I'm not sure how to share my previous post, but please do have a read - it will help.
Ex and I have been spilt for 2 years, the main reason we spilt was because he was a selfish man, he drank a lot, the drinking started during COVID and gradually increased.
He started to make more of an effort over the last week since we had an incident 2 weeks ago, he was supposed to see our son tomorrow (the first time since the incident, see last post) he was going to come on his own and spend 2 hours with him focusing on rebuilding their relationship.
My ex called me on Monday night but my phone charger wasn't working, so my phone was off. I managed to buy a new one early Tuesday morning and when I switched it on there was 3 missed calls from him between 8-9 at night. I didn't think anything of it, until he called Tuesday morning, firstly asking to see our son and then throwing in that he needed a place to stay for a few nights. He lives with his gf and her DC so I knew something had happened, I said no and told him to go to his mother's. I didn't hear from him again until Tuesday afternoon when he called and said he would see our son on Saturday and never mentioned anything about somewhere to stay and I never said anything back.
However he did say that he was drinking alot and he was going to go to AA meetings, I've heard this all before and never took any notice, he never sobered up for me and our son so I doubt he will do so for his gf and her children. However I put 2and2 together and realised this is why he was asking for somewhere to stay as she has obviously given him ultimation (they've been together a year)
Anyway he facetimed our son on Wednesday night told him he would be seeing him Saturday afternoon, and he was coming on his own without the gf (our son is still saying he doesn't want to see her after the incident)
Today, I got a call at 4.30 from my ex saying "I've got a meeting with AA tomorrow at 5, so I can't come now, but can you reschedule your plans tomorrow or Sunday so I can see him"
I said no, we are at the zoo until 3 tomorrow then we were going to meet you at 4 and on Sunday he's at a birthday party, you knew our plans.
He's currently not working, he got let go 2 weeks ago and is finding it hard to find another job. I did say to him "you have been off all week, couldn't you do the meeting during the week, or I'm sure there's meetings every day, can't you refused this one and take the next"
He said no, and "I should be happy for him as he's trying to get himself sorted"
As great as that is, I don't believe that he's actually doing it for himself, I think he's doing it to keep a roof over his head, and I know as soon as he goes back to work and gets back in swing of it all, the drinking will recommence.
I know I should be positive but I've seen it all before.
My issue is my son is so sad that daddy has let him down again, he continuously does this to him over and over.
Even when he does work, he doesn't pay - my son will as recently diagnosed with ASD and hasn't paid any interest in attending appointments.
Am I being unreasonable to think he should honour his first commitment to his son tomorrow or am I being selfish for my son?