Moving twins into their own rooms - who gets the bigger room?

[BalletLallet]

I have 3 year old twin girls. Since they were born they have shared a room and it’s been lovely, however it is not working anymore. They are now in toddler beds so both spend a while after being put to bed moving back and forth between the beds, one of them wakes up in the night often and comes through to our room but in the process wakes up her sister etc. We put them to bed at 8pm tonight and only when we gave in and put one of them in the guest room did they actually fall asleep.

On that point we’ve decided it’s time to give them their own rooms. We have 4 bedrooms, all doubles. The biggest one is ours, then the next biggest is the girls room right now and the last 2 are guest rooms. We have decided we will probably give the girls the 2 smaller rooms as they are the closest in size to each other and the room they currently have is a fair bit bigger. Also since we will be losing a guest room we’d like to have both a double bed and a day bed in the guest room for when my brother his wife and their child come to stay which is pretty often.

Of the 2 smaller rooms one is a little bigger than the other, it won’t impact the amount of furniture the room will have but it will mean a slightly different layout and less floor space. I’m not really worried about floor space as we have a toy room downstairs.

Anyway the debate right now is who gets the bigger room. It really doesn’t make a difference as their needs at this stage are the exact same and I’m not even sure they would notice let alone care but DH is in a panic about making it fair. I’m inclined to say we just pick and then the next time we redo their rooms maybe in 4 or 5 years they can swap.

DH thinks we should have a system like who was born first, whose name comes first alphabetically etc. but I really hate this and again I don’t think it matters at all.

AIBU to think DH is really overthinking this!?

I’d do oldest has biggest same as most other sibling sets I think

Pull names out of a hat or tell them they must swap every couple of years.

Flip a coin. If they’re fairly close in size it won’t matter. My mum grew up in a house with a massive size difference between the second and third bedrooms. She and her brother swapped every five years. This is in the days before it would have occurred to anyone to redecorate a room to a child’s taste, they just got what was there already. I’d suggest decorating both rooms with fairly neutral paint and carpet so that you can easily personalise them By changing bedding and curtains

It’s really not that big a deal and they’re only 3. Tell them who is having which one, they’re nowhere near old enough to understand concepts of floor space and from what you’ve said, they’re pretty much similar.

Were you an eldest child yourself? I was a youngest child and always getting the smaller room and hand me down clothes does get to you after a while.

You say in the OP that one DD comes through to your room in the night so put her in the room nearest you and the other twin in the further room where she is less likely to be disturbed. Fairness is in treating them as individuals with different needs surely rather than in square feet?

I was just about to say this too. The one who gets up stays closer to your bedroom

have them share a room and use the bigger room as a playroom

They’re three. You don’t ask them, you tell them. By the time they’re old enough to figure out the rooms are different they’ll be settled into their own spaces with all their own stuff in them and won’t want to swap anyway.

“Since they were born they have shared a room and it’s been lovely, however it is not working anymore.”

Literally in the first line of the OP.

Too much choice OP! Just give them a room, they won’t care!

But then what would she do with the playroom she already has?

And what should she do to make a non working situation where they share a bedroom work?

Your scenario was mine 35 years ago. Both wanted the smaller room. In the end the older-by 3 minutes- agreed to the larger room. Just let them choose the design/colour of the room and you, as parents, toss a coin for who has which room.

Wtf is going on? I thought it was mumsnet law that anyone who mentioned having twins was denounced and banished to the bowels of hell? I also have twins (both evil, since you ask) and have lived in fear and trepidation of the Multiple Birth Police. I wonder how Roger Federer would fare if he joined mumsnet? 😄

Mine get on together and slept through the night from very early on. I’m clearly in the depths of hell 😆

Is the difference in room size noticeable to a 3 year old child, as you describe them as similarly sized? I think you may be massively overthinking, if the rooms are similar and will fit in the same number of furniture items. It is perhaps best not to describe them to your children as the bigger and smaller room, just distract them with choosing their own bedding/lamp/whatever.

You're over thinking it. Flip a coin and get on with it.

I also have twins and had to make the same decision – one a large double room, one a small double room. I asked the twins to decide for themselves and they did (in a roundabout way). They are 8 now and really don't care.

Oh gosh you’ve got some fun years ahead ( twin mum of boy/ girl twins here ). One year one wanted kfc the other macdonalds ( opposite ends of town) they also wanted different party decorations involving half the table being decorated in Barbie and the other half in pirates - boy/ girl but also applies to same sex twins I know. Lots and lots of fun - you’ll never get it spot on equal - but try and rotate things as much as you possibly can .

I’ve been through the different birthday decorations and different cakes. We don’t get away with more cake for us now they’re pretty much adults 😉