Am I a laughing stock?

[CovidHeadache]

I jokingly call my house “surname towers” so for example if my surname was Jackson, my house would be called Jackson Towers. I’ve called it this for years, it’s very very lighthearted as I’m sure everyone knows. We host a lot of social events and I use the name in invites for example “birthday party, Jackson towers”, “Strictly finale party, Jackson towers” etc
In Christmas/birthday cards “love from A, L and all at Jackson towers”

All my friends and family know I call the house this and some call it this name too either in replies or just in general.

Anyway, last night I’d popped to my mums and my sister was there, we were talking about taking the kids to a Halloween event tonight and I said “why don’t you bring them back to the towers afterward and we can have a little party?”

My sister then said “I’m sorry but can we stop with this towers bullshit, it’s so cringy”. I said “It’s a joke! And you’ve never complained before!” My mum then said “not to your face maybe”. They both started laughing and my sister then said “no I’m sorry, someone needs to say something, people have been ripping the piss out of you for years for it, just give it a rest now”.

so to cut a long story short, turns out almost my entire family have been slagging me off for it for years and my sister hinted that my friends have too.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

Now I’m pretty thick skinned and can mostly laugh it off if I’ve been a dick but this time I’m a bit upset, I keep trying to tell myself I’m not bothered but I can’t stop thinking about it. Have I been a laughing stock for years? If so AIBU to think someone might have mentioned it before now?

I think it's funny if you do it in an ironic way, and putting it on invites etc.

But the example given 'why don't you come over to the towers' and using it in everyday conversation is literally toe-curling. You'd have been roasted years ago in my family.

It's clearly meant to be self-deprecating unless you are usually a Hyacinth Bucket type.

Sorry to hear that you have so many humourless plonkers around you OP. It's definitionally cringe to be unable to cope with a little light irony.

You jumped from ‘ripping the piss’ to suddenly everyone slagging you off.

calm down and laugh it off. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Sorry OP, it's very cringe.

I'd get it as an in-joke between your own household but to actively write it on invites and in cards to others AND even actually say it non-ironically in conversation is a bit much.

I think you just took it a bit far ,by writing it in cards and bigging yourself up

What charmers your Mum and sister are. I am sure you said Jackson Towers in a jokey self sending up way [not Hyacinth Bouquet] and they are too thick and cruel to understand and appreciate your humour.

this is a phenomenal idea.

Oh no! It's almost as bad as 'mi casa es su casa'. Have you got pampas grass in the front garden.

I think the initial one or two times it was a joke for everyone but then OP made it into a thing i.e. invitations, calls, texts, etc. They probably felt like they couldn’t tell her but now it’s just got too much and they just burst out. I also don’t believe op when she says it’s still all jokey, it started that way but if it was all lighthearted she wouldn’t have got upset with her family and started a thread.

Do all these people complaining about OP boasting or bigging herself up or being Hyacinth Bucket and so on really not understand that, even if they don't find it funny, it's a joke? That she's not really saying her three-storey town house is incredibly grand and posh, and the fact it isn't a mansion is precisely where the joke lies? At worst it's an overdone but inoffensive joke, not worth hurting her like this over. It absolutely isn't a boast. If she really lived in a stately home, she couldn't make the joke!

I saw a bright pink bungalow last week and it made me smile. Good on you

You actually have to BUY a ticket FIRST > to WIN the euromillions
Then KEEP on buyin MORE tickets until you DO win

Hardly a hanging offence but a teensy bit smug perhaps?

Similar to “We’re mad, us!” Or matching pyjama pictures or “Merry Christmas from The Jackson Family!” all showing what characters they are and everyone else on the outside looking longingly in.

She sounds like the kind of person who has a “you don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps!” sign in her office.

I think l would have struggled to keep quiet any longer at the point you started abbreviating it to 'The Towers'. ...as clearly your sister did. Can't explain why, but it's almost like reinforcing it , by giving it it's own abbreviation,. when it was clearly already annoying your sister and others enough.

When I got home I rang my friend and asked her if the towers name annoys her and she said “no course not” so I asked if she knew if it annoyed anyone else to which she hesitated and then said “not annoy as such”. She wouldn’t elaborate further.

^ This is the key bit because it shows that your friends or wider social circle thinks it is cringey.

Personally, I'd cut your sister and mother some slack her because with things like that when it starts it's not a problem but when it becomes a 'thing' that has been going on for ages, it is very VERY difficult to address it because you know it is likely to upset the person and be awkward so you let it slide. Then you don't want to raise it simply because it has been going on for SO long.

Those kind of 'I should have said something years ago, now its too late what can I do OOPS ITS ALL ERUPTED when I lost my temper/had a bad day/finally couldn't take any more/family crisis happened AND THEN I blurted it all out' situations aren't unknown.

Yes it's not great they were laughing about it but you can see why.

There's no big issue here really. It's trivial. If it upsets you, just stop doing it and then in about 12 months it will be forgotten unless you make a big thing of it. Or if you like it and have the courage of your convications, ignore it and carry on.

Imagine you had a major family crisis tomorrow - cancer or terminal illness diagnosis, someone was killed, limp amputation, lost job and income - how likely is it that you would care about any of this. Perspective is the key!

OP's got upset because she thought it was still a joke and her family and friends shared that joke with her. She's now discovered otherwise and in a rather unpleasant way - that's why she's started this thread.

As a joke or a one off as a joke is fine but if it's a regular thing, depending on what you're like generally it might come over as a bit Hyacinth Bouquet-ish.

Just ignore your sister though. Sisters have the uncanny knack of managing to put the boot in where it stings most (mixed metaphor but you get the drift).

Rather bitchy of your mother and sister to take delight in making you feel stupid. Unkind . It could be worse . An acquaintance of me lives in a cul de sac that for some reason thinks probably as they were self built on the past is somehow an exclusive club we should aspire to . Constantly referring to her female neighbours as The Orchard Mums . Cringe .

You had a plaque made? Omg, OP. I’m embarrassed for you.

If you lived in a proper old, large mansion with turrets then go ahead and name it Towers. But you don’t. You live in a bog standard house.

Loads of houses have names instead of numbers, or both. So naming a house isn’t unusual. My house is Rose Cottage. I didn’t name it that, it’s been that for a very very long time. But the name suits it, and I didn’t name it after my family’s surname. The whole thing you’ve done is very cringey, especially writing it in cards and invitations as if it’s an actual venue or well known, old property.

My mum also grew up on a farm and the house had a sort of “estate” name. She told me a story from when she first started school and the teacher had them write down their addresses. She wrote hers. Teacher shouted at her because “houses have numbers and streets, not names” and actually called my gran in about it! So, houses do have names and have for a long time. But… yours is weird and naval gazey and embarrassing, as made clear by your mum, sister and friend.

As I said I don’t believe she thinks it’s a joke, she bought a PLAQUE, she used it on invitations and phone calls. Most of her family and friends were just going along with her to not hurt her feelings but now they’ve had enough.

This with bells on.

I would stop inviting them to your place to be honest.

If they ask why, say that they have made fun of your home for the last time, and maybe they like to go to a restaurant and pay-through-the nose for hospitality?

This is so cringe.
I’d roll my eyes and snigger too. Is this out of character or are you like this in other ways. Maybe your friends just overlook this because you’re otherwise not David Brent-like. I’m not surprised no-one has directly told you to pack it in because you might have felt hurt.

I think it's fun...some people have zero sense of humour or are too unintelligent to see that you are joking.

The British used to be renowned for this type of self deprecating wit. What a shame we have become so literal and joyless