Am I a laughing stock?

[CovidHeadache]

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

I think everyone knows it's a joke. It's just a joke that has gone on too long for everyone else and the fact the OP makes frequent references to it in normal conversation means it isn't as subtle as Jane's Kitchen. And that's where the joke has fallen down somewhat.

It's only the OP keeping the joke going.

It's not that people don't get it or that people don't have a sense of humour or that people think the OP thinks her house is bigger and better than everyone else's just that, the frequent refences in normal coversation suggest that the OP has made it part of her identity and, as someone else has said, it smacks a little bit of 'You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps!' Which absolutely no one thinks is funny.

It's more David Brent than it is Hyacinth.

It's a bit pretentious tbh!

If she did they'll be getting buggerall this year, now she knows the lie of the land, so to speak.

Oh, god. I had uni friends who did that. Those things should be banned.

And the reason OP started this thread is because she thought they did and doesn't understand why one of them didn't tell her sooner if it was so annoying. She said some of her friends use it too (and she only has her spiteful sister's word for it that they've all been "slagging" her off for it). So apparently, whilst they're all happy to avail themselves of her hospitality, they think it's OK to take the piss behind her back. What lovely people - not. And what has OP done to deserve such opprobrium? Oh yes, given her house a nick-name - shock, horror, probe, hold the front page! 🙄 Who's it hurting? Absolutely no-one. It's hardly first-degree murder, is it? Some people clearly live very gilded lives if this is all they have to be concerned about.

It’s a joke that’s worn very, very thin….

There are so many bitchy people around that would rather choose to take things the wrong way and be mean about it when they could just as easily take something for the joke that it is. Sad.

I think it’s funny. Sounds like your family and friends need to get a sense of humour. I would call it that even more often and make an even bigger thing of it now 🤣 Get a nice big ‘Jackson Towers’ plaque made up for the front door even, get the house formally renamed too 🤣🤣🤣

Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

It seems like it started off as a joke but you just kept on and on with it. Events, messages, dropping it in conversations, a sign, etc so you were the only one prolonging this ‘joke’. You took it too far and maybe made it your identity so they didn’t have the heart to tell you it was wearing thin but this last time may have been the straw that broke the camels back. You have been going on about your Towers for years, people would have stopped finding it funny after the first handful of times.

She already has the plaque

I don’t make the same joke over and over again! And you are contradicting yourself in your comment by sounding ‘miserable and judgey’ about what I’ve written 😂

Would you like all the words you said as a toddler and massive poos you’ve done because you were constipated as a 2 year old being dragged up in conversation with your friends and relatives and your parents friends when you’re in your teens and 20s?? No thought not!! Because that’s what my dad did! And yes it was downright cringe and ridiculous!

Of course it’s not murder, what dramatics but we only have OP’s side of the story and don’t know how annoying she was really being about Jackson towers.

Oh dear. Did you buy it yourself? It's like people who buy plaques for their house that say things like "welcome to the mad house".

It is cringey. However, that doesn't make it ok for people to be mean.

My sons went to school with a girl who was absolutely desperate to make her chosen nickname stick. She had it on her leavers sweatshirt and , when they started 6th form college, she introduced herself over and over as this name. It was massively cringe. Ten years later its her Facebook name. None of her school friends ever used it. They laughed behind her back.

I think it sounds fine as a joke and wouldn't worry about it. I might phase it out a bit now though as you probably can't enjoy it in the same way.

I get it. I'm thinking of doing the same, only Burdock Castle.
As long as I'm having fun, fuck 'em.

they didn’t have the heart to tell you it was wearing thin

That's why no one said anything because they do actually care about her. But maybe her sister had got to the point where she couldn't bear to hear the OP say it again knowing that people had got tired of hearing it. And it just came out.

I refer to my home as " the ranch". I don't care a jot what anyone thinks when I say "back at the ranch". It seems they are the only ones upset by it. I would carry on and put (Ha! Ha!) in brackets after as signing your card from...... Towers - or emojis on any texts signed off like that.

The answer to why has no one said is because it's the sort of thing that gradually becomes irritating rather than it being immediately worth a reaction.
First few times, you might internally roll eyes, but when it becomes clear they're taking it more seriously (and let's be fair, putting it on invites does mean you're taking it seriously) you begin to cringe inside every time you hear it.

One of those things that you hope someone else will point out or they'll stop doing it because they realise that the joke's wearing thin.
And any joke wears thin if it's used too much.

Like someone who constantly name drops. The first couple of times it doesn't bother you. But when it's clear that they'll always drop into conversation "my good friend Sir Famous..." it jars.

If it was just your sister, then I'd probably say don't worry. Sisters (and brothers too) can find that sort of thing far more irritating and be far more likely to speak out.
However your friend's reaction tells you a lot more. It's clearly been spoken about and not positively.

Those saying "well they took your hospitality" are not really right. You can like someone; enjoy their company, etc but still find aspects of them irritating. There is no reason to suppose that the people who came didn't like the OP.

It's not "only the OP keeping the joke going" - she wrote in her opening post that some of her friends use it too (presumably the ones who still find it funny or are willing to humour her because they're genuine friends).
So, going back to OP's original question "AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?", she's NBU - why didn't they? If they've found it so unfunny for years why didn't one of them tell her years ago? Alternatively, if "everyone knows it's a joke" why don't they continue to treat it that way? (Or, at least, tell her kindly it's wearing a bit thin now.) It's clear that OP's sister, DM, other family and (maybe) some so-called friends just aren't very nice people.

In her hall, not on her front door.

If it is good enough for Donald?! .....

Alongside the other ‘we’re so wacky and fun’ stuff. 😄

Many years ago when my mum was a widow and me and my sisters were living at home and in our late teens and early twenties....a male friend of the family christened our house. Tit Hall...even the cat was female

I’m genuinely surprised that so many people would care to this extent about a silly in joke amongst friends and family. Also, not all silly things are deliberate attempts for attention or to appear a certain way to others - some of these things happen organically and just become part of the vernacular. We have all sorts of stupid shit we say as a family and with friends - it’s the sort of thing that develops alongside a deep bond and understanding between a few people. Op - I’m sorry your sister was nasty about this, please don’t change what you do.