My disrespectful teenagers

[really14]

Anyone going through the same ??
I have 2 teen girls ages 13 & 15

they are not ALL bad but some things truly hurt me. They are in their room all time time unless at school. They come down for a drink or food.
I don’t get a “good morning mum” and they don’t say goodnight or anything before they go to bed (they disappear and go to bed to sleep before me)

I ask them to come out with me weather it’s shopping or for a walk etc and most of the time it’s a no unless it benefits them or it’s to a restaurant. They put me down sometimes and I’m trying my best. I’m always there to defend them at school etc. I’ve really got their back.

if I’m upset or having a low day or I cry they show no feelings no warmth nothing.

they go to my parents sometimes and they will do everything with them!! Really suck up to them because my parents spoil them. (They’ve got money) I feel not good enough. Not liked.
my eldest is obsessed with her phone. Always on it so sometimes ill take it and ill say to her come to the real world. Come spend time with your family. Let’s have a conversation. But no she sees me as the devil
honestly I feel like a stranger in my own house

Anyway OP had a completely normal and not at all OTT reaction to this thread and I can't possibly see why her DD might be distancing themselves from her...

*You're

Wowwww this unfolded quickly 🍿

Still intrigued about defending them at school though.,,, what? Why? How? A parent shouldn’t be ‘defending’ teenagers ‘against’ teachers - you should be showing them consistency in rules being applied by adults in charge of their care….

Do you feel better now? 🤣

Hope she hasn't got a husband, I feel sorry for the poor sod living with someone so volatile

I totally disagree, I would react the same way to posts that make so many assumptions and gleefully pull these together to create a completely false narrative around the OP being dramatic, hysterical and attention seeking.

Nasty bitter women jumping on this thread today

@Haaaruuuumph is also weirdly obsessed with you OP. I would feel more sorry for her DD as at least her husband had a choice.

🤣🤣🤣

@ragandbonewoman
Is there a limit then on how many times someone can reply/quote ?

I thought the idea of Mumsnet was to comment on subjects by Posters?

The OP is quite vocal and aggressive in her replies so others can't respond to them...how does that work then? 🤔

Such a reasonable person
So calm and not at all completely over the top
Can't at all see why your DD might avoid you

OP isn't being remotely dramatic and attention seeking at all 😉😉

They sound like typical 13 and 15 year old girls to me. I think you’re being very over dramatic, OP, and don’t have realistic expectations of teenagers.

No one else but the OP has told people to F off have they though?

Maybe you need to go back an re read the thread to get a bit more clarity

OP what have you been doing as they've grown up to build your relationship with them in a way that isn't just you doing stuff for them (being their support human as a PP put it)?

I don't think you can expect your DC to spend time with you if you haven't developed that aspect of your relationship. My teens are nothing like yours (which isn't to say they can't be self-absorbed and have never spend most of the weekend in their rooms!). However, we've been spending time with them, connecting and having fun, getting them to help out with keeping the household running, finding out about them, and telling them about us, since they were born. Obviously it's changed as they've got older, we drop some things and find others. But we've constantly been building connections, 1:1 as well as as a family.

If you haven't been doing this I think it's hardly surprising they aren't that interested in spending time with you. They don't have any reason to want to. It will probably take some time to connect and be more difficult to find an in now they are old enough to be looking outwards and preparing to make their own way in the world. But is there anything at all you have some sort of mutual interest in that you could start to connect over? Even watching a TV show you all like together could be a start (won't be enough on it's own, though). Do they enjoy anything with you on holiday?

Oh grow up lol

Love that OP tagged you in it so you could see her rant about you being obsessed with her

@really14 you posted in AIBU and to be fair, it is full of arseholes who make ridiculous comments. To be fair, you aren't doing yourself any favours at all in the way you are responding.

I think what you're describing is fairly standard teenage behaviour. Of course not all teenagers behave like this, but plenty do.

Maybe you could start a thread in relationships where you might get some more sensible answers. If you do, please think about how you respond to posts you don't like as you have been very reactive and over the top on this thread.

Probably one of the most bizarre reactions from an OP I've ever seen on here
No Emotional Intelligence whatsoever it makes me wonder if it's an actual bored teenager off sick from school posting for shits & giggles

I echo this , I was lucky I got mine back at 17 , like a switch had been turned on and she has since told me that she woke up one morning and thought ‘why am I being so horrible to my mum’ we had the odd hiccup after that , but she was utterly vile between 13-17 , I actually used to dread her coming home. Don’t give up , just keep loving. It will be okay soon .

13 and 15 is young. Clearly outline uour expectations and set deadlines for change. Stand firm.

Make them aware that if their behaviour does not improve they will be out the door on their 18th birthday. Nothing like a reality check for youngsters to modify behaviour.

I wouldn’t be furnishing phones to kids that age, but especially not if they were surly and disrespectful.

The fact that you can't see that suggesting the OP link up with other women and grow her own support network away from her children, is a good idea makes me wonder why you are even on here except to berate and criticise other women.