To think that most women crave companionship, even if they don’t always admit it?

[UnmaskedAmberFinch]

I’m not saying every woman is desperate for a relationship, plenty are happy being single.
But in general, I feel like most women do want meaningful companionship at some point in their lives, whether that’s romantic, deep friendships or close family bonds. Sometimes it feels like society pushes this “I’m totally fine alone” narrative and while independence is great, I wonder if deep down, many people (women especially) really do long for connection, partnership and emotional intimacy.

AIBU to think that the need for companionship is pretty universal and not something to be ashamed of?

OP has apparently never come across the million ‘loneliness is worse than smoking’ articles. I haven’t personally seen any mainstream sources pushing a ‘totally fine alone’ narrative.

I am very deliberately socially isolated and am happy that way. I have a lot of contact with people through work which is enough for me. I actively avoid people the rest of the time and have found this is what keeps me on a happy, steady path. My 2 kids have a lot of friends and social engagements so I do have to get involved with that to some extent but I do not have any close family and see friends rarely.

I have to say that as I edge closer to 50 I wonder about what I would do if I needed any sort of care, if I became ill or disabled. My kids are too young to rely on and I wouldnt want them to miss out on living their lives because I had deliberately cut myself off. You can't rely on the state these days for fuck all. I dont have much savings or any critical illness insurance. So now I'm in the uncomfortable position of having to think about building a "village" as a back up plan. I would rather not have a companion but perhaps I need one?

Men do too!

loneliness isn’t an emotion I have ever felt. I’m 50 so maybe there’s time yet! But, to date, if I’m alone, my feelings are peace, contentment, happiness. I’ve never felt sad if I’m alone, the exact opposite.

Also why I have a dog (first post always nails it!).

I think you have to also look at what companionship means to whoever they are trying to be companions of to understand why so many women don't have it. For men companionship seems very very low on the agenda, a lot will find a woman in the house an annoyance. They don't like to plan days out or events. They don't remember birthdays or special occaisions. They often don't even celebrate Christmas. They like being treated like a teenager at all times and will act the role at the drop of a hat. A scarily large proportion of of them are either violent or cheaters and far too many would sleep with a child if they could get away with it.

Dogs are far superior and they help your gut microbiome. Win/win.

Problem is that most men don’t seem to feel the same.
There priorities are sex, domestic support for their own comfort, sex, possibly spreading their genes, sex and did I mention sex?

Well i dont presume it is just woman, I prssume all humans need connections of some description

That's not my experience. While they do want all that, they also want someone to listen to them, sympathise with them, flatter them and encourage them, sort out problems for them (while ideally pretending its them that have arrived at the solution), ask them if they're OK, make them feel good about themselves. And all this tends to intensify as they get older and less 'relevent' by comparison with other younger men. Unfortunately this often tends to be something of a one way street, with many being quite poor at reciprocating the things they want and need. Men do want companionship, the problem is, they're not always the best companions for women. Hence a lot of women choosing to be single, and a lot of men being forced to be.

So. You mean 'humans' not women. hth

And yet again we have a tripartite-named OP asking a clickbaity question.

Yes you see that here and there but lets not act like the overwhelming messaging from society is that being single is a defiency. There is no equivalent, married term that holds the contempt the term “spinster” does.

Most of the single middle aged women I know do not have pets - myself included.

I would be interested to see if more single people have pets compared to married people. I doubt it.

Oh I see this was a plop and run from OP.

It’s the same poster as usual who uses a variety of three-part names and posts a clickbait title question, aimed at stirring up debate. Very occasionally a subsequent post, often not.

You can spot them a mile off now.

Best just to reframe this is your head - it doesnt actually matter if the op is genuine or not. If one wants to participate in this discussion, they can. Even If it’s clear the op has no intention of returning, you can use the thread for your own means - sort out your own feelings or listen to what other people have ti say.

Well, sure, but I think I’d rather be aware if an OP is a habitually name-changing poster who asks the same type of deliberately clickbait-y questions every day or two, rather than someone raising a topic in good faith. Absolutely you can engage with other posters who are replying in good faith, but I’m not keen on being part of someone’s deliberate coat-trailing policy.

The problem for me is the repeated pushing of anti woman/anti feminist bilge. It's a drip drip drip in an attempt to change perspective, create division and manipulate what people find acceptable/mainstream view.

I also don't want to spend my life interacting with BOTs and more frequently this is seeming the case on here. If it continues I'll probably sling my hook.

I think that is actually makes me post more feminist stuff in retaliation. They often highlight the exact things that men do really really badly, like companionship, and then run off.
It actually makes me think about it more.

Never bothered me.
I love being alone i live alone and wouldn't change it.
No pets no kids no man no drama blissful.

It's the 'even if they don't always admit it' that interests me. Sounds like this is you telling women that you know them better than they know themselves. Tiresome.

What’s the secret to living like this happily? Don’t you ever get lonely or bored or sad? Genuinely interested to know how to do it happily. My kids will fly the nest in a few years so I’d like to know how you live happily alone.

The most lonely I have ever felt (apart form terrible times in my childhood) was when I was married and wanted to be out of the marriage.

It was an awful feeling, I don't want to hurt my ex, I felt trapped and just so so lonely as I could not be myself

I love my friends.

I don’t yearn for romance. I feel like it’s a trick!

Same here.

I don't understand people that do need someone (thinking of a highly successful friend who admitted she did and went from relationship to relationship).

Maybe it's my mental energy and feelings that know I couldn't cope with that over and over so I choose nothing.