To find my partners road rage disgusting?

[Brmbrm]

Just need a realty check as to whether I overreact on this subject really.
My partner does alot of driving for work so i can understand his frustrations, I also drive and encounter many idiots on my travels, people cut you up, are on the phone, speeding etc I just do what I'm doing and my motto is that hopefully karma gets those who drive and put themselves and other people in danger.

However my partner constantly is swearing and making gestures to people whenever we are driving, depending on what they've done it can range from calling them a twat/dickhead to more personal insults like fat bitch and even the c word. This isn't appropriate when a 6 year old is in the car is it?

I've told him to stop or if he must to use age appropriate language, he just doesn't care. People cut me up too but I dont swear at them when my 6 year old is with me (or even when shes not) because its not like they hear it or it will change anything. AIBU?

I’m going to guess this person is not the father of your child?

It is truly shocking you have remained with him op.

He sounds awful. Why are you with him?

People who get as frustrated and angry as this when driving can also be a danger on the roads themselves. And the language in front of a 6-year-old is totally unacceptable. He should get some help - maybe anger management?

Agree none of this is acceptable. People make mistakes when driving the last thing they need is more harassment and people making hand gestures at them.

l would also feel so stressed being in a car with someone with this level of anger goodness knows what your wee ones feeling

You can do better than this can't you.

At the very least stop getting in his car and drive yourself and your 6yr old about.

I've been on the receiving end of this sort of behaviour from other drivers, male and female, when I wasn't even in the wrong. It really shook me up. He obviously has no idea the effect it has on others and I'd worry about his anger in other areas of his life too

Completely unacceptable, I’ve lost my temper before but when it’s frequent like this it’s disgusting. I genuinely thought most men were like this though but I’ll admit I must have gotten that wrong due to all the replies. My Dad was like it, long term ex was like it, FIL is like it and current partner is like it. I must have been very unlucky!

No unfortunately he is DD's father

Do better. You know he has a temper and anger issue but you’re in denial.

Good luck to that 6 year old of yours, you’ll be writing some even more concerning posts in years to come due to staying with this man.

Great, just great.

He’s a thoroughly unpleasant man outside of the car too, guaranteed.

Is this car behaviour new?

I must confess that I sometimes swear at inconsiderate drivers. But when driving my DGC around I will only say 'Oh my goodness what a silly blinking man!' But when driving with DH I will comment on what a anker that driver was swapping lanes at the last minute without signalling, or, as happened today, I pulled over to allow an blue light ambulance to pass me & some idiot overtook me!! I so called him an f'ing anker 😡

I have a friend who's DH buys wrecks of sports cars (mostly Lotus), does them up & sells them on. She's frequently driving a fancy-pants sports car in various states of repair & says that she has much more aggression from <invariably male> drivers when driving a Lotus Esprit (for example) than when she's driving her Discovery.

edited as, for some reason came out in bold

That's not good. As a cyclist, that kind of driver is the sort who almost kills you then yells at you about it.

Is he emotionally dysregulated in other areas of life?

My first husband used to do this and then after some years progressed to attacking me when frustrated in front of our child so beware. He was also banned from seeing his DS until he was 16.
This behaviour is completely unacceptable and don't think your child isn't taking it in, they will be feeling huge fear but internalise it all. So my DS told me when he was an adult - that he didn't react but was actually terrified and it scarred him badly.

Having said that IMO cyclists need to decide if they're traffic/road users or not. If they are, then they obey the rules of the road. It's frustrating to be stuck behind a cyclist using the road rather than the cycle track that's there for their safety, when they ignore red lights & you have to do an emergency stop because they've suddenly decided to turn across you, when they go on & off pavements to avoid the traffic.

Several years ago I was run over by a cyclist on a zebra crossing. I broke my wrist. Needless to say the cyclist didn't stop.

No, not at all acceptable. What on earth is this teaching your child? Is he generally such a knob end?

You have 2 choices.

You accept thats how he behaves in his car when driving

You dont accept how he behaves when driving; and dont get in his car.

You can't/won't change his behaviour. Question is will you put up with it?

Does he act like this in front of his boss? His parents? People he respects? Because if he doesn't, and if he can control his anger in when people he respects are around - that tells you he doesnt respect you (or your child) big red flag.
If he would act like this in front of anyone then he has bigger anger management issues and thats a big red flag.

😬

What a horrible thing to say!! I don’t agree with swearing at people on the roads etc however I find what you just said more disgusting!

Start looking at your local bus timetable

I wouldn’t have my children in the same car as him if that’s how he behaves. His behaviour would have been a deal breaker for me a long time ago.

And the rest of the time he is all sweetness and light… ?

You allow your DD in a car with this maniac? Why?

Well with that statement wtf are you still with him for? You obviously dont like him.

You need to set him free so he can find his true soulmate, who currently has a thread on MN promoting the idea of flashing your lights behind people who are driving too slowly for their liking. Clearly a marriage made in heaven.