Your top ADHD management tips

[sunshine244]

I am struggling with the combo of ADHD, a new job and two ND kids. My current reliance on alarms, reminders, post-it notes, a million notebooks and half hearted attempts at meal planning just isn't working.

So I'm interested in any systems or hacks that those of you with similar issues have found help longer term.

I have different alarms sounds for the really important things that I can’t afford to forget or miss.

Watching in hope of useful ideas!

I'll contribute the massive kitchen whiteboard on which we attempt to keep life at least vaguely on track. It works some of the time, which is far from perfect but better than nothing.

I've got a great whiteboard on the fridge. Shows the days kids have clubs, if I'm home or office working, bin days etc... Was great for a week then I just didn't notice it any more!

May not be what you want to hear but medication helps me.

other than that , sure, alarms and reminders and lists, but it’s like there only so much that I can do/manage/remember, and it feels like that is less than I would like/less than what is needed to run a life successfully!

Medication and ever-changing strategies. Our brains don't get tricked for long.

From my experience you have to keep changing up how you trick yourself to do things. Like you say, things become normal and fade into the background. I often turn off important alarms without realising I’ve even done it.

I use Notion - literally everything important goes in there like a second brain.

I find it really helps to phone my mum when I need to do boring tasks, eg doing all the laundry. It keeps my brain distracted so my hands are happy doing whatever.

meal planning I’ve got gousto meals in as they’re more interesting and everything comes pre portioned which makes me happy??? Idk why it makes it easier to want to cook with tiny bottles of sauce and a pack of six almonds but it feels less of a chore and more of a present to myself I guess. Also means I don’t have to do a big shop and can just pick up bits for lunches/snacks/drinks (appreciate this doesn’t work with kids).

job I block out time on my outlook calendar, eg two hours to do this report, 30 mins to review that bit of work so I don’t forget it’s due if it has a long deadline and a general timetable for monthly tasks.

main success has been marrying the most organised man in the universe who does most of the cooking/cleaning/bill paying/thing organising like getting the oven cleaner in and has absolutely everything written down on his google calendar.

Honestly just medication

Oh and we have a fridge whiteboard to keep track of meals

I find breaking things down into the smallest jobs possible works at home, like the different steps of doing the washing, it sounds stupid but being able to tick them off is a motivation when I'm tired.
Forcing myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour is important too, I'd be up until 1am if I'm not strict then useless the next day but if I sleep well then symptoms are way less. I have multiple alarms and a best friend who also has ADHD and every so often we set each others reminders of important things then it's our job to harass each other until it gets done normally but spamming stupid memes. We also do that body doubling thing where we call each other once a week just to get the dusting or the washing folded and do it together in our own homes. My daughter also likely has ADHD and she's started sound these things with me which is quite fun.

Try a productivity app - I love Finch. Finch now does my thinking for me. When I think to do something I grab my phone and set myself a finch, then finch reminds me to do it on whatever day it needs doing. Only thing I’ve found that has stuck and reduces the load.

also strip out unnecessary tasks. Get chat gpt to do your meal planning. I send thanks to the inventor of post it notes every day, post it notes keep me sane and run my work life! If it doesn’t go on a post it it doesn’t happens it tried using the Google reminders thing and ended up writing myself a post it to remind me to check the reminders!

at your job set some expectations if you can. I genuinely can either be very organised OR do my job as required, I can’t do both. I am lucky that I’m in a job where I can get away with being a bit disorganised because I add so much value generally - I really struggle to keep on top of my emails so I’ve said send me a chat rather than an email as I find that easier, it works. Given the right conditions I’m incredibly productive, ask me to be organised while I do it I am paralysed.

most importantly - be kind to yourself.

Using trackers on keys, wallet , one for phone has been best for me when I misplace things

I really wanted to like Finch but I kept forgetting to use it 😕 Any tips on making it work? I never made it past day 3!

following this as I can’t take the medication due to high blood pressure. Which I’m gutted about

Do stuff in short blocks of time.

Theme your week e.g fish night, beef night etc.

More advanced - in a month week 1 and 3 are the same and week 2 and 4 are the same. When you cook week 1, try and batch cook for week 3. Next month, swap out 2 of the recipes max.

Noise cancelling earbuds.

Novelty Interest Curiosity Challenge Urgency and Using your Strengths (NICCUS).

Building in a time for a daily review helps.

Use positive self talk.

Wait half an hour before doing something impulsively.

Declutter.

Elvanse

Mostly I am placemarking but @OriginalUsername2 can you tell me what you like about notion - I like the fact it looks flexible but any time I've got closer it looks very complex

I agree with switching things around every few months - just keep it to simple systems, I go through patches of a (simplified) bullet journal, a simple to do list system like 5 key things to get done - 1 you must do, 2 and 3 you will try to do and 4 and 5 are just wishes. I know people who get on with Kanban and someone has suggested I try mind maps.

I think what is important is

1 only ever have one notebook going

2 only use the simplest iteration of whatever the system is. Complex systems are not for ADHDers

3 Once you've decided what you plan to do that day, put it into the diary, you will probably realise quickly you need to take something out, and it helps with focus.

also - is your partner doing their share??

I now check things that I’m about to do with my mum first as I am often impulsive and make decisions without thinking them through properly. She is my filter and stops me being too rash..!!

Don’t sit down. After dinner just keep picking things up doing this and that putting that away for an hour. You haven’t tried to make a structured plan and failed at that step, you just start, but you still get through a lot if you do that a few times a week.

It just clicked for me! I’m a sucker for a little pet to look after tho, so that aspect really appeals to me. But I also love that it makes me take little breaks in the days. You could try exploring the activities and see if there’s anything that you like - I now end every day with a stretch break for instance, there are guided stretch/exercise things. I like the first aid kit too. I have a few finch friends too, that’s nice.

Re: Notion, I don’t do all the super fancy data linking that some do.

I just like it for having nice, neat pages of notes and information with an icon and header if I want, being able to see every page down the side, making tables, columns and to-do lists, lists within lists, coloured or highlighted text.. You can highlight a word and make it link to another page of notes which comes in handy a lot. You can log in from anywhere.

There’s loads you can do but I barely scratch the surface tbh!

I’m exactly the same. I only found out I had crazy high BP at my ADHD diagnosis appointment and was whisked straight to hospital by the nurse as it was dangerously high. Now on medication for that instead.

Can you try a non stimulant like Strattera?

DD1 has a number of dietary requirements, and is under a metabolic dietitian, but while they tell me the requirements, they don’t provide meal plans.

I don’t have ADHD, but struggled to work out how to keep within a calorie limit (as she’s not supposed to gain weight either). I tried Chatgpt - it was a revelation! I could stipulate the dietary requirements within the number of calories, list the meals she won’t eat and ask it to draw up a 7 day healthy meal plan. It also provided me with a shopping list, and the list of recipes with exact quantities for the seven days! Bliss!

DD2 has ADHD. She finds it best to break tasks down into stages, so when she has achieved one stage, it gives her a feeling of success.

I like Finch too. It appeals to my sense of novelty and is good for reminding about easily forgotten little jobs and things to do for yourself.

For housework, I'm subscribed to the TOM Rocks guided cleans; great for people who benefit from mirroring. There's a selection of hundreds of cleaning/ productivity sessions in there of varying lengths and it's so much nicer being talked through a task and having the micro-decisions made for you, rather than facing and overwhelming Big Job (that probably escalated due to procrastination in the first place)

That is an epic idea. I constantly lose my phone but often have it on silent so can't track it. What's best to use?