SEN child in park

[AD1509]

This happened a few weeks ago but has been playing on my mind. Myself, DD (4) and DS (7) were in a fairly large local park. There is a piece of equipment that is always popular- it’s basically a spinning seesaw. Two girls around 10 had been on for a while and once they vacated, my two children were quick to hop on. With in around 20 seconds one of the girls returned and said to me “can I have a go?”. I replied “oh they’ve just gotten on but once their go has finished it can be your turn again”. The girl immediately responded “Can I have a go?”. At this point I noticed the sunflower lanyard. I couldn’t see any parents nearby. So I tried “They will be done in 2 minutes then you can get back on”. At this point the child started yelling “get off, get off, get off”. With no parents in sight to advise- I then said “let’s set a 2 minute timer and then they will be done”. The child then ran at the equipment, towards my 4 year old in an attempt to grab the seat. What actually happened was she got smacked full speed in the face by the spinning seesaw and fell to the ground. She also nearly knocked my 4 year old DD off who was now hanging off the seat whilst it continued to spin. My immediate attention was to ensure DD was secure (and the seesaw had stopped spinning). After that I tried to attend to the now wailing child
lying on the floor. As no one approached I started to gesture towards them whilst yelling “is this child’s parent here?”. After a few moments I noticed a man and women sat on a bench on the other side of the playground visually acknowledge us, the man then came across and attended / tried to encourage the child to to leave the seesaw and return with him. Which didn’t go well as they continued to scream that they wanted a go. At this point I removed my children from the equipment and we went elsewhere. I am wondering if I should have dealt with this differently. Once you noticed the child was SEN would you remove your children immediately? Should
I have not engaged with the child directly at all once I realised that were SEN and instead tracked down the parents? Obviously it didn’t turn out well with the child getting injured. I’m wondering what would be the best approach if it happens again as they may also be local to us.

My child is SEN and no, if there was another SEN child at the park, I wouldn't immediately remove my son from the equipment he was on

Thankfully there was a parent there. You. Because that dc's dps left a lot to be desired imo.

I have a special needs child who would have behaved the same way, but I don't think you did anything wrong. I don't leave him unattended and watch him so I can intervene before things like this happen. I know it can be hard going being an sen parent, but you just can't sit back and chill like other parents.

You did the right thing at every stage. Her parents should have been keeping an eye on her. A situation that was horrible for everyone could and should have been avoided and that’s on them.

Everyone should have equal access to the play equipment, it’s a public space not a private garden. Your DC waited for their turn and should have been allowed to enjoy it. I hope your younger one wasn’t hurt.

You did the right thing OP. The other parents sound completely useless.

Yes. It's not the child's fault. Autism is a disability you know for a reason. You wouldn't laugh at someone in a wheelchair being forced to try and stand.

This honestly sounds like a bit of a non-event.
She couldn't get back on the seesaw because another child was on it.
She accidentally got hurt.
Her parent came to comfort her.

Yes, you are

I don't know about evil but very strange to delight in hearing about a child getting hurt 🤔That's probably best kept as an inside thought.

No my children are also Sen. We would use timers to wait our turn. I also wouldn’t immediately remove from it unless they have been on for ages.

but then again both my middle 2 I walk between equipment and never that far away so I can immediately respond if there’s a issue.

Poor kid, she shouldn't have been left alone. My autistic dd wouldnt understand turn taking i dont think. She has run infront of swings before i can get to her and i'm constantly chasing her

Completely understand a parent being exhausted but maybe you'd sit closer to where theyre playing

I can imagine that the child only understands how to ask for something, and not what happens if the answer is 'wait', if that makes sense, so not sure what you could've done differently xx

Edit, as a sen mum, please dont just move your kids away from a sen child 🥺🥺 - that stuff hurts.

You did nothing wrong. Children with SEN can struggle to understand taking turns, which is one of the reasons they need more supervision and support in these situations. The parents should have been actually parenting their child rather than leaving you to do it. Your child does not have to give way to another child just because that child is wearing a sunflower lanyard. Having SEN does not give anyone the right to trample over everyone else and have everything their own way.

Evil? No. Pathetic and immature? Yes.

I think your timer idea was excellent. You just got unlucky.

It didn't end well this time, but that doesn't mean you did anything wrong.

It doesn’t feel like a non-event if a child gets hurt because you aren’t sure if you- as an adult- handled a situation correctly? If there’s a better way to approach an SEN child in a situation like this I think- at least for me - thats useful information to know.

You handled it well. I've got a SEN child who sounds similar to that one. He has limited understanding of verbal communication, struggles to share and no sense of danger. I wouldn't expect anyone to get off equipment for him, he needs to learn to take turns. Suggesting a 2 minute wait was a fair way to do things. The child's parents should have been with her to manage it.

Unpleasant, certainly.

OP, YANBU, but I hope this doesn’t turn into one of those threads about horrible SEN children expecting ‘normal’ children to cede space for them and becoming violent if not.

That’s not my intention- it just made realise I don’t really know what the best response is in this situation and it could easily happen again.

There's no one 'SEN child' approach to use, all children are different.

I don't know what else you could have done really, you were trying to supervise your own small children so shouldn't have to go hunting for the little girl's parents. They should have been supervising the poor child properly and it's their fault she got hurt 😢

Children with Sen also can learn to wait for their turn, if they aren’t capable of waiting (with or without Sen) the parent(s) need to be actively parenting the children to manage their expectations.

At 10ish there are children who still haven’t learned to wait, but it’s for the parent of that child to be managing the situation, op did nothing wrong. I have a sen child (now grown) who did take a long time to learn turn taking but you much persevere as a parent, however hard and you don’t get to read your book or emails in the park alas until they can do this, dd never went to the park without a parent at the age you go on equipment

I don't know about evil, but I've never met anyone who enjoys the idea of a disabled child being hurt, I think disturbed would be my word to describe you.

Yes you're awful. I'm guessing you thought that this would be a SEN bashing thread and you would get lots of positive feedback on your witty comment.

I think the problem is it varies so much from child to child, you don't even know what kind of sen she had, and even if you did conditions vary a lot in severity and presentation. The only thing that could have prevented it would have been the other parents supervising their child properly, and taking her away before she got hurt. X