Feeling a bit shaky after an encounter in Sainsbury's

[HelenSkeleton]

I just went to a Sainsbury's Local and picked up a bar of chocolate advertised at £2.40. It scanned at £3.00 and there was another shelf with the same bar at the higher price so I went to the counter, explained that I was confused about the price and the woman behind the counter went to check.

While she was doing that a woman who looked like a manager came up to me and very rudely told me there was "no need to get like that". I wasn't like anything. I was not rude, unkind, nasty or anything. I was perfectly calm. I told her I wasn't "getting like anything" and was merely confused. I was also confused by her attitude. She was very argumentative told me that "we make mistakes" which I acknowledged but she continued arguing with me saying"I've just told you we make mistakes". I hadn't even complained, simply asked for the correct price. I told her she was protesting too much at this point.

She was really confrontational at which point I said "you know what, let's just leave it" and I left the shop. I'm actually shaking and I don't know why. Her reaction was out of all proportion. I feel quite sick.

Years ago, I bought some face cream in Boots. It wasn't until I was walking out after I bought it that I realised I had paid more than the price on the shelf. I went back and queried the discrepancy. The assistant rolled her eyes and asked me what I wanted her to do about it. Given her attitude, I decided a full refund please. She huffed for a while, gave me my money and told me I had to provide my name and address 'in case you do it again'. What, point out a price discrepancy? Weird. I just smiled and said 'no'.

In your case, it also sounds like it was her, not you.

My first thought is that the staff member you asked has said something to the manager that wasn’t accurate about your encounter. Then the manager felt the need to step in and challenge a rude customer. Whether that’s what actually happened, it’s one of those things where you have to just move on and forget. A bit of a non event. You’ve not been banned from Sainsbury’s.

You don't need a full name to make a complaint you just need a first name or even a description and a time. How many "helens" do you think are managers in that particular Sainsbury's working that exact shift.

Report the incident, then forget about it an move on. Her problem is her problem not yours.

I've now put in a complaint. Using her first name only.

These things happen sometimes. A few years ago, I’d ordered one of DC school uniform (for a new school so no back ups!) at the end of July. Fast forward to the very end of August/very start of September and I still hadn’t even had a dispatch notice so I was getting quite nervous. I rang the uniform shop and explained to them the above and that I was getting a bit worried and could they check for me. The next minute, a man came on the phone literally shouting. Apparently, I’d been very cruel to a teenager at her first job. I literally couldn’t have been more polite.

Surely if you don't want your info seen, you don't put it on social media?

I disagree with "mildly rude". I feel it was extremely rude and disconcerting.

The staff were very rude and ignorant. OP was shocked and shaken up.
She checked info about the staff member on social media.
She will now make a complaint.

All very straightforward.
Not weird, peculiar or nuts as you claim....

Lot of victim blaming nowadays, in all walks of life.

That reminds me of my Manager OP. She’s often incompetent but seems unable to take responsibility so blames others for her mistakes. Or, as in your situation, she takes out her frustration at herself on someone else. It stinks basically! For those pps who claim you overreacted, have some empathy. I can absolutely understand you feeling like that after a confrontation, especially when it was out of the blue & totally not warranted. Glad you’re going to complain. These kinds of people need calling out.

Not sure why people are telling the op there is no need for her to shake / feel sick. Those are reactions that are completely outside her control and not a choice!

I think some posters take out their frustrations on OPs here, too. Some of the attacks on this thread only are crazy. I wonder if AIBU attracts the sort of person that wouldn't dare to say things in person. I don't know, but it feels like many respondents are like the woman from last night.

I had similar in Boots once. And the manage was a complete defensive arse. She was so rude to me when I was also being calm and matter a fact.

These things get to you (or me at least) because of the injustice. Some people feel those things more than others and it's just hard baked into you.

So totally get it OP.

@HelenSkeleton I think I would have said it's being dealt with, thanks. Then I'd have told her I'd put in a complaint. From your post I was wondering if she actually worked there? Huge over reaction from her.

She does, as confirmed by my wholly inappropriate stalking quick look on LinkedIn that came up with a Google.

But it wasn't a wild fabrication and a PP didn't make up that you said that you looked up the surname to make the complaint.

Perhaps a "Are you having a bad day? Have some chocolate" would have stopped her rant.

And then several people said that the full name wasn't necessary for a complaint. So I chose to use the first name only.

How is it "inappropriate" and on what grounds are you deciding it is inappropriate? Says who?

The OP is using a professional profile site to find out more about someone who she has a professional employee/customer interaction with.

What happens when the price on the shelf is wrong as well?
We sell for the lower price that is stated on the shelf.

It’s fascinating to see the number of people of who believe that googling someone is “crossing a massive line” or unhinged. Do people honestly believe there’s some kind of social contract which means you’re not meant to look at publicly available information about someone else without justification?

Because there isn’t - this is information that’s literally out there for anyone to read at any time. It’s not wrong (and definitely not stalking) to search/research as much as you want about any person you come across, if you’re interested. In fact it’s very much human nature to want to know about the people/world around you.

And if you think otherwise you’re very naive about what other people are doing with the information that’s out there about you. If you don’t want it read, don’t make it public.

I'm wondering now if she thought that because I'd drawn attention to the price discrepancy she felt it made her look incompetent or something like that? That she took it too personally, as she's in charge so to speak? She really over protested "we make mistakes" when it wasn't necessary. I'm thinking maybe she thought it reflected on her in some way. I don't know. I simply wanted to pay the correct price, as I found it confusing and misleading.

Which is irrelevant.

You said Where have I said I'll use her surname in a complaint? You've made that up. I'm not responding to your wild fabrication anymore.

You previously said It shows she's inexperienced. I'm not stalking her. I wanted to find out her full name in order to complain. Though the first name is unusual enough to identify her.

You DID look up her surname to use it in the complaint then essentially called a PP a liar for stating that. Whether you used or not is irrelevant, you initially looked it up because you wanted to use it.

Otherwise, why did you google her?

Suspect folks were on the sherry last night and just looking to have a go 😂

You met a weirdo. The world is full of them. Just forget it and move on.

I don’t blame you for being unsettled by what happened to you. It was weird and totally unexpected.

try to let it go, it’s not your fault clearly she has something else going on in her life that made her behave like that @HelenSkeleton

There’s a lot of DARVO-esque behaviour in customer service these days. If you, the customer, have a complaint or query or just point out that something is wrong in their pricing, you are often treated like an aggressor and the staff as victims. Members of staff “having a bad day” doesn’t really wash. They are at their place of work, working in customer service no less, so should keep their personal problems for a moan during their tea break. I’m pretty assertive but polite, and I always mention to staff that I am telling them because it’s a trading standards issue and a breach of consumer protection laws. If they get shirty, just tell them you’ll report it to trading standards instead.