How would you react to this “joke” made by DH?

[Beanz2022]

Not really an AIBU but Just wondering really others opinions, husband will say regularly this as a “joke”

“get in the kitchen and cook me breakfast bitch”

for no reason other than he’s trying to be funny. Context, he’s 46 I am 34.

I express to him I don’t like it, but he still says it and tells me he’s just being silly.

I’d say ‘Fuck off you fat old cunt and do it yourself. Call me a bitch again and you’ll see just what I’m capable of.’ Then I’d hide his phone or car keys until he apologised and learned how to behave.

Just wouldn’t accept this shit and I would show him who’s boss.

This. I really hate it.

A joke really is supposed to be funny, you do know that right?

I Googled it…

joke
/jōk/

noun
noun: joke; plural noun: jokes

1. a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

‘Make your own fuckin breakfast’.

I get it’s “just a joke” and it wouldn’t offend me but it’s just a shit joke especially if he keeps repeating it.

My DH does this stupid noise every time I cough (from Little Britain I think). He’s been doing it for literally years. I still don’t find it funny after the 50,000th time. I actually think it’s become some kind of weird habit that he can’t help anymore but I still think it’s shit.

Dh would never call me bitch even when joking.

I guess you don’t him funny anymore. It happens

Wrong person to post to, sorry

The use of "bitch" would probably grate, it's not a term I have ever used affectionately, though I have friends who do, but otherwise the joke would be fine with me (and I'd pay it back, one way or another).

However, if my DH kept on with a joke (any joke at all) I had asked him not to, I would be considering the relationship and whether it's still based on love, mutual respect and appreciation.

I’d tell him to fuck right off back to work.

I think I'd tell him to f-off if you find it unacceptable.

My other half, when we'd been together called me 'sugar tits' a few times, while giggling like school boy. I hated it, told him to well, f-off and he stopped.

He would be given one very clear warning that if he EVER spoke to me or any other woman in that way again, he would be dead to me.

this.

He is negging you to devalue and keep you in your place. Age difference insecurities on his part. Good luck with your marriage

My standard response when a man uses the word “bitch” is “Woof woof”.

I wouldn't be married to someone who thought speaking to me like that was a joke and actually funny.

No idea, because he wouldn’t.

What's your relationship like generally? Ignoring your wishes is not a good sign!

I hate the word bitch. To me it’s a misogynistic slur used by men to keep women in their place. I would tell him this and request he didn’t call me a bitch again even in jest. If he did it again I’d tell him I’d be leaving him on the 3rd occurrence and I would mean it.

Next time give him a medusa stare and say "did you call me a bitch? Why? Oh it was a joke?Why do you imagine that is funny? Banter? No no, that's witty back and forth that both people find amusing. What you're doing is insulting me. Why do you imagine id ever want to be with someone who insults me? That's rude and childish"

I’d leave the house, get in the car, and go and buy myself a nice brunch out somewhere on my own.

If he commented or made a fuss or asked where I was going then I’d say “I don’t want to cook for or eat breakfast with someone who calls me a bitch”.

If he kept going after that I would stop cooking for him entirely.

You need to make your actions match your words to make him stop.

"A thing that is said to cause amusement or laughter" absolutely describes a joke that doesn't get a laugh, if the intent is to be funny.

Because it means he grew up during the 90s when the dominant New Lad culture was intensely misogynistic.

What the heck?? This isn't an age thing. Trying to imagine DH,64, or DF, 80, ever saying this. Just wouldn't happen. Your husband needs a shock. Tell him you're re-evaluating your relationship due to his disrespect and will be back to him when you're done. If a huge apology doesn't appear I'd seriously consider moving on.

And yet, most men raised in that era and culture don't say things like that.

When will women stop making excuses for the behavior of men.