SEN child in park

[AD1509]

This happened a few weeks ago but has been playing on my mind. Myself, DD (4) and DS (7) were in a fairly large local park. There is a piece of equipment that is always popular- it’s basically a spinning seesaw. Two girls around 10 had been on for a while and once they vacated, my two children were quick to hop on. With in around 20 seconds one of the girls returned and said to me “can I have a go?”. I replied “oh they’ve just gotten on but once their go has finished it can be your turn again”. The girl immediately responded “Can I have a go?”. At this point I noticed the sunflower lanyard. I couldn’t see any parents nearby. So I tried “They will be done in 2 minutes then you can get back on”. At this point the child started yelling “get off, get off, get off”. With no parents in sight to advise- I then said “let’s set a 2 minute timer and then they will be done”. The child then ran at the equipment, towards my 4 year old in an attempt to grab the seat. What actually happened was she got smacked full speed in the face by the spinning seesaw and fell to the ground. She also nearly knocked my 4 year old DD off who was now hanging off the seat whilst it continued to spin. My immediate attention was to ensure DD was secure (and the seesaw had stopped spinning). After that I tried to attend to the now wailing child
lying on the floor. As no one approached I started to gesture towards them whilst yelling “is this child’s parent here?”. After a few moments I noticed a man and women sat on a bench on the other side of the playground visually acknowledge us, the man then came across and attended / tried to encourage the child to to leave the seesaw and return with him. Which didn’t go well as they continued to scream that they wanted a go. At this point I removed my children from the equipment and we went elsewhere. I am wondering if I should have dealt with this differently. Once you noticed the child was SEN would you remove your children immediately? Should
I have not engaged with the child directly at all once I realised that were SEN and instead tracked down the parents? Obviously it didn’t turn out well with the child getting injured. I’m wondering what would be the best approach if it happens again as they may also be local to us.

I think you were fine, the other parents should’ve been supervising

It really isn’t. Even if the child wasn’t disabled, all kids behave like arses sometimes. Doesn’t mean they deserve to get hurt.

It is reading a bit like it’s a pile on of the parents, oh so carefully worded so as to seem innocuous.

No, it's not human nature. There's nothing human about it. SEN has everything to do with it. A 10 yo child who didn't have SEN would recognise the risk of running towards a moving object, they would also understand what 2 minutes is and have the ability to wait for 2 minutes to safely have a turn.

Yeah you seem to have an empathy bypass.
I don’t think the OP did anything wrong. The parents should have been paying a closer eye but life as a SEN parent is tough and they
can be forgiven for taking their eye off the ball once in a while.

Comeuppance? She’s disabled you utter piece of garbage.

Sorry do you mean my comment or the theme of the thread?

Go stick your satisfaction somewhere else. Maybe one day you might end up with a disability which later causes you to have an accident and maybe someone with a similar personality to you might get some sort of sick satisfaction from it! Just saying!

I will fully admit I don’t have a full grasp of what breath of situations the sunflower lanyard in a child could indicate. And I also dont believe that all SEN children react in the same way to a situation. But it’s really the not knowing that was making me reconsider my response in this situation - I wanted to see if there was maybe a better response in future I could adopt to avoid a similar situation. I appreciate everyone who has given their thoughts- especially those who have SEN kids who may behave similarly.

Yeah that's fairly evil

As a mum with a child who has SEN. You did the best you could with what you had, you aren't going to know what to do with that particular child when you don't know their specific needs as there's no such thing as a one size fits all approach. I do think these parents should have supervised their child more closely, and come over alot sooner than they did. My child has limited speech and understanding, she doesn't understand turns at all but I'm always with her and I'd have took her away from the roundabout until the other children had finished their turn.

I used to live in a house where the garden behind mine backed directly onto it. I could also see into their house.

They had a child with what I think was pretty severe autism. He spent a lot of time in the garden shouting, which I really noticed over lockdown. But what else I noticed as I was pregnant and sleep was a bit all over the place at the time was that child did not sleep. Ever. At any hour of the night lights were on and you could see his parents moving around.

Months later when I had my baby and realised how awful sleep deprivation is I wondered how that had gone on for years and years without any real hope.

But hey, the parents should be on it 100% all the time, right?

Your attitude and the fact you laughed at a disabled child getting hurt is nothing to be proud of.

I have a dark sense of humour too and for me its not that you would laugh - inside or openly - its that despite being aware the child has a disability or condition that requires understanding and patience, you still see them as "annoying", "misbehaving" and judging them by what I assume are the same standards you'd expect of a typical child in the same situation.

Based on the fact they asked the same question twice, shouted and cried.

Once When we took one of our grandchildren to the park, my husband was pushing the grandchild high on the swing and another child came running out in front of the swing. The parent seemed oblivious to this. Fortunately my husband grabbed the swing before it hit the child. He also asked the parent if they had seen what had happened. The parent said aggressively ‘My child is Autistic’ We still wonder if this was a bad parent who should have been watching their child (about 2 or 3) or whether it was a poor parent who was just worn down.

The child is disabled. They may or may not have been misbehaving. Feeling a “sense of satisfaction” at any child getting hurt is repellent, and the kind of thought best kept to yourself. And is your amusement really “nothing to do with SEN”? Hmm.

OP, you did nothing wrong. I have a profoundly autistic DS who would likely behave like this. It’s why I helicopter the shit out of him when we’re anywhere involving shared equipment. I actually prefer it when people don’t just give way to the lanyard because it helps me get the message home. This one is on the parents, not you.

Yes. Immature and a bully to be frank

You are proper sick in the head, finding it amusing that a child with or without a disability gets hurt.

Op You did absolutely the right thing. There’s no more you could’ve done. It was down to the parents to parent child. So truthfully, I think a child without SEN could’ve had the same issue if they were enjoying a piece of equipment as much as this child seem to be.

Maybe time to get a hobby

Yes, I have a dark sense of humour. What are you going to do about it?

Actually that did make me laugh. Mainly because you sound pathetic about 12!

Yes, tbh, fucking nasty.
Be cross with the parents for not proving adequate supervision

Being glad to see a disabled child hurt because they

1. Displayed social communication problems
2. A lack of awareness of danger
3. A lack of coordination to reach the seesaw safely

Makes you a cunt of the highest order.

Yes probably true but you could say that about most people who reply on here. Yes including you!

Who have i bullied and how?

This 100%