that involves house visits to teens that doesn’t mean there’s been some issue for the teens. Maybe not ND, but an issue.

Well, I’ve not said it’s ’shit.’ I’ve said it’s, weirdly menacing, and I stand by that

My teen constantly has his headphones on, no issues or ND here, just a teenager.

This 👆

Sorry OP but on what planet is it menacing???

I've said it is shit. I quite liked last years.

You're right OP - this is horrific, and probably the least Christmassy "ad" I've ever seen. Also doesn't make sense. If he's reliving his clubbing years, why would his son be there???

Exactly...the message isn't complicated, just not delivered very well. And the mum and the sister are just....there. don't see why they couldn't have included the dad showing the mum the record and them both reminiscing about their younger days, dancing along etc. then dad turns to see son

Or mum and sister could have been doing literally anything more interesting than cleaning in the background. It is Christmas, it's supposed to be fun!

There's nothing wrong with focusing on male perspectives in an ad, but if you're going to feature women at least give them a tiny bit of personality too.

Didn't see the son doing much clearing up tbh.

Yes I agree, I did actually reply to my own post because the advert I was sent yesterday (and described in my later post) was not the one described here. I’m completely baffled!