SEN child in park

[AD1509]

This happened a few weeks ago but has been playing on my mind. Myself, DD (4) and DS (7) were in a fairly large local park. There is a piece of equipment that is always popular- it’s basically a spinning seesaw. Two girls around 10 had been on for a while and once they vacated, my two children were quick to hop on. With in around 20 seconds one of the girls returned and said to me “can I have a go?”. I replied “oh they’ve just gotten on but once their go has finished it can be your turn again”. The girl immediately responded “Can I have a go?”. At this point I noticed the sunflower lanyard. I couldn’t see any parents nearby. So I tried “They will be done in 2 minutes then you can get back on”. At this point the child started yelling “get off, get off, get off”. With no parents in sight to advise- I then said “let’s set a 2 minute timer and then they will be done”. The child then ran at the equipment, towards my 4 year old in an attempt to grab the seat. What actually happened was she got smacked full speed in the face by the spinning seesaw and fell to the ground. She also nearly knocked my 4 year old DD off who was now hanging off the seat whilst it continued to spin. My immediate attention was to ensure DD was secure (and the seesaw had stopped spinning). After that I tried to attend to the now wailing child
lying on the floor. As no one approached I started to gesture towards them whilst yelling “is this child’s parent here?”. After a few moments I noticed a man and women sat on a bench on the other side of the playground visually acknowledge us, the man then came across and attended / tried to encourage the child to to leave the seesaw and return with him. Which didn’t go well as they continued to scream that they wanted a go. At this point I removed my children from the equipment and we went elsewhere. I am wondering if I should have dealt with this differently. Once you noticed the child was SEN would you remove your children immediately? Should
I have not engaged with the child directly at all once I realised that were SEN and instead tracked down the parents? Obviously it didn’t turn out well with the child getting injured. I’m wondering what would be the best approach if it happens again as they may also be local to us.

Why would you laugh at a disabled child getting hurt?
Very strange 🤔

No just ignorant tbh. Hth

My children are SEN and you did more than I would expect of a stranger, to converse and give a visual of time of when they could use the equipment. But, I shadow my DC so they don't become pains in the arses for strangers and make sure they follow the rules.

Well, yes. It's pretty unpleasant for a grown woman to laugh at a child with SEN being smacked in the face.

Yes. It's a disabled child.

Because she thinks that if the child isn’t in a wheelchair they aren’t disabled and therefore deserve everything they get, is my guess.

I hope MN don’t remove that comment, as I think everyone needs to see what parents of disabled children actually have to contend with

@AD1509 exactly this. This is on the other parents who needed to be actively supervising their child.
Incidentally, SEN parents are doing their child no favours if they don't directly teach waiting for their turn. It can be painstaking but pays huge dividends. But I guess that would be too much trouble for a pair of parents leaving their SEN child to put themselves in harm's way.
You did nothing wrong at all.

If no parent is nearby I would have moved my child away when the get off get off started because I avoid playground upsets. My child also has sn.

I have a SEN child. He's younger than this child and has limited understanding so I have to stay with him and manage his interactions with others (whilst also supervising a toddler!) The fault lies with the parents who should at least have been near enough to see and to notice any issues. You sound like you tried really hard to be understanding and accommodating, which in my opinion is what SEN parents and children want rather than expecting you to just cede turns/equipment. We have to try to help them to meet some social norms like turn taking, but people understanding that it can be more difficult for them really helps.

Oh come on. Everyone has been in the position where a child is misbehaving and winding everyone up. It is human nature to feel a sense of satisfaction when they get their comeuppance. This is nothing to do with them having SEN.

Yeah that's actually vile.... would you laugh like that if it hit a toddler in the face or just a disabled older child?

It has everything to do with SEN
You really are a very unpleasant individual.

My child is a SEN child and displays similar behaviour and will ask repeated questions despite it being explained to her (and most likely understands what people are telling her and knows what taking turns means) and if I wasn’t holding her back would probably do the same as the SEN child in your situation as sometimes she just doesn’t understand the consequences or doesn’t understand why she can’t do something right now.

HOWEVER, I know my own child and I would never leave her unsupervised knowing how quick she is to go up to people and grab things, say things and generally put either herself of others at risk. If i see her approach someone I’m following right behind her, I would never not be watching her at a park. I’m quite gobsmacked in this case that the child’s parents were not supervising their child properly, knowing full well their child has SEN, is vulnerable and possibly doesn’t understand what taking turns at a park means or that the child is likely to react the way they did.

I wouldn't have let her on straight away, but would've been wary of her going towards it like when a younger child approachs moving equptment once I noticed the lanyard.

Who mentioned autism? This is a weird take

No, that's really not normal. People don't enjoy children getting hurt.

The sunflower lanyard is not to signify SEN, it's a visual prompt that someone may require more patience, understanding and assistance.

You were clear in the way you were speaking to the child, considered they may need an alternative method of explaining how long you were going to be (setting a timer), and didn't show the child up at all when she reacted to her disappointment in what some would think an inappropriate way for a 10 year old.

As a parent of children (now young adults) with additional support needs, I'd say you handled it pretty well.

She most likely wasn't 'misbehaving and winding everyone up'. She was most likely just a child feeling dissapointed and didn't have the skills to deal with that disappointment in the way another 10 year old might do.

So you believe that because a child has a disability which means they cannot understand or cope with social situations, because their disability presents through behaviours, they deserve to be punished by being hit full speed in the face by a see saw?
Is there any part of you that can understand how unutterably disgusting your attitude is, or are you a lost cause ?

Why would an adult laugh at the idea of a child being smacked in the face by a swinging seesaw?

What a very strange and unpleasant reaction.

Well quite few on here do judging by the emoji reactions to my comment. For goodness sake, I laughed to myself at the point in the story where the OP said the annoying child got whacked after being told to wait for her go. If I had been in the park and witnessed it, I would not be openly laughing.

Ooooops I think you have just had your arse handed to you by the people of MN and rightly so…. What a nasty, ignorant individual you are! No child with a disability deserves their ‘cummupance’ for behaviours they cannot help or do not understand!

You wouldn’t be laughing if it had happened to my SEN child put it that way! Sen children don’t always understand what ‘wait your turn’ means! Get a life!

And you're still calling the child "annoying"? What for, getting upset?

Oh for goodness sake. It's not as if the child died or was hospitalised. And to the person who said that i wouldn't be laughing at their child, you've totally missed the point! I've already said that I wouldn't laugh in the face of the child, just feel a sense of satisfaction. And quite frankly I can laugh at what I want in the comfort and privacy of my own home. I can assure you that the anonymous child you are all discussing has no idea that I was mildly amused when the anonymous OP mentioned the seesaw whacking them. Yes, I have a dark sense of humour. What are you going to do about it?