AIBU to be upset that dd12 didn’t go on any rides at Alton Towers

[Hghlandlow]

just that really. I’m fighting with that’s ok not everyone likes rides and wanting her to just not be scared of things. She went with friends so created an issue with her being the only one not going on

I'm the person who looks after bags!

Did DD moan that no-one did anything with her, or did friends feel awkward that she didn't join in

Presumably at 12, you paid for her?

YANBU. That’s a lot of money for you to pay for her to go and stand around.

I think you need to work out why you’ve got an issue. Is it the cost, did she freak out and spoil it for others, do you want her to like them?

If she was happy and her friends were ok with her being the bag lady then just chalk it up to experience. If she caused issues then again there is a learning point. One of my children hates rides, the other loves them. I’m in the hate camp myself as I feel very sick on them. Alton towers would be a waste for my ride hater.

I hate rides, even the tamer ones. If there was a group of them why would it cause issues for anyone else if she just watched? I get that you might think it was a waste of money but she probably didn’t want to miss out on a day out with her friends. Better than her giving in to pressure to do something she wouldn’t enjoy. Personally I’d pay not to go on them.

I mean if it caused an issue then her friends might not invite her next time. I don't think friends necessarily need to do everything together.

Agree with some PP that with the price of theme parks that's a lot of money to pay to wander about not going on rides though. I wouldn't be forking out for that again.

One of the best moments of my life, was when I realised I was old enough to admit I hated rollercoasters and horror films. Through my teenage years and early 20s I pretended to fit in. But I hate them and love that I can just say that.

It’s great she can be confident enough to express that to her friends.

Also, I’m not a scaredy person at all. I’m chief spider catcher in this house, and happily climb very tall mountains and rock faces. It hate rollercoasters. You couldn’t pay me to go on one now.

This. DS (13) has inherited my tendency to motion sickness (I get nauseated even on those little roundabouts in children’s play areas, and have given myself a migraine in more than one occasion by sitting in a swing chair) so never goes on rides, but likes to go to local funfairs to hang out with his friends and eat churros. The difference is that it’s about €2 entrance fee.

Sounds like she was the only sensible one there, I would be proud, and also pleased she stood up for herself and wasn’t pressured into things.

Not fancying theme park rides is something of no importance in a child's life. They're not compulsory or a daily activity she needs to get to grips with. Shame about the waste of money, but now you know.

we all got fomo at that age she didnt want to miss the trip-what were the issues

I feel like we need some more context around the issues it created. Also was this presented to you as a “yes mum, I will definitely go on some rides so it’s worth you spending £45 on my ticket” and now you’re annoyed that you wasted money? Or did you pay knowing full well she hates rides and most likely won’t go on any?

It’s ok not to like rollercoasters. It’s not something you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to do, as if it’s some sort of life skill.

I say this as a person who LOVES them and has 2 thrill seeking kids who beg to go to AT every other weekend. I also have one child who isn’t a huge fan of anything that goes upside down etc so they just don’t go on. That child will never be made to feel like it’s something they should like to do just because everyone else does. There’s quite a lot to do at AT apart from big rides, especially at this time of year. Did they go for scare fest?

What were the issues? Was anyone upset by your DD not going on any rides?

Some people just find the multiple sensations overwhelming and unpleasant, and that's OK. We're not all the same. It can be a lonely place feeling you're the odd one out though, I hope she didn't feel like that.

If you're happy to pay the entry fee then it doesn't matter what she does and doesn't go on. If the entry fee is determined by what she goes on rather than the enjoyment she gets from hanging out with her friends then I think that's a bit shit.

We went to alton towers earlier this year.
If her friends were only going on the big rides, I don't blame her.
I literally felt like I had been in a car crash after the smiler ride.
It was for my sons birthday and I was the only adult that could go on with him and he needed a adult and honestly, it was bloody awful.
There are some smaller rides of course, DH has a heart condition and took our young son on those. I imaginr 12 year olds would not be interested in those.
But I had to endure the big rides and it took me a few days to recover.
The big rides at alton towers are really extreme.
There have been several accidents on the alton towers rides as well. I think someone died in the river rapids and someone got a leg chopped off on the smiler.
So, I think she is quite sensible 😂

There was no point in her going with how long the queue’s are,60-90 minutes wait time .

I think I would be annoyed if I had paid the entrance fee and then someone I was with didn't take part in anything, but, there is a nice aquarium, the shows, and some of the other attractions at Alton towers are great. It's okay to not like roller coasters.

One of my closest school friends came to theme parks with us all the time- she didn’t go on any rides. I don’t believe for one moment she thought it was a waste of time and money as she still enjoyed a day out with her good friends. My youngest son isn’t keen on rides but if he chose to go to theme parks with his friends I’d happily pay if he thought he would have fun.

To be honest I hate rides and I wouldn't say that I'm "scared of things", I just don't like rides. It is only a problem if I want to go to a theme park, which I just don't so it's fine.

As for it "creating an issue" with her friends, are you sure it really did? Like presumably she went knowing she wouldn't go on things so either she went knowing she wouldn't go on things, but she went and enjoyed hanging out with her friends, or she went and then got scared, which is sad for her, but again no issue, she just walks round and watches others!

Did she enjoy the day OP? Provided she wasn't stopping the others going on the rides, that should be all that matters. Not wanting to go on rides doesn't mean she's going to grow up 'scared of things', and even if she does, your job as her mother is to love her unconditionally. Please don't give her the message you wish she was different than she is, that can be massively damaging to a child.

Yes to context needed.
Was it her first visit there and how is she with rides in general?
Did something happen there between her and friends?
Is she upset ?
Was it that she didn’t want to go on the scariest ones and no one went with her onto no scary ones?
Or did she just refuse?

I voted YANBU because this would upset me too (I love rides though).

But you know it's her life and if she was OK with it, you have to learn to let it go.

I suppose if the others thought she would partner up with someone and she didn't it would be an issue for the odd person having to sit on their own. I'd probably be annoyed

Only Issue being it was an odd number for sitting on the rides, she would have been on her own when waiting for them and she said she wanted to go on the rides. If think I would have told her to own it and say she’d be the bag holder. I haven’t asked but she’s likely to have been in tears as she does when overwhelmed.

We went to Florida last year and my 13 year old hardly went on anything. He really wasn’t keen, however we all had a good time and this year he went on pretty much everything and loved it, there are some things he’s not keen on but we were proud that he tried things he hadn’t before, and found he liked them,

ww had a fab time but if he’d been the same as last time that’s fine too, I don’t know why you’d be upset? Perhaps she just enjoyed being there I don’t know but being upset about it is a bit dramatic, maybe Alton towers just isn’t for her. We all enjoy different things and she might try tides another time or not but it’s not the end of the world, my 20 year old said he’d not want to go on half the rides his brother went on.