Do you ever think that kissing is strange?

[Minto111]

Im single. I go on dates now and then. Over the last two years, I have kissed three men. The men I've dated always want to kiss with tongues. I prefer to just kiss on the lips, no tongue.

After each of the last three men that I kissed with tongues, I got really badly sick afterwards. They passed something onto me..After kissing them, I got a cold, I had a sore throat, I was burning up. I was sick for avout five days each time.

It made me think , Isn't kissing with tongues such a strange thing to do. We use condoms for sex to protect us from infections.

The tongue is an absolute hotspot for all kinds of bad bacteria, yet society tells us its normal for a man to shove his tongue, unprotected into our mouth.

Im now seeing a new guy. He wants to kiss with tongues and I have refused. I will kiss on the lips only. I don't want to get sick again

Yes I definitely think that some man invented kissing with tongues, and introduced it into society.

😂😂😂

I love kissing with tongues, it's a massive part of a relationship for me...sadly this always falls away fairly quickly. Im 2 months in with a new bloke and we can't get enough of snogging with tongues, long may it continue

I'm also in the 'the older I get the more I dislike it' camp!

F49, been with my husband 22 years.

Yes, absolutely. Kissing is gross, why did we come up with this as a sign of affection in the first place? And, so is someone breathing in your face.

I wonder why you've been sick 3 times, is that the norm? I love snogging , and BJ's though, so maybe not the norm.

I was just thinking about this the other day, weird to see a post up about it lol.

Yes I used to French kiss but haven't in years and find it grosses me out now. Husband is ok with that ( I hope) its a weird thing lol

Same , maybe its an age thing lol

Why? Do you think men get something extra from it than women do? Many women enjoy kissing with tongues too.

Mate, I LOVE snogging! I'm probably more sad about my snog celibacy than not having sex. I wouldn't like sex without snogging, so - weirdly - that is probably true. Never thought about this before. Thanks 😢

It plays a very important role in mate selection. When we exchange saliva we do, as you say, exchange bacteria and also enzymes, hormones, pheromones, all that stuff. This tells our bodies whether the snogee is a good biological prospect for reproduction, whether we have complementary immune systems (clearly not, in your three cases) and even whether we'll make good whoopee together.

The first two are scientifically evidenced in some detail. The third isn't, but it is the one most enthusiastic kissers would naturally volunteer! The science does say men can tell whether a woman they're snogging is ovulating, though.

It's possible you and your body are very selective. When you meet your chemically compatible prospect, maybe you'll suddenly get the urge to tongue-wrangle with him? I don't know, but it's a thought.

In some cultures, people don't kiss much but have other rituals like rubbing noses. This performs the same function. I'd have thought breath and a bit of nasal secretion would carry the same signals, though they might be a bit less forceful than a mouth full of spit 😷

I think men initiate it more. Whenever I have been with a man, it is always the man who wants to kiss with tongues. Not me.

My female friends said the same to me. That sometimes they just want to kiss on the lips, but the man will always try to push to do tongues.

Men want to be in a woman's body in some way.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001dxpq?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

I really like this podcast series anyway, but this episode is about the anthropological reason why we kiss. There is a biological reason - and beats doing it the way other animals do it!

I'm single and really miss kissing someone.

So in your very small sample, you’ve found that to be the case. It’s not the case in my experience- which one of us is right?

We are both right. Everyone is different. You like it. I don't.

I don't expect every woman on the planet to think the same as me.

That's why the title of this thread is a question

I would imagine that someone who likes it found it out by accident and then tried it out on other people, who either liked it or didn't. I think whether or not you like it probably has more to do with whether you initiate it or not, than your gender.

I am not sure you can draw a conclusion about which sex likes it or initiates it more. Have you kissed many women, or discussed kissing preferences with many men?

I think oral sex is revolting 🤢. I think it’s glamorised but really, no one ever wanted to do it, when we first heard of it.

Kissing is fine, but this new fashion of tongue bathing people's face is just grim.

Snogging is like eating an egg - if I think about it too much then I get the ick.

Mashing our food holes together - WHY???

Anyway YANBU but lots of people will consider this a cornerstone of a romantic relationship, so you may struggle to get others to agree with this as a no-go area.

I’m questioning your assertion that it must have been a man who invented it. It’s just a weird thing to say because lots of women really enjoy it too.

I think it is a weird thing to do - i can't think of any other species that does it. But it is also great fun.

Stroking animals is another thing that comes into this category of weird but fun.

What do you mean, ‘when we first heard of it’? It’s not a new thing! Clearly people have wanted to do it or it wouldn’t be a thing?

I come across plenty of people who’s tongues look like they’ve never been cleaned. I’d really struggle to kiss them on the lips, never mind using tongues 😷

It might sound revolting in theory but in practise it is bloody amazing (when done well). Very little feels nicer!!

I like to think of it as a test of if they'll be any good in bed. If they are rubbish at tonsil hockey then they'll likely be rubbish in the sack too.

The only time I ever thought it was gross was the first time I tried it. I soon got to enjoying it and still do with the right person!

She didnt say it was a new thing. She said when we first heard of it.

It was invented by someone as a social romantic idea at some stage.

Presumably some group of people started doing it, then invaded another country, and brought the practice there