Do you judge Facebook attention seekers?

[pittapat]

Just a discussion, not a rant. I know a couple of people who are genuinely lovely in real life but the biggest attention seekers on social media. Constant navel gazing and ‘inspirational’ posts about how much they’ve learned, how much they’ve improved themselves and in one case, very very long statuses about family and how proud they are of their kids blah blah blah.

I read it and eye roll because it really does seem to be purely for likes and validation. Why else post? In real life I get along with these people as friends, family and colleagues but their Facebook personas are irritating. I don’t post often and mainly use Facebook to find out about local events and news. I don’t engage but then feel bad when I see mutual friends gushing in the comments because it’s almost like not saying anything is a snub.

I've unfollowed so many freinds on Facebook beacuse their post are all just navel gazing shite. One freind posts multiple times a day, about anything and everything, literally just her daily comings and goings. I don't get how people have the time.

I hardly use FB anymore, it's handy for a few pages for local businesses and events happening but thats about it

Yes, i see a very different side to people on Facebook.

Posts of different holiday locations every couple of weeks are a bit tedious. OK, you have enough money for multiple holidays, but the photos all look the same.

Isn't all sm attention seeking?

Yes.
Especially as it’s well documented what people see as annoying behaviour on Facebook.

I’ve finally un-friended someone as fed up of all the woe is me posts. The final straw this week is her posting a photo of her clearly unwell 13 year old cuddling his teddy (not that there is anything wrong with a child cuddling their teddy). But why plaster it all over Facebook. Then she posted again to say sat in A&E with him, that was it for me.

A lot of it is. But I think people use it for other reasons. Genuine connections, information, purely to be nosey but yeah, bragging and attention seeking are probably among the top 5 reasons why people use it.

I have some people (I.e old school mates or colleagues who I haven’t seen for years and don’t care about) who I’d just unfollow or delete. But it gets a bit more complicated when people you actually like in real life are completely tiresome and annoying on social media.

Just dont look

I have a friend I grew up with (don’t see her now really) who posts pictures of her children when they are unwell. It really doesn’t sit well with me.
Awful pictures of the poor things having just been sick, with a high temperature, half undressed etc. It’s all for attention and I find it really sad for those poor kids that they are being plastered on SM when they are their lowest.

YANBU

And sometimes it's the unlikeliest people who are the culprits.

I've often had friend requests from elderly volunteers at work and a few colleagues, and been really surprised at what their FB personas are like 😳

Just don't let it bother you, if that's what they want to post they're free to post it. Just scroll on. If it makes them feel good then God knows we could all do with a bit of that in our lives

I only use it to post a few photos of a fun weekend/holiday because i like the memory pop up it does years later.

Some people have really low self-esteem and need that feedback from others to make them feel heard. It's quite sad. Especially when they post something super emotional but of their 100s of friends only a couple like it.

I have a close friend I genuinely like and who is a really nice person but her facebook drives me crazy. It’s not woe is me but it’s so over earnest and virtue signalling. I just don’t understand what the motivation for it is. I hide her mostly. I like to hear her news and views in person when we meet.
I also have a friend who I don’t really like who still posts overtly attention seeking posts. It’s things like “had the worst day ever.” I just ignore, it’s beyond embarrassing.

I think one of them in particular does it for the likes. She is a lovely girl but always glued to her phone and always knows what people are up to. She writes very in depth statuses about her feelings and how life has been so difficult but she’s coming through the other side now and so on. To be honest, a lot of what she puts on social media doesn’t go hand in hand with what she tells me in real life but that’s another story.

Either way she inevitably gets loads of likes and supportive comments and I guess that sort of validation can become quite addictive especially if you’re not in a good place mentally.

I silently do. A big ick for me is parents posting pictures of their sick and/or hospitalised children!

I love seeing holiday posts and people being happy and enjoying life. I don't like the moaning, the cryptic messages and the a&e check ins but not telling anyone whats wrong the pm hun🤮

Yes, especially the "we had ar highs n lows but I still luv you my solm8" followed by a break up a few days later and the "just me n my kids now 2 meny snakes xxxxxx"
Or the ones that tag themselves at a hospital and say something vague like "back here again" or "I'm sure they know me by name now!"

The worst but best are the ones who post a very vague statement about knowing who to trust and being thankful for their true friends. Usually following or followed by a profile picture change and their relationship status changed to complicated.

I love and hate them

I feel like that FB guff of posters wistfully posting about how stoic and wronged they were, or a picture of them in the hospital, FML, peaked 10-15 years ago, and I've never taken to Instagram. Do people even ask if 'Hun is ok' anymore, or have I just blocked 'em sll.

Yep especially those who tag themselves at a hospital to get loads of "What's wrong Hun" comments to reply "DM me Hun I cant say"

Very much so. I find a few people I know and their social media posting utterly cringe worthy and to be honest, a complete load of shit. In real life they say one thing social media tells another story. Social media isn’t real, people just post what they want you to see don’t they. One particular person I know is insufferable, I have snoozed her. Relentless posting with passive aggressive memes and recently writing poetry aimed at her in laws because she doesn’t feel they babysit enough. Desperate to be an SEN parent and posting about how hard it is (child has no formal diagnosis this is her self diagnosing) I say that as an SEN parent and I have had a lot of struggles with my child. One day moaning about motherhood and the next day best job in the world. Honestly I can’t keep up and it is really sad in many ways. When I look at the reasons she does it, is because she is sad and lonely, possibly also rather unwell mentally. There is a reason these people do it and their simply lacking something in their life.

Another one I can’t fucking bare. People recording themselves crying. Such a load of attention seeking

Does it make me a bad person if I say I find it quite entertaining?. One of my aunties is a real drama queen and posts everything.
The Facebook philosophers, I tend so just scroll on by.

That’s the worst, when people ‘check in’ at hospital - WTF

I think dramas are different to the navel gazing stuff. I love watching a FB row unfold, even though I shouldn’t. And the same with the check in at a&e bollocks, it’s all just such obvious attention seeking that it’s become cliche over the years.

The posts I’m talking about are a bit more subtle. Framed as just being proud of themselves. Or just trying to let people know they’re not alone. That sort of thing, and if you eye roll about it you kind of make yourself feel like the bad one. But it’s all just so corny to me. Im seeing a lot of ‘living my best life’ posts from both men and women who are recently divorced and either going on amazing holidays or hiking or pursuing some other virtuous new hobby…but not so much that they can’t stop to take several photos of their ‘best life’ to blast all over Facebook. If you’re really enjoying yourself just enjoy it without having to worry about selfies on top of mountains.

Meh, judge? Probably. Enjoy because it’s entertaining? Absolutely.

I don't use it much these days for these precise reasons:

• "airing dirty laundry in public " type posts e.g. rants about ex husbands
• cryptic A&E check ins with no context
• rants about a particular person without actually naming them (but the person concerned will recognise it is them)
• photos of what you are eating/drinking
• photos of family members crying
• posts like "Happy birthday hubs - you are my rock". You LIVE in the same house FGS! Have an in person conversation or send a PM!
• Heart if you love your mum
• "Share if you agree" etc
• Clickbait "news" articles

It's become cringe and tragic.