How would you react to this “joke” made by DH?

[Beanz2022]

Not really an AIBU but Just wondering really others opinions, husband will say regularly this as a “joke”

“get in the kitchen and cook me breakfast bitch”

for no reason other than he’s trying to be funny. Context, he’s 46 I am 34.

I express to him I don’t like it, but he still says it and tells me he’s just being silly.

I’d have said ‘nah that’s your job bitch!’

I wouldn’t like this either, however I don’t appreciate name calling in any context.

I don’t think I’d fall out about it tho. I’d just let it hang in silence and carry about my business. He’d learn soon enough

Well what matters is how you feel about it. If DP said it, I'd consider it the equivalent of a jokey slap on the arse in the direction of the kettle. But if he did it often it would grind. And if I asked him to stop and he didn't, I'd be livid!

Be silly back - fuck off old man. the 90s want their banter back.

If you’ve asked him not to say it and he’s still doing it then it’s not on. I wouldn’t find funny myself 😡

I'm with @notthatoldchestnut .

I'd give him a look and say something like "I've asked you several times not to say that". And let it hang awkwardly in the air.
Every time, until he got the message and stopped.
Plus, of course, not making breakfast...

That age difference… is starting to show

Was he always like it? I wouldn't have married him? He sounds like a mysogynistic pig.

If you’ve said you don’t like it, and he’s still doing it, it’s not acceptable.

In general, I think this is one of those things that will differ person to person. I know women who’d hate this, women who’d think it was funny, and women who’d say it to their male partners. None of them are wrong.

DH and I say stuff like this to each other but it is a back and fourth joke. A bit like when I call him a good little wench when he's doing the washing or he calls me bob when I build the furniture.

Edited to add (sorry posted too fast) if one of us got offended or asked the other not to call them something, it would not be repeated. Yanbu to be upset if he is doing something you don't like after being asked to stop. You have to have respect in a relationship otherwise what is the point.

Be silly back - fuck off old man. the 90s want their banter back.

Then be serious and explain that it isn’t funny and he stops there.

And if he didn’t then he would be becoming very undesirable and I would consider what this older partner was delivering because if it’s repeated shit sexist jokes then we wouldn’t last long.

It's funny/not funny. Especially after the umpteenth time.
But of course, it's 'just a joke' and 'where's your sense of humour?'

I wouldn't like it. Certainly not on repeat. I might respond "fuck off and cook your own, arsehole."

Well it’s irrelevant what we think because clearly you don’t think it’s funny or endearing. So, in your shoes, I’d serenely drift into the kitchen and make a full English for one. You.

Mirror his tone

that kindof language isn't used in our relationship thank goodness

As a one off I’d probably laugh but if he repeated it obviously would not be funny and if I told him that and he kept on, he’d be a twat and if he was a twat he’d be my ex

MY 14yo dd said something very similar to this a few months ago, the difference being it was a total one off and was clearly a joke centered around our chat at the time. If she spoke to me like that in real life she would certainly know about it.

Calling any woman a bitch in any context is not funny at all.
Ordering you to do something is not funny at all.
If he isn't a misogynistic excuse for a human being he is giving a good impression of one.
Why anyone would take that as a joke is a mystery to me.

"Fuck off cunt" is usually a good response to most things to be fair.

But I banter with my dh all the time and I dont think he'd ever say this out of the blue so what is the context when your dh says this? Are you having a silly laugh and a joke together and its genuinely said in jest or is he poking you awake demanding you to make him breakfast at 6.40am on a sunday?

Like when dh asks for something and I, tongue in cheek, ask what did your last slave die of? and he responds with insubordination and then we both laugh and I say yes I can do this for you or no, i cant right now or maybe later, or just no.

I think you need context here.

Dh and I have slipped into stupid banter like this when we are doing building work (we renovate and sell properties). Its pretty crude and the language is awful However, its a joke that we both play and its 50% each.

The comment you had is one sided and sniffs a bit of misogyny to me. Id either retort with a good come down ie. "No chance, This bitch only makes breakfast for real men who know how to use their c*s"

If he finds that funny, then all is good. If he doesn't- he's wasnt saying it as a joke really......

Unless I'm missing something that's not a joke, where is the punch line? You should punch him

What Shoutygouty said.

Alternatively - Do fuck off.

Go make it yourself you old cunt...

And I'd never make it again.

Now obviously you've told him you don't like it so he needs to stop. In my house me and DH banter like this all the time and if he'd said that to me I'd have told him that I don't make breakfast for first class cunts. But that's how we are and always have been. I think if you've told him and he's still carrying on then you really need to have a word because it's shitty behaviour when it's not your normal