Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

[Dramatic]

My daughter is in year 11 and a lot of her friends have already started shopping or already bought their prom dresses. Some have spent hundreds (£350-£500) and their parents have actually taken out payment plans or loans to get them....this seems insane to me? Are shops just ripping people off? Just seems like a ridiculous amount of money for a dress to be worn for a couple of hours.

When I got my 18yo her prom dress we went to an ex display shop and paid around £50 for a gorgeous dress.

I like doing nice things, but not in school 😂
I hated school. I am probably the odd one out.

Wow! That feels mad.

I remember my prom dress, it was in Debenhams and cost me the equivalent of 3 months wages from my saturday job. I kept visiting it hoping it would be still in stock. I wore it SOOOOO many times, was my prom dress, freshers ball, weddings and eventually when it was ragged and old I chopped and sliced it up to go to a 'posh zombies ball' at Halloween. Money well spent!!

We probably "don't appear to have money" because we don't drive fancy cars etc . But we have a mortgage free house and big salaries and very healthy pensions and savings.

I dont know how people assume they can judge wealth

She cut it up?! What was her reasoning for that??

It’s weird to present this as non-negotiable and just what has to be done.

My daughter’s dress was £30. She borrowed smart heels and a bag from her Nanna (I don’t have those things for her to borrow). She wore the necklace that she always wears. Her fingernails were short and clean with clear polish on and she pulled a brush through her own hair and put a bit of mascara on and she was good to go. And she looked beautiful because she was 16 and it’s easy to look great when you’re 16.

DD hated the whole over the top dressing. She bought a naval dress suit - lots of gold braid and gold buttons - from a charity shop. Decided it would be too hot with the full white shirt and cummerbund etc so she found a plain black sleeveless jump suit to wear underneath the jacket.
She looked great and it saved me a fortune.

Taking out loans and payment plans is just plain ridiculous.

My DD’s wore second hand dresses and looked absolutely amazing.

I spent £500 on DDs - the last couple of years of school were tough due to Covid and they deserved a treat. I hadn’t planned to spend that much but it was far and away the most stunning on her and I could afford it so why not?

No I brought a nice dress for my University 3rd year ball, few hundred for that, but that to me was a big event, the end of uni

No, 3 daughters cost me less than £100 for prom. Actually 1 didn’t go… I cannot stress enough the waste of money and hype akin to a pretend wedding type event that has become school prom. So many people are dizzy eyed about it.

In Ireland we dont have any prom but 17/18 year old have a debs ball. People would easily spend €500 on a dress. Then theres makeup, lashes,nails, fake tan, hairdresser. Also relatives and neighbours are invited to the girls house for food and drinks before the girl leaves ( usually in a limo). I have been at houses where they got catering companies to bring the food. People are decorating for it too

No no you really don’t have to factor £500 for a dress, shoes, bag, makeup… just say no. It’s madness.

I agree about loans and debt

But there's nothing wrong with loving beautiful dresses or dramatic dresses, it's no different to choosing a suit. Each to their own.

Oh God - this is so depressing.

With dd we ordered her dress from JJ's house, it was about £100 but she didn't buy anything else like shoes or hair/makeup. I have heard recently from a couple of different people about buying dresses from prom dress shops for approx £650, these people are not rich.

If she had really wanted one for about £250, I might have gone for it, as she never asks for anything, but looking back, you would be better getting one from the high street (we would have done if we could have found one she liked). If not, I would personally go for black so it would have more chance of being worn again.

I did spend quite a bit, I think around £200 on my DDs prom dress, she’s my only child and it was a beautiful dress 🤷‍♀️

There were no other costs other than the cost of the meal itself as she went in a friends car, did her own make up and hair etc.

It was very different in my day ... the 'leaving do' at my comprehensive was a disco in the function room of a pub, everyone wore jeans and smoked a lot and the teachers got pissed.

Easier with a boy - dinner jacket from Vinted.

She did what now? 👀

I didn't intend spending loads and suggested loads of Vinted dresses to my DDs but they both wanted the experience of going to a specialist shop and trying on loads of dresses. So I ended up spending hundreds on each of them. But I can easily afford it so if I choose to 'waste' my money by buying my kids nice things so what. Their friends had everything from a dress made by their (talented seamstress) Mum, preloved dresses, high street dresses, expensive prom dresses but they all looked great and it felt like a big occasion for them.

At 16 I certainly wouldn't have been comfortable seeing my parents take out a loan to buy me a dress - not that it would have crossed their minds to do that for me any more than they would for their own clothes.

It's not essential. It's not necessary. Vinted and high street stores and charity shops exist. But if people have the money and want to spend it that way, that's fine so long as they (or their children) aren't putting pressure on other people to go along with it.

But we have a mortgage free house and big salaries and very healthy pensions and savings.

Unless you're making a deliberate attempt to hide it, I think most people will know you aren't broke. Fancy cars are far from the only indicator.

I live in a part of South London where people who do have money butt up against those who don't (the rented homes on down at heel estates being the indicator) - it is noticeable at our local school that families with not a lot are in general more likely to splash out on prom razzle dazzle than those who could easily afford to.

But many people would battle over the definition of nice (or, for that matter, naice!).

The neighbours calling in is a lovely custom, I think, but in my day they just got tea and biscuits as usual!

until you add the cost of a "special" car rental, then it's a lot worst 😂