Director of Education privately educates their children

[Thattennis]

Recently I met our local councils director of education through a social event. He has 2 children who are primary aged and I know these children are privately educated and his wife also works at this private school. I do know he has worked within several of the schools in our council and he does have a good reputation if a little under experienced/young. His children would have started school after he took on the role.

However something about the director of education choosing to privately educate his own children doesn’t fully sit well with me. If he is supposed to be championing the system for our children then it reads bad to me that he doesn’t even believe in the system enough to place his own children in it? Our council area is massively mixed with some wealthier areas but also an abundance of council estates and economically deprived rural areas. The entire council only has one private school and it’s not particularly large.

AIBU to feel a little uncomfortable that the director of education doesn’t believe in the schools he is responsible for enough to place his own children in them?

I would say it’s one of those cases where it is none of your business.

How often do chefs book a meal at the restaurant they work at? Rarely. Should they never eat out somewhere else?

Should the director of housing live in social housing?

Does the director of social services need to be under a social worker?

Choosing a different path for his children’s education doesn’t mean he isn’t passionate about the local schools. He could have any number of reasons for doing that. It could even be that he recognises the local system is too stretched, there aren’t enough resources but there is nothing he can do to increase them. He may be doing his absolute best with the resources he has to improve the system. There is only so much he can control.

Hmm.
I think whether or not he is a hypocrite depends on his politics (which I suppose he probably can’t publicly express). There are plenty of Tory supporters working in the public sector.

More practically speaking, no matter how much he may passionately believe in improving state education, if the local state schools are absolutely dire, that isn’t going to change overnight. He doesn’t have a magic wand.
You might be a passionate believer in World Peace and go to work every day as a mine-sweeper, but you wouldn’t take your kids with you on the job.

Trying to improve current system means he mustn't be blind to it.

Good on him for sending his kids in the best schools. If nothing else, gives him a good view of both.

He's working with what he got. I'd prefer someone sending his kids to private schools and trying to make progress for state, than someone pretending that "state schools are great" we should be grateful for them.

Why didn't you ask him the question?

Wow. Do as I say, not as I do - povvos. Sounds like he knows enough to not be that impressed. Awkward.

In your position I wouldn't be able to stop myself gossiping to all and sundry about it.

ok then...

and?

Couldnt care less about this. He’s sending his child to the school of his choice and in his working life he’s trying to improve education for everyone. What’s the issue?

Maybe he and his wife tossed a coin for it - since they both have good "political" reasons for sending their children to a given school - and she won?

Less flippantly, completely agree with this.

He can be doing his best for the children in the area but ultimately his hands are tied by budgets, government policy, national curriculum, etc. his kids could have some form of special needs which make a smaller, private school more suitable for. Yes, it’s great he has the privilege to act on that if so and less fortunate for others. However he doesn’t need to throw his kids under the bus to make a political point.

You are absolutely right OP, but you won't get much sympathy on Mumsnet. Half the parents here are either privately educating their kids or saving up with a plan to do so.

Why does Dad outvote Mum on the education? Assuming it's v reasonable for Mum to say "I want to show faith in the place I work by sending my kids to school there"

Yanbu OP but conversely if I wanted my kids to go private I would not allow my husband to send them to a state school to prove a point, it's only 50% his choice .

My dd went to a very average state comprehensive, as did I. And we actively chose state for dd, despite having been in the fortunate position where we could have paid for private school fees if we had felt it was in dd's best interests to do so.

But those were our choices. I'm not going to judge other parents for making different choices, based on what they believe to be in the best interests of their children. That's what all good parents do.

I don't see why this man's job should mean that he shouldn't make particular choices about the education of his own children. As long as he is doing his job to the best of his ability, his private family arrangements are irrelevant.

YABU. His children can go to whatever school he sees fit. Education should not be restricted because he’s the local authority director of education. It’s like the NHS, the NHS is great but for me and my family, private is better so we go private.

Anyway, I hate to break it to you, a surprising amount of Public and Civil Servants send their children to private schools and a couple of the SCS I know who work at the DfE do too. It doesn’t make them terrible at their jobs does it? And at least funding wise, more public money goes to those not in private education.

If I found out someone was being a hypocrite like him then I would ask my local councillor to look into it.
The schools he runs are not good enough for his children but are okay for every other kid

Your local councillor would have absolutely zero interest in 'looking into it'

ETA he would only be a hypocrite if he was publicly saying that no one should use private schools or similar. OP has not indicated that he has said such a thing.

Anyone who thinks kids should be unnecessarily moved from a school they are settled in to make their parents look good is completely batshit.

Why is it a problem?

It's just his job, it's not a lifestyle choice lol.

They might get a bit of a staff discount, plus his wife is driving there every day, so might just be practically easier.

My mum recently retired as a secondary school teacher, always taught in state schools. In her last years of teaching she said that if my sisters and I were teens now, she’d pay through the nose to send us to an all girls school due to the sexual harassment she saw/heard of her female students enduring. Doesn’t mean she wasn’t committed to the school where she taught.

He might be thinking “the system at the moment isn’t somewhere I want to send my children but I’ll work really hard to get it to a place where it is”. I don’t see that it would mean he is less committed to that job. Might be better than someone in the role who thought everything was currently hunky dory no need to change anything!

you said you would gossip, I am not sure how that would do anything.

Who said the schools were "ok for every other kid"? Did he actively say this, or is he working on improving what exists?

Do you really prefer someone telling you " schools in other countries are worst, you should consider lucky you have "free" education so be grateful and do not suggest any improvement"? Really?

There are 2 parents.. she teaches at the school so therefore maybe she thinks its the right choice for her children especially as logistically I'm sure its much easier for them as a family
.. lots of Directors work long hours and I'm sure she's picking up a chunk of the pick ups drop offs as well...
Think you're trying to make it a political thing unnecessarily... Why should his job trump her
choices ... He may change job/area .... Its not always about the man ... Sometimes decisions are about the whole family....

His job is to make the best for the schools within a framework (budget, teacher recruitment, infrastructure, class sizes, rules, etc). Maybe he believed that the private school framework is better and will outperform the state school ones, even with the best management possible.

To go back to your cook example: if the cook works at a restaurant using average quality ingredients, should he not eat at another restaurant that uses premium quality ingredients if he wishes?