Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reduced Child Maintenance & my Ex has Changed my DS's Surname

78 replies

Intothesunshine · 28/10/2025 15:49

So, I posted a message earlier this year about my ill health and retirement.

CSA became involved as my ex didn't believe me. Anyway, HMRC and CSA confirmed my income and payments were reduced by 66%.

Now, my ex has changed his surname to her maiden name and without my consent. I have PR and named as father on Birth Certificate (we were married when DS was born).

I know he has a choice when he is 16 or 18, but FFS, why has she she gone and done this!!??

Feel very angry, but she is a complete narcissist and wants me to react so I am the bad one. It's hard to keep quiet but FFS, she has really pissed me and my other children right off !!

OP posts:
Notmycircusnotmyotter · 08/05/2026 18:33

Sounds like he wants to be known by her surname. Makes perfect sense if she's the resident, present parent

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/05/2026 18:35

AgentJohnson · 07/05/2026 18:06

You have found one instance of your 15 year old son using his mother’s maiden name, that doesn’t automatically mean that your Ex is behind it. However, if she is behind it please don’t go in all guns blazing, think about your son and what a difficult position he is in. It is no fun being a child of high conflict parents.

You are his father, his surname can’t change that. Take it from a mother who has a child who has her absent father’s surname.

ZOMBIE THREAD! It was over 6 months ago so I imagine it’s been resolved by now.

sundaysurfing · 09/05/2026 17:51

My mum changed my surname when I was in year six and I have never connected with her surname. I absolutely hate my name. It has diminished my opinion on my identity I guess. I really wish I could change it back, but I don’t want to hurt my mum’s feelings. I’m an adult now in my 30s, but I really really hate that my mum did that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page