Would you expect a thank you

[knowingmekniwingyou]

Emergency at nursery so we had to collect children. I messaged my friend asking if she needed help to collect her kid as I could take them home on the bus.

Didn't bother to respond to the message for an hour. And it wasn't "oh thanks for offering" it was just stating she was busy getting work sorted.

Aibu In thinking she could have acknowledged me offering to help her. She goes on about the village and this is the second time I've offered. Other time when she was trying to get someone to look after little one after she had IVF. She didn't even ackoledge me.

Ok you may think she doesn't want me to, which is fair enough, but just say "oh thanks I'll bare that in mind".

I'm very hormonal today

I’ve stopped putting myself out as much with one particular person as it’s one sided and always all take. I invited her to mine for a coffee rather than me going up to her house as always. She was obviously put out and replied “don’t worry about it”. It felt tudey. There was no ‘thank you’. It annoyed me. Anyway, it’s all ok. Just stop helping out so much. We need to put less energy in to others and ask ourselves why we feel the need to keep pleasing.

Exactly!

I have to agree with this

I thought you meant you’d actually collected for her and she hadn’t said thank you! To not thank you for your offer is, at worst, mildly irritating. You’re placing too much emphasis on this.

If someone offers to help in an emergency/unexpected situation then it's basic manners to thank them, even if you don't need their help.

Basic manners have totally gone downhill in many ways over the last years so it's not surprising when people like your friend don't bother. It was rude of her.

Sorry but autism covers so many spectrum you can't say it's rude if she doesn't say and btw some of the best maskers are autistic people and you wouldn't have a clue face to face...anyway my sister would never think to say please thankyou etc she will say what she has to straight to the point and everyone that knows her knows that's fine and she will also only answer texts if it either interests her or she can actually think of a reply...my autism totally different in that I can't do forms, computers, keep a schedule etc so I do remember please and thankyou but majority of the time i wont engage in a conversation and bad days will be blunt and straight to the point if a reply is actually necessary

She’s been messaging me non urgent stuff all evening so it’s not like its affected her evening

perhaps you need to work on your emotional response to others because it certainly affected your evening.

Stop offering or helping. It’s her own responsibility.

Usually. I suppose your attitude is why manners are becoming less of a thing and people will become less willing to help.

Unless its someone knocking on your door and offering you 50p for your house, or offering you a sausage roll in exchange for a sex act, then YES! Any unsolicited offer would always be met with a thank you. My lovely (much older) colleague recently took me aside and offered me my pick of her wardrobe clear out. I know her style is very much not me at all, to say the least, but I said 'that's so kind of you but I've so man6 clothes I need to do a clear out myself! Thank you for thinking of me though!' I do not want her clothes but still said thank you.

Lol yup I am the downfall of society.

It's was just a question I was posing. I am almost embarrassingly polite at times - i just don't believe we should get all twisted up when someone is rude. Call it out or don't, but its just life, right.

I guess politeness is old fashioned.
I'm going to the shops can I get yiu anything, no thanks I'm fine

Do you want/need a lift home, thanks for offering but I'm happy walking/getting the bus.

Etc etc

I'm a dinosaur.

Yes it was rather rude. Please know it's bear in mind though. Bare always means naked and I'm sure you didn't mean that!