Do you ever think that kissing is strange?

[Minto111]

Im single. I go on dates now and then. Over the last two years, I have kissed three men. The men I've dated always want to kiss with tongues. I prefer to just kiss on the lips, no tongue.

After each of the last three men that I kissed with tongues, I got really badly sick afterwards. They passed something onto me..After kissing them, I got a cold, I had a sore throat, I was burning up. I was sick for avout five days each time.

It made me think , Isn't kissing with tongues such a strange thing to do. We use condoms for sex to protect us from infections.

The tongue is an absolute hotspot for all kinds of bad bacteria, yet society tells us its normal for a man to shove his tongue, unprotected into our mouth.

Im now seeing a new guy. He wants to kiss with tongues and I have refused. I will kiss on the lips only. I don't want to get sick again

@SwingTheMonkey sorry, I knew I had worded that badly. I mean the very first time any of us had found out what oral sex was - I doubt anyone really wanted to do it. And I bet everyone’s first reaction was the same. “That’s gross”. Because it is .

Oh, I see. Thanks for explaining. Yes I agree it sounds weird and gross - until (for lots of people) you become sexually active and it then makes sense. You must understand that loads of people do it voluntarily, for fun, right?!

I only like my own tongue in my mouth, not a stranger especially on a first/second date.

Well, come to that, everyone’s childhood reaction when they found out what basic sex involved was ‘Ew! Really?’

It’s nowhere near as weird as sex, when you stop and think about it. But both are fun, so whatevs.

I’m 34 and have to be in the mood to use tongues. But saying that, that’s very rare if honest I just like kissing on the lips. 💋

The real reason for kissing is that testosterone in his saliva gets into her system by kissing and makes her more in the mood. I always wondered about it so I googled it!

Excellent bit of trivia, thank you!

Yes it's gross, I think the same about blow jobs. Grim.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with not liking french kissing! You just need to find a guy who is happy without it, I'm sure it's not that unusual.

I don't like kissing with tongues either. I think there are more of us out there than you might think.

I don't think it's likely to be a problem in most relationships tbh. If you're open to an otherwise broad sex life I don't think there are many men who will find no tongues a deal-breaker.

Until I was about 30-32 I absolutely loved kissing with tongue, nothing better. Over the past 15 years I’ve gone right off it, now I find it literally disgusting like the OP says. Not sure if it’s relevant but I’m autistic and tend to love or hate sensory things! I’ve gone from love to hate on this 😂

When I was younger I thought it was great. Now I think it's a bit icky with all the germs that live in the human mouth, and contagious illness sharing that could be happening. And other people's plaque!

I agree. I tongue kissed many men in my younger years without thought or care.
Now, I think its really weird and gross to swap saliva and bits of food stuck in teeth, germs, bacteria and furry tongues.
I trust DH as he has exceptional hygeine and I know this. But the thought of a new date for example, not knowing their oral health history and brushing habits.. yuk.

I’m dating a lot right now. Kissing is an art. I’ve kissed the odd guy who has just used his mouth and I hated it. It’s cold and off putting. If i meet someone that kisses in a compatible way to me ( with tongues) it’s the hottest thing in the world. Passionate and sexy. I could never be in a ltr with someone who kisses with out using his tongue.

I’ve always thought it revolting. Wormy and wet. And I hate the sound too when it’s on tv. Urgh. Just no.

Isn’t it the rush and timing issue? It’s been a long time since I dated, but from memory most blokes weren’t particularly attuned to your feedback, and dived in from 0-90 skipping all the delicious stations along the way. The tease, the move from gentle to more urgent, the whole rest of the package seems to get dropped in the rush to shove his tongue down your throat. Apart from anything else, it leaves you nothing to do with your own tongue because theirs is just there, stuck in.

Yep, it’s gross.
I’ve always struggled with this sort of thing. I also find sex grim aswell.

But kissing is just weird. Mouths are for eating and talking.

Haven't RTFT as I don't have my glasses on. Just had to add this, apologies if someone else already did:

A BBC human body series with Professor Robert Winston said we analyse each others saliva proteins when kissing, to look for a compatible child -rearing partner. Children are healthier when their parents have strong immune systems, judged by protein analysis.

https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2013-10-11-kissing-helps-us-find-right-partner-%E2%80%93-and-keep-them

I sometimes wonder if cave men did kissing, I can't imagine kissing someone who hadn't cleaned their teeth.

I'm not a fan, I admit I don't even like sharing drinks or anything either. Spit is disgusting, I don't want anyone's in my mouth.

I love kissing, but only with a partner who is a good kisser. Lots of saliva is 🤢

I agree. I hate tongues in kissing. Just bleugh!
Don’t like oral sex either. You are made to feel you are boring and narrow minded these days if you aren’t at the very minimum doing oral stuff.
I find it horrible.