Ban male nursery workers?

[BluntPlumHam]

I came across this article which has left me quite sick.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cze665j2y51o.amp

Said 18 year old was newly qualified nursery worker who’d SA’d and raped 3 year olds.

Nurseries are desperate for workers and I have noticed through friends and families that there is now an increasing number of men entering the profession.

Men traditionally haven’t performed this role and I often find it difficult to envisage what attracts a male to this profession to begin with when we have so many instances of men who run away from childcare responsibilities.

Although men entering the profession can be a positive outcome the other very concerning outcome and on the potential rise is this.

Sex offenders will target this profession no doubt as it gives them easy access to children.

men are significantly more likely than women to sexually assault children.
Official statistics consistently show that the vast majority of individuals convicted of, or reported for, child sexual abuse (CSA) are male. For example:

• In the year ending March 2019, the Crime Survey for England and Wales found that 92% of adults who reported experiencing CSA said the perpetrator was male only.
• In 2022/23, almost 99% of individuals convicted of child sexual abuse offences in the UK were men.
• Reports to the Australian Royal Commission by victims and survivors of institutional abuse revealed that 93.9% of the abuse was perpetrated by an adult man.

So just a blanket ban on them all together ?

It isn’t my personal opinion but I do think we ought to have measures in place to make nurseries more secure and safer. This thread is to invite discussion.

Also, kudos to those brave little 3 year olds who had the courage to tell their parents because they’ve saved a lot of potential victims in the future. My thoughts and wishes for a life time of healing for them and theirs.

Bluecrystal2 "An athlete said recently there are no paedophile sports coaches but lots of sports coaches are paedophiles."

If lots of sports coaches are paedophiles then how are there no paedophile sports coaches? That makes no sense at all.

And yes there are female abusers BUT the biggest risk to women and children is still MEN. Equality in this area is absolute madness.

Not in this particular thread but in too many other threads on this and other social media it’s “why would a man want to be a primary teacher?” “Why do men want to be scout leaders?” “Why do men want to be gynaecologists?” and far too many responses imply that the reason is because they are perverts!

I had other mothers telling me that I was irresponsible for allowing my husband to bathe our daughter or change her nappy without my supervision - “but he’s a man!”

At school I’ve had a parent ring and make a complaint about our male site manager being in the playground clearing up leaves while the children are arriving in the morning “I don’t think it’s healthy for an adult male to be around such young children” she said!

@WeeGeeBored "It's actually quite easy to effectively ban men from your own life with immediate effect."

Not really. They're everywhere.

I took my daughter out of a nursery because they refused to give me choice over who did her personal care.

Men are forced on us. I would not want a man doing my personal care and I do not want a man doing my daughters personal care.

Yes I think women are statistically more likely to physically abuse children than men. And often when I see abusive parenting out and about it’s from women (eg screaming at their kid to fucking shut up or ignoring them). However, a lot of the time the difference will be due to women overwhelmingly being the primary carers so it’s hard to draw many conclusions.
But there are plenty of examples of non-sexual abuse of kids by women - the nursery workers mentioned on here already, Emma Tustin, Star Hobson’s killer, Lucy Letby etc

Mandatory cameras in all nurseries and nappy changing areas should be made law to protect our kids from all forms of abuse.

So no examples of anyone saying ‘all men are predators’ then.

YABU the one male nursery staff member at DD and DS nursery was absolutely lovely. He’s still a nursery nurse now ans he worked with a friends DD and it’s over 19 years since DD left.

It's funny no one objects to male paediatrians.

It is men who are more likely to abuse children than women.

Probably because the parent is always there at a paediatric appointment.

This was my child’s nursery. Was a shock seeing this in the paper. When it happened we didn’t know much but I had worked out it was this male nursery worker by process of elimination. As parents we never knew any other details apart from the police were involved.

i made a post on Mumsnet asking if I had a right to know what happened and I got absolutely flamed on here. Called all sorts… a woman whose nephew got accused of something said the child probably made it up.i left Mumsnet for a while after that. Getting called a ‘gossip’ for wanting to know the details… and now I know all along there was a monster there

And the majority of MEN don’t abuse children either! The vast majority of all humans are decent people regardless of gender, colour or creed.

With a ratio of 99% of sex abuse being committed by males to 1% committed by females, it does bear thinking about.

Oh @Bipitybopitybo that's so upsetting for you..every parents nightmare

Firstly, I did not say men commit offences less , I said women do too.

Secondly, in terms of statistics, they come from reported offences. Massively under reported anyway regardless of gender . But , do you really not think that a lot less men report being victims than women- I’m not talking about child abuse here. But , also in terms of child abuse do you not think men get found easier ? I’m not saying more women commit child abuse than men at all - I have to go by statistics here because there is no other way of knowing and you’re right that statistically men commit more offences , but look at it like this - if you saw a female nursery worker or teacher etc spending a lot of time with a child , being a bit over familiar .. would you instantly think something’s off or would you think that’s how women are, they are maternal … but if it was a man , would you not watch them a bit more ? Would you think it’s odd ? I know myself I will admit that I would think more of the man behaving that way than the woman so think about it, is it not easier to get away with things as a woman ?

But back to my original point , removing all men from these roles will not solve it - the failings of these places to keep children safe need to be addressed

Unimaginable. I hope you're okay and all families are offered support.

My daughter’s best nursery teacher was male. He was amazing. Women abuse children too.

Based on what? Do you have a link?

It really was. The not knowing anything has been horrendous… especially now we know exactly what he did. He was charged with rape ffs! And I got absolutely flamed for saying I wanted to know! Well now I know and now left with more questions. Could my child have been involved and I will just never know. Makes you feel sick.

my child has since left and I have to say they were a wonderful nursery with wonderful staff. And there was one other male member of staff who was just amazing and who I have used as a very trusted babysitter.

YABU

My dd had a male nursery worker, he was universally liked by all the children and seemed to have a better rapport with them than the female nurses in the room.

No - but it is primarily men who abuse children.

In any case, do we embrace wasps because other insects also sting?

No, I don’t think banning men from working in nurseries is the answer. There was a young woman recently sentenced for abusing children in a nursery, so the issue isn’t just about gender. However, I do believe stricter qualifications and vetting are needed in these settings - and in care homes too. It seems far too easy for people to get these jobs, whether or not they’re genuinely suited to or passionate about the work - and as someone else mention an abuser would be attracted to these type of roles and can easily step into one.

Agreed 👆