To think that most women crave companionship, even if they don’t always admit it?

[UnmaskedAmberFinch]

I’m not saying every woman is desperate for a relationship, plenty are happy being single.
But in general, I feel like most women do want meaningful companionship at some point in their lives, whether that’s romantic, deep friendships or close family bonds. Sometimes it feels like society pushes this “I’m totally fine alone” narrative and while independence is great, I wonder if deep down, many people (women especially) really do long for connection, partnership and emotional intimacy.

AIBU to think that the need for companionship is pretty universal and not something to be ashamed of?

We are tribal animals.
Connection is essential for everyone, not just women.

It's why I have a dog.

"Sometimes it feels like society pushes this “I’m totally fine alone” narrative"

Really? Where is that being pushed? Because most of society is geared towards coupledom.

I've never society frowning upon people having "romantic, deep friendships or close family bonds".

Yeah society still centres couples in a lot of ways (everything from housing to holidays seems designed for two!). I meant more the cultural messaging in recent years, especially online, that celebrates complete self-sufficiency or “you don’t need anyone” energy. It’s not bad in itself but sometimes it feels like people are almost afraid to admit they want closeness or dependence because it’s seen as weakness.

I have no desire for closeness or dependence, and do not want to be part of a couple again. Others may be different.

I think the change in cultural messaging, as you put it, has come from women acknowledging that no relationship is better than a crap relationship.

I look at some of my mum's female friends - the one who had to give up her David Lloyd membership when her husband has a hip replacement, because if he couldnt play tennis then he wasn't paying her membership whilst he was at home; or the one who tells her friends she only buys new clothes with cash so he doesn't see them on their joint account; or the one who cut her allowance when the kids moved out because she didn't need so much anymore.

I can see why younger women who are financially independent, might say single can be better than bad companionship

'Companionship' and 'a relationship' are not the same thing.

If all someone wants is 'companionship' they don't need a partner or spouse for that.

I don't think anyone is pushing a narrative that people should be rejecting human connections entirely.

@UnmaskedAmberFinch I haven't seen any of this messaging either. Not saying it doesn't exist, just haven't seen it.

I feel as if I have seen a lot of messaging saying that having a partner is important, and that friends aren't particularly important

I don't think about it much because whatever is being pushed doesn't usually match the real world.

Some people struggle to find meaningful companionship and some of those people will adopt that narrative as a coping strategy. The people that genuinely don't need connections are a minority.

I want friendships and close family bonds but I've never craved a romantic relationship and I wouldn't have one.

I think having a relationship with someone - not necessarily a romantic one - is needed by most people.

I think you've lumped together a lot of different things there. I think most would probably happily "admit" that company of family, friends or even a pet is desirable to varying degrees. That's totally different from suggesting that women do secretly want a romantic partner and are "protesting too much" to save face. I hate that kind of thing and think it stems from a feeling of inadequacy or insecurity in their OWN desire for a relationship and want to feel like they're not alone in that.

I don't think it necessarily has to be romantic either. However on a cultural level we seem to really suck at friendships and third spaces so I can see how finding a romantic partner works as a quick fix to a lack of companionship.

I don’t think it is a gendered thing at all. Most people need connection. But people have different levels of need for different levels of connection. What one person craves, another finds smothering. What one person enjoys, another finds distant.

It's a basic human need to have meaningful connections with others, whether male or female. I don't think women crave romantic attachments more than men. We may talk about it more openly but I don't think we crave it more. Women's health/life outcomes are not as negatively affected by being single as men's are. I also think women are generally more emotionally competent than men, meaning we don't need romantic relationships in the same way they do.

I’m not sure why the question is directed at women - I don’t think men are any different at all in this regard.

I think modern women finally have the opportunity to choose not to put up with a terrible husband and to choose to be single instead preference. That’s a good thing.

No, i disagree.

Ive never seen 'society' push for singledom and independence, its all geared up for couples and families. Where have you seen this?

As an introvert and expert on myself, I'm happy to say that no, I dont crave intimacy or companionship. Happy with friendships but that's it.

Here is today's 'AIBU......to' thread aimed at making women feel 'wrong' about their choices. Thread blaming societies norms or 'messages' pushed on women as though women can't make up their own minds really.

Here is today's theee word, one colour, one bird, user name poster made up for the posting of such threads.

Here will be today's OP hardly replying or OP posting lots of word salad.

So predictable. So samey. Someone, somewhere is spending a lot of time pushing divisive trad wife, mid American style conservatism onto MN.

Previous examples - "AIBU to think that young women don't want children but should" AIBU to think that people don't like it when I tell them I do all the domestic and treat my man like a king". Not quite that, but you get the fucking gist.

Interesting point.

Let's see if OP comes back or if this is another 'dump & run.'

Studies show that women fare much better outside of a relationship than men do. Men without a SO are more prone to loneliness and mental and physical health problems, and die sooner. Meanwhile a lot of single women thrive on their autonomy and independence. They make and keep strong friendship networks, and, particularly when their experience of being in a relationship has been poor, genuinely wouldn't want a man in their life again.
You need only observe social patterns. How many times do you see women happily on holidays, days and evenings out with other women, compared with men? Women don't actually need (or often get) their companionship from a male partner. Their emotional and social needs are often better met by other women.

Me too.

I very much agree with this.

I don't want to be married, I don't think I even want to live with someone. What I do very much want is to curl up on the sofa with someone and share a bottle of wine watching a film. I want to be with someone on New Year's Eve and on New Year's Day. It's the little things.

I have fabulous friends. I have a great companion in my dog. After two failed marriages, countless relationships, raising two adult DC alone, I find I have fulfilling connections and emotional intimacy without sharing my life with a man.

My life is perfect. I take responsibility, make my own decisions, do what I like without some bloke in my ear or my bed.

I agree with some of what you have said OP. I have had LTR and also been married and divorced. I have great friends but they have families, and children. Their significance in my life is greater than mine in theirs. Many of my friends are now retiring, they are planning trips away together, it’s definitely companionship and cost and fear. A bad relationship is awful but having a reasonable person you like around is probably enough for many.

I've got my cats and plenty of friends. That's enough for me.