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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a laughing stock?

814 replies

CovidHeadache · 31/10/2025 09:03

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

OP posts:
Littleblueridinghood · 31/10/2025 16:19

Caramelandsalt · 31/10/2025 15:33

I saw a bright pink bungalow last week and it made me smile. Good on you

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There is a bright green one near me ( think 1960s Neopolitan(?) ice cream with 3 colours) and it's quite useful in an area where few properties have numbers.

When Amazon get lost we say, go past the green ice-cream bungalow and turn left ....

DeedlessIndeed · 31/10/2025 16:24

Ahh you sound like my mum.

This will sound harsh, but she generally isn't considered a "funny" person. Kind in her own way, but not really life and soul of the party. But one the rare occasion that she does say or do something witty or amusing, she then repeats it, over and over, for years.

It is usually deliberately mispronouncing a word. Or calling something by a nonsense name. Company might chuckle, but then she will never use the correct word or name again. I have started grey rocking because I just can't respond anymore.

bugalugs45 · 31/10/2025 16:26

My brother does this , but with his and his partners surname combined & ‘manor’ on the end , their house is rather grand but it is definitely a joke ! To my knowledge nobody has took the piss …

changedwoman123 · 31/10/2025 16:28

Definitely don’t blame your sister for this!!

slightlyoverbaked · 31/10/2025 16:29

I have an acquaintance mainly FB ‘friends’ now), who says this EXACT thing (“X Towers”) but about her parent’s home. I find it insufferable, but that’s 99% because she and her whole family are insufferable rather than the phrase itself. She/they think they’re amazing, but most people agree that they’re pompous self righteous twits.

Hellohelga · 31/10/2025 16:33

People are being harsh. It’s just your little joke and I applaud you. There’s not enough silliness in the world. Also you sound like a lovely host. It seems like some people in your circle have lost their sense of humour. Your mum and sister sound spiteful - laughing at you while still accepting your hospitality. You don’t need to stop having a name for your home, but next t8me make it clear anyone who thinks Surname Towers is wanky can stay home.

Flyingintotheunknown · 31/10/2025 16:35

DeedlessIndeed · 31/10/2025 16:24

Ahh you sound like my mum.

This will sound harsh, but she generally isn't considered a "funny" person. Kind in her own way, but not really life and soul of the party. But one the rare occasion that she does say or do something witty or amusing, she then repeats it, over and over, for years.

It is usually deliberately mispronouncing a word. Or calling something by a nonsense name. Company might chuckle, but then she will never use the correct word or name again. I have started grey rocking because I just can't respond anymore.

My dad is very similar. Taking words I mis- said as a toddler and still saying them 40 years later. And he even went through a phase of telling people what I’d said as a toddler even when I was in my 20s!! But nobody was interested really. I mean who cares about what someone else’s toddler said decades before!

I do feel that people who do this sort of thing are looking for some sort of approval. It was funny and worked once and got people laughing so let’s do it again to try and make people laugh and be seen as likeable. I do feel that op is behaving in a similar way. The issue is that when done over and over and over again for years, it not only becomes not funny, it becomes extremely irritating and annoying.

I try to avoid people like this (although I can’t avoid my dad), especially in the op’s case because I feel it has some sort of childish element and that maybe they haven’t quite grown up or that they seek approval and attention from people and it’s too much like hard work for me to keep laughing at their jokes that after many years, are no longer funny.

Hellohelga · 31/10/2025 16:36

Equalizer · 31/10/2025 14:09

Struck me as crabs in a barrel mentality.

Eh?

Realrobin · 31/10/2025 16:37

Oh, OP. I would double-down on it now you know. Just to tighten the screw.

NewtonsCradle · 31/10/2025 16:38

I think if you stop hosting as much they'll have to step up and then you can tell them how cringe their efforts are! Your sister sounds mean spirited and jealous tbh.

Hellohelga · 31/10/2025 16:40

Flyingintotheunknown · 31/10/2025 16:35

My dad is very similar. Taking words I mis- said as a toddler and still saying them 40 years later. And he even went through a phase of telling people what I’d said as a toddler even when I was in my 20s!! But nobody was interested really. I mean who cares about what someone else’s toddler said decades before!

I do feel that people who do this sort of thing are looking for some sort of approval. It was funny and worked once and got people laughing so let’s do it again to try and make people laugh and be seen as likeable. I do feel that op is behaving in a similar way. The issue is that when done over and over and over again for years, it not only becomes not funny, it becomes extremely irritating and annoying.

I try to avoid people like this (although I can’t avoid my dad), especially in the op’s case because I feel it has some sort of childish element and that maybe they haven’t quite grown up or that they seek approval and attention from people and it’s too much like hard work for me to keep laughing at their jokes that after many years, are no longer funny.

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Jeez you guys sound so miserable and judgey. Don’t you have any silly family traditions you dredge up year after year?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2025 16:41

DeedlessIndeed · 31/10/2025 16:24

Ahh you sound like my mum.

This will sound harsh, but she generally isn't considered a "funny" person. Kind in her own way, but not really life and soul of the party. But one the rare occasion that she does say or do something witty or amusing, she then repeats it, over and over, for years.

It is usually deliberately mispronouncing a word. Or calling something by a nonsense name. Company might chuckle, but then she will never use the correct word or name again. I have started grey rocking because I just can't respond anymore.

My Mum will do that re repeating “in jokes” from her family from when she and her sisters will young.

Callinf something by her younger sister’s baby name for it etc. It’s not funny if you weren’t in on it at a the time!

And then if she says it in conversation and you ignore it, she’ll keep repeating it to get a reaction!

I don’t think OP sounds like that though.

OP - I mentioned this thread to my teenager and she thought it sounded funny and obviously a joke, and not cringe at all.

Timeforbubu · 31/10/2025 16:41

Yeah I would keep saying Towers loads around your sister now to wind her up.

Sounds like she was quite mean. Have your fun OP!

FrostAtMidnight · 31/10/2025 16:42

DeedlessIndeed · 31/10/2025 16:24

Ahh you sound like my mum.

This will sound harsh, but she generally isn't considered a "funny" person. Kind in her own way, but not really life and soul of the party. But one the rare occasion that she does say or do something witty or amusing, she then repeats it, over and over, for years.

It is usually deliberately mispronouncing a word. Or calling something by a nonsense name. Company might chuckle, but then she will never use the correct word or name again. I have started grey rocking because I just can't respond anymore.

You grey rock your mum because you don't think her jokes are funny?

MLMsuperfan · 31/10/2025 16:43

The problem with the 'towers' thing is that it's so overdone, I've been hearing it for decades. Usually by people who repeat the same things they've heard, dozens of times, mistaking it for fresh wit. They look so proud of themselves too. Not cringey just boorish. Clarkson-core if you will.

AngelicKaty · 31/10/2025 16:45

SauceySally · 31/10/2025 16:11

As I said I don’t believe she thinks it’s a joke, she bought a PLAQUE, she used it on invitations and phone calls. Most of her family and friends were just going along with her to not hurt her feelings but now they’ve had enough.

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OP literally started her first post with "I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows" so the fact you don't believe her is neither here nor there.
And so what if OP has turned her joke into a plaque? I have a friend who has a plaque in her kitchen saying "Jane's Kitchen" - it's well known in our circle that Jane loathes cooking and her DH does it all. We all know the plaque is a joke - but then we all share Jane's sense of humour.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2025 16:45

I have name for my house in my head which reminds me of how hard I fought to get away from my exh, and have this house of my own.

I don’t say it to anyone else though!

I’m not sure if that makes it weirder.

No one else would get why it meant that though, except in very specific circles (and those who would aren’t people I see in real life!)

Littleblueridinghood · 31/10/2025 16:51

Hellohelga · 31/10/2025 16:36

Eh?

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I had to look that one up ,so here it is

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

NewDogOwner · 31/10/2025 16:52

A three storey townhouse suggests you actually mean it seriously and trying to show off. People think you are Hyacinth Bucket.

SauceySally · 31/10/2025 16:54

AngelicKaty · 31/10/2025 16:45

OP literally started her first post with "I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows" so the fact you don't believe her is neither here nor there.
And so what if OP has turned her joke into a plaque? I have a friend who has a plaque in her kitchen saying "Jane's Kitchen" - it's well known in our circle that Jane loathes cooking and her DH does it all. We all know the plaque is a joke - but then we all share Jane's sense of humour.

Show quote history

Clearly Op’s mum, sister, extended family and some of her friends don’t share her sense of humour.

Whatwouldnanado · 31/10/2025 16:56

You sound lovely but in all kindness there is a touch of the Hyacinths about it. But do not give your sister the satisfaction of seeing she’s upset you. She’s been unnecessarily blunt, maybe a touch of the green eyed monster over your get together? Just say ‘round at ours ‘ in future!

OldBalkanNationalistGrumpy · 31/10/2025 16:57

But ok, you mean you are very self ironic and this is why you started calling the house this way. How people laughing about it behind your back is making you laughing stock - is this not what you really aimed at? to be funny

samarrange · 31/10/2025 16:58

FrostAtMidnight · 31/10/2025 09:08

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry. You did it as a joke, some people got it and some people didn’t. That’s jokes for you. It reminds me of Nigella saying “mictro-wav-ee” and dimwits thinking she was trying to make it sound fancy rather than the exact opposite.

Since that happened, DP sometimes talks about "homay-mahday" food, and I will admit to looking at the "timmy-tahblay" to see when the next train is.

But only ever between ourselves!

In the OP's case, once or twice with the right might be OK in the OP's case, but making it the actual name that you use systematically for your house when talking to almost everybody does indeed feel a bit wanky. (Perhaps wanktastic, even. 😉)

BettyBettyBoop · 31/10/2025 17:00

Do you also send out those round robin yearly family newsletters with your Christmas cards?

Littleblueridinghood · 31/10/2025 17:04

As a side issue -

I used to have a job that involved visiting people in their own homes in a very rural area..

One day i had to visit "The Penthouse". This was in an area where roads had no names. I had to stop a local and ask them and then I got directions.

The property was a 2 bed bungalow with the name in stuck-on letters on a piece of plywood by the front door. It couldn't be seen from the road, so I must have driven past it twice.

I found houses called "Thistledome" = This'll do me

Itythwbo = In twenty years this house will be ours Obviously a young couple with a mortgage)

And lots of first names of occupants "Paton" = Pat & Tony, etc etc