Too Much, Too Soon?

[NattyQuail]

I met a man two weeks ago online after about a month's worth of casually talking. He seems nice and genuine. Late 40's and I'm 40. He lives about an hour's drive from me in a flat/bedsit. I have my own terraced house. He pays for his daughter who is 7. But I'm starting to think he is moving too fast with me. I've asked him to slow things down, but we've spent a lot of time together and he's stayed over nearly every time. We met up this weekend and again he stayed over. He bought me an Amazon fire stick as a surprise and then got upset when I questioned why he was fiddling with my TV. If he had told me what he was doing and why then it wouldn't have been so bad, but I ended up telling him that I felt overwhelmed and not used to this much involvement from someone whom I haven't even known for two weeks. He apologised but said he didn't feel like he'd done anything wrong. I just feel like he's taken over my life a bit and I'm starting to feel like a guest in my own sodding house!

It was nice regarding the firestick but totally unnecessary and he wouldn't even tell me what he was doing until he'd finished.

That night in bed he lightly spanked me when he was about to cum. It wasn't hard and he just did it once, but I was shocked he'd done it without discussing it beforehand. He had no idea whether I am into that sort of stuff or not. I told him not to do it again and he should have asked. He immediately apologised again and he did sound very remorseful but that on top of the Amazon firestick has given me a massive ick. The spanking more so, tbh. I told him I've never had that done by someone who cares.

AIBU - I'm overreacting?
YNBU - The ick is justified.

Limp dick and diapers! Crying 😂

🤣🤣 I chose "diapers" instead of "nappies" for the alliteration value!

Exactly. Accommodation with a fanny.

LOL!

Isn’t that a song

Op, I’m so sorry that this turned into a shit show but I hope you realize this man whatever was trying to take over your life and people are just trying to make you laugh. I hope, at least you appreciate them

🤣

This thread keeps on giving

And mine

He's making you feel very uncomfortable OP and acting like you are in an established relationship when you have just met. You are getting turned off by him - understandably. Of course he should be discussing everything with you before he acts. You are quite justified to feel this way and to end it if you want to (or to seriously slow things down if you don't).

Get rid immediately.

And in future I’d suggest not having a man in your house who you’ve only been physically dating for two weeks. He’s practically a total stranger.

Trust your gut; if it feels too much, it probably is.

@NattyQuail He is moving too fast. Enjoy the sex (if you feel inclined) but keep your distance, tell him to back off, and return the Fire Stick. And no more surprise spanking. It really is a wonder how he's living alone in a bedsit and not already snapped up.

Way too much waaay too soon!

Middle aged man living in a bedsit when you own a home and you are wondering if yabu after a fucking fortnight?!

Raise your standards girl!

There are definitely red flags here with the fast speed of the relationship. It seems like he could become controlling.

@ToKittyornottoKitty Where did OP say she didn't want him staying over?

@NattyQuail far too pushy I bet in his head he's got himself moving in, and likes tv channels you don't have. Not to mention the slap. 😡

This has cocklodger written all over it.

Note to self OP: If you don’t want men trying to use you for your financial strength and comfortable home, don’t show them what you’ve got within a few days of meeting them. Go on many many public place dates, before you invite them to stay at your house.

Block.
🚩🚩🚩

Been on mn to long. Thought to myself, here’s another single man who’s stealthily moving into a single woman’s house. Re-read op’s post and there it is, ‘lives in a flat/bedsit’.

I don’t know anything about cameras but a fire stick is a weird present - what ever happened to flowers and champagne. It’s definitely territorial and hints at ‘I’m moving in and deciding what goes on here’.

Hou need firmer boundaries. Suggest visiting his house, going on dates away from the house, not staying over. It’ll be interesting to see his reaction.

But after two weeks, you’re not obliged to carry on this relationship if the ick is developing.

I was going to post the same.

Brilliant post.

Gut feelings are usually right, I would just end it.

You lot are cracking me up.

So it’s been 6 weeks? And 2 weeks of face to face meeting. Yes it’s fast. You’ve had him sleep over multiple times (in 2 weeks), let him make himself too comfortable in your home and then do something in the bedroom you didn’t like.
Surely it’s time to say see ya to him. This should be the fun part- the meeting for meals and walks and coffees. Not staying in your house and watching tv on the new fire stick. The boundaries need to come from you.

This ^ I don’t think it’s ’slut shaming’ at all. OP hasn’t taken any time to get to know him and here he is hijacking her tv and slapping her arse.

As for meeting his daughter after two weeks?! God I hope not!