This is all so messy.
Not sure how to post previous threads, but please do read if you can.
Backstory: spilt with ex a few years now, he's a pretty crappy father, doesn't pay, inconsistent, unreliable, unstable (he recently told me he was an alcoholic) went to 1 AA meeting a few weeks back, he's back on the "sauce" again and the same pattern has re-emerged!
Anyway, there was an incident a month ago where my ASD son (6) was forcibly washed down by my ex's new GF while my ex held him.
My son has sensory issues and hates showers, I've told my ex this many times, he says I haven't I say he forgot!
Since then my son has said he doesn't want to see the new GF. I've not mentioned her at all. On Sunday was the first time my son saw his dad in a month since it happened (without the gf) he came and saw him for 4 hours, I booked soft play and my son wanted me to come, he is really clingy to me at the moment. To make life easier I said I would but I said to my ex 'im not there, treat me as if I'm a ghost, take this time as your own' and to be fair he did, for 20 mins before hiding in the soft play area to facetime his gf. My son came out in tears and said "daddy wants me to speak to xxx" I don't want to. I never said anything to my ex in front of my son but I gave him the 'look'
Anyway my ex is desperate for my son to spend time with her, while I get it will happen in time I don't feel easy with forcing it. My ex hasn't said the words but I know he won't see my son unless his gf is there. I think she has a issue with my ex coming to my home and seeing our son.
AIBU for him to just wait it out for awhile more and build a relationship with his son before forcing his gf into this?
She has children, she moved him into her house a few months after dating.
They are still together after a year, so this might last awhile but I just don't want to push my son into something he isn't comfortable with