To find my partners road rage disgusting?

[Brmbrm]

Just need a realty check as to whether I overreact on this subject really.
My partner does alot of driving for work so i can understand his frustrations, I also drive and encounter many idiots on my travels, people cut you up, are on the phone, speeding etc I just do what I'm doing and my motto is that hopefully karma gets those who drive and put themselves and other people in danger.

However my partner constantly is swearing and making gestures to people whenever we are driving, depending on what they've done it can range from calling them a twat/dickhead to more personal insults like fat bitch and even the c word. This isn't appropriate when a 6 year old is in the car is it?

I've told him to stop or if he must to use age appropriate language, he just doesn't care. People cut me up too but I dont swear at them when my 6 year old is with me (or even when shes not) because its not like they hear it or it will change anything. AIBU?

Your child will be taking in all the anger, the negative energy, the fear. I'm 65 & I still remember my dad acting like this when driving. It was terrifying.

My reception school age niece went into school and said to the teacher ‘ I’m sorry we are late, it’s because of the fucking idiots ‘ . Cue my sister never swearing in the car again after that !
I do think the standard of driving has got worse in last few years . I commute just 7 miles to work & coming home last week, got ‘ cut up ‘ or pulled out on without the other driver looking no less than 3 times 🙄

I wouldn't get in a car with him nor would my child unless an emergency

Surprised he drives for work as these drivers are often the most chill about the madness out there. It’s a power thing isn’t it raging at other drivers in your safe little bubble? Does he understand that he is affecting people in the car with him? That is being around aggression and harmful and unsafe..not to mention pointless behaviour? Certainly a good driver stays in control of their emotions. Solidarity OP 💐💐

This writ large…… @Brmbrm - pay heed!!

Hogging the middle is against the law and dangerous

You should get him to read the Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. Basically, he's behaving like an animal.

chimpmanagement.com/books-by-professor-steve-peters/the-chimp-paradox/

I wouldn't get in the car with him until he sorts himself out.

OP, don't let him drive you! You do the driving and he sits in the back seat with his mouth shut.

Aggressive angry driving also dangerous

I want to add that my ex was exactly like this in the car and he used us all being trapped in the car to abuse and bully me too. I didn't feel I had any power in the situation at all. Is the car thing truly the only time he is abusive, or??

Not to derail the thread, but cyclists aren't forced to use cycle paths, you can choose. Ask yourself why you'd choose not to use the path - they're often poorly maintained and can be downright dangerous with litter, bumps, low hanging branches, random street furniture mid path etc.

Sorry that cyclist was a dick to you, I have plenty of motorist anecdotes if you want to compare! And I'm also a motorist.

That kind of driver will happily antagonise and bully law abiding cyclists

I must be unlucky too. My ex and husband.are like this and you would never know theyd be capable of such behaviour if you met them.

Honestly I let him drive because that's marginally better than me driving as when im driving he not only is swearing at everyone else in the wrong he is critiquing my driving too and he makes me nervous to drive.

I dont want to derail the thread but I stay with him because I don't want DD to have to spend time alone with him as much as i can, at least when I am there I can try to interject with things he says.

Frightens the life out of me how many amped up angry men there are in charge of a killing machine because that’s what a car is, add rage into the mix and it’s terrifying and yes, it’s always men IME

Staying with a man because you can’t trust him to be alone with your child is serious. You need to get help to get out. This isn’t going to get any better. It will do huge amounts of damage to your child to grow up in this environment.

Why would they choose not to use the cycle path? I have no idea. There is a cycle path near me that’s named in memory of a cyclist who was killed on the road before the cycle path was built. Yet many cyclists still choose to share the road with fast traffic and lorries rather than using the far safer cycle path.

in reality how much would he want to parent dd if you left?

i think it’s a terrible way to waste your life and I’m sure your dd would rather a happy parent and no doubt minimal time with her useless father

Well, they're either all mad or there's something about the cycle path that you don't realise unless you try to cycle on it

Quote possibly there’s something wrong with it. My dad has been a keen cyclist for over 60 years, and as secretary of his local cycling club was sometimes asked to provide feedback on plans for cycle paths. Some of them are clearly designed by non cyclists. I’m a wheelchair user and it’s clear a lot of supposedly wheelchair accessible facilities have been designed by people who are equally clueless. A lot of these things are a box ticking exercise done as cheaply as possible without any consideration for them actually serving the purpose for which they were intended. Sorry for being cynical, it is a result of many years of experience.

It just shows his lack of intelligence and maturity

OP, my DH gets road rage - we live in an area with some drivers who park in ridiculous and dangerous places. But when 5 yo DC is in the car, the worst that comes out of his mouth is "you muppet/you idiot". He also toned it down a lot after he realised about a year ago that he had scared DC with a shouting match out the window at someone parked on double yellows on a curve... So yes, even road ragers are capable of raging in a PG manner when there are children in the car. The fact that your DH doesn't notice/try suggests that he doesn't care about the impact on your DC.

Don't be ridiculous. What about his behaviour. Terrifying a small child is just fine then is it? I grew up listening to lots of screaming and shouting and was absolutrly petrified. As an adult it made me extremely insular and untrusting of people. Get a grip!
Would you want to leave your child with a man who cannot control his rage? Good luck with that.

First of all OP chose this man as her partner and also chose to have a child with him! I did also say I don’t agree with him swearing and shouting at people. I don’t need luck I just wouldn’t have a child with someone that does something that makes me disgusted with them

I have no respect whatsoever for angry little twats in cars. It’s almost always men, and they are absolute morons with idiot level IQs.