Director of Education privately educates their children

[Thattennis]

Recently I met our local councils director of education through a social event. He has 2 children who are primary aged and I know these children are privately educated and his wife also works at this private school. I do know he has worked within several of the schools in our council and he does have a good reputation if a little under experienced/young. His children would have started school after he took on the role.

However something about the director of education choosing to privately educate his own children doesn’t fully sit well with me. If he is supposed to be championing the system for our children then it reads bad to me that he doesn’t even believe in the system enough to place his own children in it? Our council area is massively mixed with some wealthier areas but also an abundance of council estates and economically deprived rural areas. The entire council only has one private school and it’s not particularly large.

AIBU to feel a little uncomfortable that the director of education doesn’t believe in the schools he is responsible for enough to place his own children in them?

At the end of the day, it’s his choice.

I personally don’t believe private education should exist in any form. But it does, and people will use it. You don’t know if he’s using it because his children have SEN, and thrive in the environment of a private school. You don’t know if they’ve had horrendous bullying experiences and they need smaller class sizes due to mental health issues. You don’t know why they’re there, and what experiences and expertise he brings to the role.

I understand there may be other motives but it’s unlikely to be bullying or SEN. The private school is notoriously not fit for children with additional needs, it has an awful reputation in that sense. As for bullying both children started school there from what his wife said so they wouldn’t have had the chance to be bullied in the state system.

You don’t know that though.

Maybe one is ND and they just need smaller class sizes. Maybe the school is a better fit for other reasons.

It could just be that there is a discount due to their Mum working in that school which made it seem more worth it. I get where you’re coming from though.

No he isn't supposed to be championing the state system. He's supposed to be leading the strategy for delivery of education and ensuring legal and statutory compliance within it.

I do understand all the positives of private schools and understand why someone would pick them. My
issue isn’t with their existence or that for some people it is a genuinely better choice.

I guess I just feel like if someone’s entire job centres around ensuring the state schools in our area are of a high quality, they should in theory send their children to one of these schools.
I guess I view at as the chef refusing to eat his own food which is hardly a vote of confidence.

If wife works there they probably get a staff discount.

It's fine. It doesn't mean he isn't too committed to the job he does. Maybe he wants all children to have the same standard as his own.

Many NHS trusts have private healthcare as a benefit. No different. Indeed many consultants work across both NHS and private, as do GP's. Doesn't make them any less committed.

If his wife works there it probably just makes more sense for them to go there? Logistically, if nothing else.

Don’t blame him. Thats his job. I wouldn’t use my kids as guinea pigs either.

YANBU to be uncomfortable with it, but no one is obliged to make parenting choices for their children based on the perceptions of others. He has as much right to choose private education as anyone else.

I don’t know, @Thattennis , it’s tricky. Just because you work in the system doesn’t mean your think it’s fit for purpose - people often work in systems, doing their best in an imperfect situation. I can understand if he feels this way then he may not want to educate his children in the local state schools.

Genuinely interested in this - where have you seen that as a benefit? I have never come across it and assumed that was because it would be entirely politically unacceptable. I was struggling to even get them to run a collective travel insurance offer like most firms have when I was there.

I get what you are saying, he is championing state school but thinks private school is the best option for his children. He should be fully backing state school.

we grew up in a smallish village and two of the teachers lived and worked in the school but didn’t think it was good enough for their children and sent them to private school. That always left a sour taste in my mouth, the local school was good enough for them to work in and to teach all the village children but not good enough for their children.

I presume he has to make sure it is of the highest quality within the resources he has for role he does - that doesn’t necessarily equate it to be iactually of high or good enough quality.

Honestly it is not a good sign! He sees it from the inside and doesn’t want what he sees for his own kids. It’s fair enough but also useful information to you. Conversely I know a state school locally where multiple members of staff, including the head, send their own kids. Again that’s useful information.

Its none of your business, his and his wife's choice. If his children were educated at x council school, he's been scrutinised unfairly for every dealing with that school.

He’s entitled to do that but I agree with you op it sucks and totally undermines his position

I see what you are saying but from his wife’s perspective, would the parents at her school not be saying the same if she didn’t send her children there?

Actually a PP makes a very good point.

every little thing would be scrutinised if his kids attended a state school. Every test result, competition, every bit of funding. Easier to remove yourself from the equation.

He's director of education at the council not a wizard who can make state schools in an over stretched and underfunded system as good as private schools.

He can be trying his absolute best and doing a wonderful job in his role AND the private school can be better that any of the state options. Two things can be true at once.

In the same way an NHS nurse, doctor or leader maybe want to use private health care to skip queues. The brand manger at Tesco might shop at Lidl because it's cheaper or Waitrose because it better quality. You can't expect a council leader to act against the best interests of his family to make a point.

I guess I just feel like if someone’s entire job centres around ensuring the state schools in our area are of a high quality, they should in theory send their children to one of these schools.

His job centres around ensuring the state schools are of the highest quality possible, with the pittance paid towards them by the government.

That's not his fault and there's no point in cutting his kid's noses off to spite his own face.

This. If he sent his kids to state school despite having access to discounted staff places at the private school, his wife’s colleagues/school parents might think it odd. So as a couple, they can’t win whichever choice they make.

Do as I say, not as I do.

I see this as along the same lines as Bill Gates pushing vaccines on the masses, but not vaccinating his own children. Those in on it know.

Actually he probably fully understands some of the limitations of state schools in a professional capacity and has chosen to privately educate. That would actually make me respect him more as he has chosen what he believes best for his own children without the job getting in the way of that. Why should his children have a different choice of schooling and give up a staff discount on the basis of ideology. He isn’t a politician but doing a job linked to state schools. There is nothing in any public servant job description to say they have to only use the public services their job relates to.